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Original poster

Invited to a selling party, but no intention to buy anything. Is it better not to go?

121 replies

argyllherewecome · 23/01/2025 08:51

A friend's dd is in university and has become a demonstrator for a very expensive product. I can't afford it, even if I wanted to buy it. I've been invited to a demo party and my DM says you can't go to these things without buying something as the host doesn't make anything. She proceeded to tell me how many things she bought from Pippa Dee/Tupperware/PartyLite just to "support the host". DM is prone to strange ideas, but I just want to check if this is a thing? Is it better for me not to go if I know I won't purchase anything?

OP posts:
DalzielOrNoDalzielAndDontPascoe · 23/01/2025 11:36

Velvian · 23/01/2025 10:45

Tbh, I wouldn't go even to make up numbers. I would want to discourage a friend's child from trying to rinse friends and family of £1k at a time as an income stream.

I wonder how many of these parties end up destroying friendships - when a 'friend' gives you a few glasses of wine and the hard sell and then you end up hugely regretting for a long time being guilted into spending far more money than you could really afford on something you don't need or even really want in the cold, sober light of day.

A Tupperware tub or two or a set of teaspoons is one thing; but a thousand pounds?!

Endofyear · 23/01/2025 11:42

I think the expectation is that you will buy something if you attend so if you're really not interested in buying I wouldn't go. Depending on the company, the pressure to buy can be quite intense!

Portakalkedi · 23/01/2025 11:46

Decline. I hate these things, what a crap idea for all involved (except the company of course), forcing or embarrassing friends and family into buying stuff they don't want or need.

turkeyboots · 23/01/2025 11:56

I haven't been invited to anything like this in ages. I kind of miss my old neighbour and her "parties". I'd turn up with a bottle of wine and she'd hand me an order form for what she was selling that month. It was a great way to meet people locally but I rarely bought anything.

poetryandwine · 23/01/2025 12:31

Coriol · 23/01/2025 09:58

If it was a good friend, I’d probably say ‘Look, Sarah, I will definitely not be buying anything, as I’m skint/ would rather burn fifties than own an Expensive Whatever, but am happy to come along to make up numbers if that helps (and it’s not too boring watching you demo whatever it is).’

Show quote history

I would not do this, because I think your friend will assure you that of course there will be no pressure.

And be wrong.

BobbyBiscuits · 23/01/2025 12:34

Tbh if you go you should probably buy like one small thing. If there is no 'small thing' then it's probably better not to bother. It will be annoying and why watch a demo of products you can't afford.

Those type things are often dodgy anyway. It's probably an MLM scam. So she's probably being ripped off and wants others to sell the stuff also. I.E buy loads of worthless tat to start your own fake non profit making 'business'.

Tissuesandfluff · 23/01/2025 12:38

argyllherewecome · 23/01/2025 10:12

Don't want to say what it is, but it's one product and more than £1000 to buy. I'd be happy enough to buy a candle or piece of tupperware to support her, she's young and trying to support herself through education. I think I'll politely decline, thanks all.

A grand my god no definitely stay away, She's obviously been sucked In to making her millions!

BrightonFrock · 23/01/2025 15:06

AwaitingFreedom · 23/01/2025 09:19

I agree with your DM. If you have no intention of buying then don't go. As these demonstrations usually have limited places you will also be blocking her from inviting someone who might spend hundreds of pounds and therefore stopping her from earning.

Call me an old cynic, but why would have “limited spaces” for something like this? Surely more attendees means more potential suckers customers.

Suggesting there are limited spaces to me sounds like the kind of thing one of these sellers might do to make it sound like an exclusive opportunity to bag a bargain, rather than a desperate attempt to flog you things you don’t want or need. And let’s face it - if you had a limited number of spaces available for this golden opportunity, would your mate’s mum really be top of the list?

4dcsExhaustedMuma · 23/01/2025 15:07

I wouldn't go if wasn't planning to buy anything

Itsaswelltime · 23/01/2025 15:13

Agree with your mum. The host will have laid on coffee or even wine and probably some sort of snack so you’re actually costing her if you don’t buy anything. As well as taking up a place that someone buying could have.

I don’t agree with MLMs and I don’t always have time to see my actual friends to chat so definitely wouldn’t spend a previous evening watching a hard sell for a product I don’t want…

myusernamewastakenbyme · 23/01/2025 15:24

Dont go Op....Im still using up Body Shop crap that i bought when i was duped into going round a friends for the evening for a glass of wine.

