DD wants my surname added into her name. Father won't agree.. is this a suitable compromise?

[IndigoVioletPurple0]

DD is 7, for ages now she has said she wants my surname added into her name so it's double barrelled. As she gotten older she's asked why she doesn't have my surname. I've always kept it quite neutral and her father's surname is actually quite nice, despite the fact he is abusive, the surname fits well with her Christian name.
DDs Dad won't agree to adding my surname into her name for no good reason. I could go to Court but I'm not sure what the chances are of being successful. My surname added into her name flows well.

I was thinking about a suitable compromise as her father disagrees completely. I could change my middle name to DDs Christian name instead? It flows very nicely and to me it feels really special to have her name incorporated into mine as opposed to vice versa.

Has anyone ever done this? Is it ridiculous? DD knows when she's old enough she can do it herself but I know it's important to her and would go down this route, fwiw I love her name so would love it as my middle name.

This a court won’t refuse a double barrelled name

I would do as others have said and double barrel your surname with hers unofficially if you can, if it does not cause problems with your ex. Of course she wants to identify strongly with you, her mother, these things are important to children. I do not think changing middle names will help.

She's 7. It's just a fad. I remember wanting to change my actual name many times at that age.

Just dont cause the faff of having her name messed around with and her birth certificate and passport not matching what she is known by and having to deed poll etc.

If it still bothers her at 18 she can deed poll her name then.

She's 7. It's just a fad. I remember wanting to change my actual name many times at that age.

Just dont cause the faff of having her name messed around with and her birth certificate and passport not matching what she is known by and having to deed poll etc.

If it still bothers her at 18 she can deed poll her name then.

If you both have different surnames it might be worth going through the courts anyway as it can be a pain the neck having a different surname from your child for travelling etc. if he's abusive and obstructing it, he might be obstructive on other things on the future. Getting names straightened out now would be a good idea.

@InterestedBeing
I really don’t think this is just a fad. Her father is abusive. She’s been wanting it for ages, so again, not a fad.

This is about her sense of parental connection, association, belonging, and her identity.

@IndigoVioletPurple0
Personally, I’d lean more towards her taking your name, OP, and ditch his entirely. If it makes her feel better about herself then change it. How empowering of her!

Changing your names, OP, doesn’t really achieve the intended goal.

This ^^

Just change her name at school and unofficially etc and then when she gets of age she can do it without needing his permission.

Self represent at court. If they say no then try again aged 11 so her views are considered.

Names and identity matter. Her views should be considered.

Let her know she can change without parental consent to anything she wants at 16 - so her GCSEs can be issue in the name she wants (unless a late summer born in England) .

This.

But 16.

I took my ExH to court about this and court stipulated that my name be added as a middle name as changing surname was part of DC’s identity or some nonsense.

There’s a bigger problem here, than names. You’ve casually added in that he’s abusive. What are you doing about that?

Never mind the names - you have stated that you have an abusive OH - that is the issue.

What is this doing to your child?

Just go to court. Make the application online. There's no reason why a court would not agree to this.