Manspreading

[Dreamie]

Been to London for the day. On the tube encountered a classic manspreader, knees out into my space. I pushed his knees back with my leg and took up my space. He flinched but then made a point of pressing back.

I am 54 years old and no longer give a toss about what men think of me. I don't particularly like contact but I was making a point.

On the train on the way home a large man plonked himself next to me. He said 'oh sorry ' when he realised he had hit me in his way down. But he then proceeded to try to take up some of my space to make himself comfortable. I sympathise that he's larger and can't help it but that's not my problem. No longer will I squash myself in to a corner just to make someone else more comfortable.

He started off trying to stay in his space but after a while he pressed against me, and was flexing his leg muscles in a twitchy way. I am certain he felt aggrieved that an older woman wasn't making him as comfortable as possible.

The next man to sit next to me managed to stay in his space, the man opposite me on the tube didn't encroach into the space of the woman next to him. My husband doesn't do it.

I always push back now but I understand why many wouldn't. But I'm old and I've had enough. A lifetime of making myself small for the comfort of others has ended.

So, manspreaders, fuck the lot of em.

And yes, I also tell womanspreaders to move their bags if I need a seat.

Will it matter in a year? No.

Why won't men forcing themselves across women's personal space matter in a year? Of course it will. You almost never see women doing this, against men. There are probably some exceptions to that, but they aren't common.

I do that too @Wendolino

On the tube recently & a 20 something chap actually stretched his legs out across the aisle almost touching the base of my seat-those standing had to work around his legs. Very inconsiderate.

Mind you, as I shifted my legs, I 'accidentally' kicked his feet which he swiftly moved back into his own orbit.

Tubes are narrow & rammed but still a bit of consideration wouldn't go amiss.

I'm sorry to go off topic but 54 is not old!

That is a far more polite version than this 54 yo- who also doesn't usually give any fucks but gave a fuck about this- said on reading your post

Apparently, yes. In modern language, we refer to Judas Iscariot. However, biblical scholars now believe the true moniker was 'Judas His carrot'. It is said that this was an ancient Hebrew roadman chant heard ringing around the colosseum each time everyone's favourite traitor spread wide - in his loin cloth - to signify his male superiority over Mary Madeleine and unwittingly flashed his wrinkly, orange manhood to the crowd. True story, bro.

That's not the same thing at all

I don't live in London or visit it.
But I was looking at some of the photos from the " No trousers day"
Virtually all the guys that were sitting down on the tube were manspreading. I was laughing with incredulity at them actually. They looked so ridiculous. And so unattractive.

👏 good on you.

Before Xmas, I made a trip in to Birmingham and man literally rested his elbow on my head. I was seated; he was standing. And I, an almost 42 year old woman at the time was too scared to say anything. I wish I had the courage to tell him where to go!!

I have receipts as photo evidence.

Good for you OP.

You claim you don't give a toss what men think about you. However, you do seem to care deeply about what other women think of you or else you would not be posting this here.
Food for thought.

Brava! Solidarity. I'm 54 and don't give a shit either.

🤬

Well done OP, well done.

I fear my DH might be a manspreader, certainly at dinner he often stretches his legs straight out, under my chair, so I have nowhere to put mine (if we sit opposite)

I now firmly place my legs where I want them, not tucked back out of his way. After a robust talking to about ‘and where do you expect my legs to go?’ He will now shift his back without complaint when I move mine. He still does it thought, it’s still ingrained in him that he had the right to whatever space he wants, my space and convenience just don’t register. I think it’s an inbuilt thing, he’s actually usually fairly considerate.

Sometimes I wish I had a patio, and a large spade.

Classic example of this on Traitors Uncloaked tonight - Katherine Ryan and Oti Mabuse on a sofa, and a bloke called Jaz sitting in the middle between them. I'd say they each had a quarter of the space, and he was occupying half.

Bit draughty in that tunic

I take great pleasure in claiming my space in all the ways I should have when I was younger but didn't. I will loudly ask men to move their leg if it's in my seat space, I will not automatically move aside if a man is coming towards me on the pavement and taking up more than half of it, if a group of men are taking up the pavement and not moving I won't step into the road, I'll stop in front of them and wait or ask for them to move. Some don't realise, many think it's their right. On a train or bus you can tell when someone larger is trying not to encroach on your space and when they feel entitled to (and a lot of the entitled ones are no bigger than me). I would like all girls to do this (maybe they do now), if I had a daughter I would teach her to do this. It really is liberating to no longer shrink yourself.

Ugh I hated this when commuting.

Men who did that when getting on the train without a care in the world, but can you IMAGINE if you had taken up half their seat?! I used to push back or once I had to put my foot on top of a guys as there was literally no where left as he was sat opposite and seemed to think it was fine to put his feet on my side! He moved promptly!

Well he wore a long, loose tunic type thing so there'd be less restriction for manspreading but I imagine he wasn't the hefty oaf squeezed into too tight clothes that many men are these days, so he probaly would fit into the seats on the tube/train. He did wear a sort of red poncho/cape though that might be quite bulky.

This is the chat board, she's chatting.

Men on planes with bloody elbows. They always think the middle arm rest is for their elbows and then proceed to start sticking them into me.

that's the point at which I ram my coat or jumper in between us.

There was a MNer once who told a manspreader to move on the basis that there was no way his balls were bigger than her arse.
It was years ago but I've never forgotten the post. 😂

I can’t stand anyone encroaching on my personal space. If I’m sat beside a stranger on a train or plane I always put the arm rest down and rest my elbow on it. I’ve started putting my bag on the floor and either put my legs around it so I take up my space, or to the side where the stranger is so it blocks their feet from stealing my space.

I've told this story before, but many years ago I watched a younger man try aggressively manspreading next to a rather elegant older woman on the Tube. In a very loud, very posh voice she announced "I am a doctor, and if you feel the need to sit like that, you need URGENT MEDICAL ATTENTION", looking very obviously at his crotch.

He got off at the next station, rather pink and cross-looking.

All of you who think the Op is overreacting, what do you do in this situation? Let the man press against you? Make yourself as small as possible?

Thanks for this chat op. I was at the theatre recently and spent the first half with my legs squeezed into a third of my foot space because of the man next to me. Swapped with my husband in the interval who was able to firmly establish his leg space. Looking back, I wish I’d just been assertive and claimed my space! Next time.