DD wants my surname added into her name. Father won't agree.. is this a suitable compromise?

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DD is 7, for ages now she has said she wants my surname added into her name so it's double barrelled. As she gotten older she's asked why she doesn't have my surname. I've always kept it quite neutral and her father's surname is actually quite nice, despite the fact he is abusive, the surname fits well with her Christian name.
DDs Dad won't agree to adding my surname into her name for no good reason. I could go to Court but I'm not sure what the chances are of being successful. My surname added into her name flows well.

I was thinking about a suitable compromise as her father disagrees completely. I could change my middle name to DDs Christian name instead? It flows very nicely and to me it feels really special to have her name incorporated into mine as opposed to vice versa.

Has anyone ever done this? Is it ridiculous? DD knows when she's old enough she can do it herself but I know it's important to her and would go down this route, fwiw I love her name so would love it as my middle name.

My Ex wouldn’t let me double barrel my DD name either (BIGGEST mistake I ever made giving her his last name)

If you’re happy with your idea then go for it.

Could you change it unofficially - like at school and with friends etc but just change it on her actual documents when older?

I'd recommend this.
My friend at school did it, when she turned 18, she did it legally.

I did this when I got divorced. All DD's school and medical records were in my maiden name. The only ones who didn't accept it was the passport office.

Could you double barrel yours instead?

While it's commendable that you're trying to thing of ways to share a name with DD, I think changing your middle name would be rather pointless, I'm afraid. I would guess that your DD wants to share a surname with you because surnames are an important part of our identity; they're used a lot (unlike middle names) and sharing a surname clearly shows that you're her parent and she's your child. There is no substitute for this.

Assume you are no longer in a relationship with her father? Does she have any contact with him? Is it an informal arrangement or court ordered?

It is possible to apply to the court for an order to change her surname without his consent, but whether it would be wise to do so depends on various factors.

She might be happy to ask the school to use your surname as her "known as" name and then just change it herself via deed poll when she's 16. Her GCSE certificates would be in her legal name though (unless she can change it in time).

Assuming you're separated - if you go to court there's no reason you won't get this granted.

I have been researching my family tree. It seems to have been very common, to use the mother’s surname as a middle name of at least one of the children. My great great great grandmother’s surname, also a first name has been a middle name of the first born son of every generation since.

As pp have said, I’d suggest to DD, she adopts your surname as a middle name unofficially and then she can legally change her name at 18 by deed poll.

I don’t think what you are proposing is remotely the same thing but if she is happy with it then why not . Personally I’d just be explaining to her that when she is older she can change it to whatever she wants .

I’d change it unofficially everywhere and then she can do it officially at 18.

Are you separated or divorced?

You can go to court to get a family court judge to hear your and your ex's (?) arguments for and against.

Talk to a solicitor though. Your ex will accuse you of alienating the child, and you need to be prepared for this attack.

I wouldn't do this unofficially when dealing with an abusive ex (?) who has already got wind of it. Alienation is a charge that is taken seriously by family court judges regardless of evidence that the accuser is abusive, trying to continue abuse through the courts, and well able to alienate children all by himself with no help from anyone else.

To answer your question, yes, it is ridiculous.

If you want to change your name to make her feel secure and connected with you, you should change your surname to hers. Not add her Christian name as your own middle name.

I agree with everyone saying to change her name everywhere you can.

Mine have my surname as a middle name but with hindsight, I wish we’d double barreled. We need to move away from the man’s name taking precedence. I’d change it if I were you.

sorry but its just something you have to tell your dd she will waiter if it is important to her.

if its important then she can change her name when she is 16 and before that she can use the name if she chooses

Just do it unofficially!

Don't change yours, just tell her she can change hers when she's old enough.

You don’t have to do anything official, you can just change her name at school to the (double barrelled) surname she prefers. Lots of people do that for their children after marriages etc.

What the child is known as and birth certificate names don’t need to be the same.

I’d change it unofficially everywhere and she can make it official when she’s 18. My friend’s DD did this and by the time she was 18 she knew her father was a complete dick and changed her surname to just her mother’s.

You would be granted permission to double barrel in court. It’s unlikely he would get to say no when this is what your dd wants

I'd take it to court and have your name added to a double barrelled surname for her.

Why not ask the court for her name to be changed to yours, and as a "compromise" agree to double barrel?

If your husband is abusive and you leave it would be better to have the double barrel in there.

My ex wouldn't let me add my surname as a double barrelled name so I added it as a middle name instead by deed poll. That was actually a much simpler process too

she is 7

I know of friends that have gone to court for change of surname and double barrelled has been granted.

Just pay the £200 or whatever it is now and go to court. They’ll approve this for sure, bet he won’t even fight it.

I believe this has come up before and you can double barrel her name by adding your surname onto hers going through court.

It should satisfy the courts because she is keeping her Father's surname but she also wants her Mother's surname. You are not replacing her surname just adding yours to it. This makes it official.