Princessfluffy · 23/01/2025 15:28

These parties are about financially exploiting your so called "friends".

BIG SWERVE for me

DriftAlong · 23/01/2025 15:32

I would always make an excuse now.
I ended up spending £30 on candles and holders that I didn’t want. I found out later my friend had prob made £3 on that!!!
Every time I look at them I feel angry!

DalzielOrNoDalzielAndDontPascoe · 23/01/2025 16:15

poetryandwine · 23/01/2025 12:31

I would not do this, because I think your friend will assure you that of course there will be no pressure.

And be wrong.

Show quote history

Yes, definitely. They'll be fully aware that, if you don't go, they'll stand to make nothing whatsoever out of you; but if they can convince you to go, however many (false) assurances they give you, there's still every chance that you might change your mind or have your arm twisted.

whaddayawannado · 23/01/2025 16:21

A grand? Good grief. Your DM is right on this one - definitely don't go.

BrieHugger · 23/01/2025 16:26

I doubt you’d be expected to fork out a grand (unlike other MLMs where you end up feeling pressured to buy toiletries you don’t need), but why on earth would you even WANT to go to listen through the sales spiel?

Original poster
argyllherewecome · 23/01/2025 16:30

Yes it's a ticketed event, but FREE. You have to sign up and I've had several reminders that tickets are going fast. @BrieHugger primarily to support the girl, it's her first job but the idea of a bit of lunch cooked for me might be nice too. It's a weekend day time event, I highly doubt there will be any alcohol served. It's not in her home, it's a venue I assume belongs to the company.

OP posts:
Wendolino · 23/01/2025 16:31

Years ago my DH was quite friendly with a workmate who invited us round to meet his wife for a friendly drink.
When we arrived, there was no sign of his wife, just him and a man who turned out to be his boss from his other, pyramid selling job. I think it was called Amway (something like that) and we got the hard sell, they were trying to recruit us as sellers.
As they say, we made our excuses and left.

MrsMoastyToasty · 23/01/2025 16:49

I think you can get away without buying anything if it's someone who is the "rep" for the company but they're not the householder whose house is the party venue.
I remember being pointedly late to an Ann Summers party because I hate the silly games they did as an icebreaker. They all waited for me to arrive before they started!

Boomer55 · 23/01/2025 16:53

If you go to these things, the expectation is that you buy something. Might be awkward otherwise. 🤷‍♀️

coldcallerbaiter · 23/01/2025 16:54

These things are outdated. It’s a crap business model that relies on awkwardness or social pressure to sell. Everything is available online if we want them. It’s not the 80s. I just wouldn’t go. You are normally invited by someone you hardly know, but all of a sudden they are in contact to invite you for their benefit.

BrightonFrock · 23/01/2025 16:58

BrightonFrock · 23/01/2025 15:06

Call me an old cynic, but why would have “limited spaces” for something like this? Surely more attendees means more potential suckers customers.

Suggesting there are limited spaces to me sounds like the kind of thing one of these sellers might do to make it sound like an exclusive opportunity to bag a bargain, rather than a desperate attempt to flog you things you don’t want or need. And let’s face it - if you had a limited number of spaces available for this golden opportunity, would your mate’s mum really be top of the list?

Show quote history

Yes it's a ticketed event, but FREE. You have to sign up and I've had several reminders that tickets are going fast.

What did I tell you?

ErinAoife · 23/01/2025 17:00

I agree with your mom.

AliceMcK · 23/01/2025 17:08

People have these parties to make money, sell the products, but that dosnt mean you have to buy.

Personally I’m with your Mum I’d buy to “support” the host, if I knew I couldn’t afford to buy I’d probably skip the party unless it was something I was interested in learning more about for future purchases.

I have a friend who was big into Bodyshop, I personally didn’t like it, a few things were alright but I felt if I bought it would be a waste of money. I went to 1 out of about 10 parties she had over the years because I knew I wouldn’t buy anything. I only went to the last one because it was close to Christmas and I did buy a couple of Christmas gifts, I wouldn’t have bothered otherwise.

ArchMemory · 23/01/2025 17:08

Don’t go. It will be torture being subjected to the hard sell and no fun.