Invited to a selling party, but no intention to buy anything. Is it better not to go?

[argyllherewecome]

A friend's dd is in university and has become a demonstrator for a very expensive product. I can't afford it, even if I wanted to buy it. I've been invited to a demo party and my DM says you can't go to these things without buying something as the host doesn't make anything. She proceeded to tell me how many things she bought from Pippa Dee/Tupperware/PartyLite just to "support the host". DM is prone to strange ideas, but I just want to check if this is a thing? Is it better for me not to go if I know I won't purchase anything?

I would agree with your mum.

If it is items like Tupperware I think you need to order. If it’s something high end I would be suprised if everyone purchased and it’s more about getting the name out there

Of course you can go without buying anything. I have been to many of these types of things in the past, often not buying.
It's usually a much nicer evening the more people are there, whether they buy or not.

Just decline. When these were all the rage, I decided to explain why I don’t go (against MLMs which exploit women) and people stopped asking me to Body Shop parties etc - what a relief!

I think there is an expectation that you will buy. I don't go as I feel awkward if I'm not ordering.

It will be a hard sell. I wouldn’t go.

I wouldn’t go. The host usually provides refreshments too so you’d not only not buy anything, you’d be eating her crisps too🤨. Joking aside, don’t go. Someone who is resolutely not going to buy won’t exactly put other people off buying but will lower the enthusiasm

Your mum is right. Of course you don't have to buy, but typically everyone feels pressure to. Even a smaller, less expensive thing. Otherwise, you look odd. Which is the point.

I went to one for expensive skincare, I don’t know why but I just didn’t think about the shopping aspect of it and went along just to have a nice time with friends and meet some new people.
it was so awkward when I arrived and there was an order form and pen laid out on each chair, and the host (a friend so hard to say no to) kept encouraging me to order. All the other guests looked at me like I was mad for turning up with no intention to buy. I’m not a pushover but I ended up ordering the cheapest thing I could as I felt so awkward and that I’d committed a faux pas.

I tend to go and just buy the cheapest thing. But would decline if I had browsed online and there really wasn’t anything, there was a phase here of a costume jewellery MLM which I can’t remember the name of and there was literally nothing I’d have used so I never went to those. I’ve never found them to be particularly hard sell TBH, but you do feel a bit awkward if you realise having seen the stuff you have no intention of buying any of it, so if in doubt best not to go.

If you know you can't afford a Quooker tap don't go. You're wasting the host's time and potentially losing her money.

I agree with what your mom said—if it were me, I wouldn’t go either.

It's been an age since I have been to a MLM party but I always felt guilty for not wanting to buying anything so always ended up with some shite I didn't want.
I would decline the invitation if I was you.

Decline if you know you won’t buy anything at all

I have been to a few and usually bought something. Skin care usually. But if it’s something like a Thermomix demo I don’t think they expect everyone to buy. A friend used to demo those.

It depends on the product imo.
Candles and Tupperware. Yep you need to buy something otherwise what’s the point of going in the first place?
A much lesser known product, expensive with the host only presenting one or two products? Very different ball park really.

I agree with your DM. If you have no intention of buying then don't go. As these demonstrations usually have limited places you will also be blocking her from inviting someone who might spend hundreds of pounds and therefore stopping her from earning.

Do they only sell one product? I remember a lot of Pampered Chef parties when my kids were little- I didn't buy anything at the first and then declined subsequent ones! Things like Body Shop parties were better!

I always feel compelled to purchase so I have a pizza stone that I never use from a pampered chef party. Whenever I’m invited to another one I think of that pizza stone and think I’d much rather have £40 and politely decline. It does seem a bit rude to turn up enjoy the free food and drink and refuse to order. I’d only go if there was something I’d be willing to purchase.

Agree with your mum. I HATE it when I think I am popping around for a coffee morning only to find a stand for an overpriced kitchenware/leather goods/jewellery display hogging the room. At least you’ve been given advance warning, so I’d just say thank you for the invite but you’re not in the market for those goods at the moment so won’t be popping in.

if you dont like it and dont want it then dont go. as it depends on takings the hostess will be hard selling to get as much cash as possible so you will end up buying something anyway, just to escape the guilt feelings being heaped on you! i know because its happened to me!

Sorry I agree with your mum! You’re expected to buy something, you’ll feel really awkward if you don’t

I have two small bamboo spoons from a Pampered Chef party about 20 years ago, they get used all the time, so it’s not all bad. I’ve never come across them as demos for things costing £££s such as Quookers (do they do that?) but wouldn’t go to one of those unless I really was considering it as I think that is more likely to be a hard sell. Whereas Body Shop, Tropic, Pampered Chef etc I’ve always found to be no real pressure.

I had a friend trying to push me and another friend to buy a thermomix (£1500!). Constant messaging in the group chat about what she was making next in it, how good it was etc. then invited us to demo it. We both politely declined and her answer was “oh you love high end kitchen gadgets”

The only reason she was being so pushy is because as a rep you only get to keep your one for free if you sell a couple of them first. I found it so underhanded tbh. It was out of her price range to buy one herself so she decided to try and get us to fork out the money so she didn’t have to. I don’t go to anything like this now, it’s too much pressure especially when the person selling is your friend and has an idea of how much disposable income you have.

I fell out with a friend as I was invited to her friends (who I'd never met) MLM 'spa' evening. I declined and when pushed explained to my friend that there was no point in me attending as I wasn't going to buy anything. I pushed back asking why would I be invited if there was no expectation of me buying something?

Anyway, friend then contacts me after the party boasting that she herself had made £100 as her friend paid her commission for all the sales that came from the people she had invited. I was pretty pissed off about tbh