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I'm devastated, and sick of this life honestly

29 replies

Weeeeh · 20/01/2025 16:31

Got a 1 year old, always done everything alone, found my private renting with the savings i had, and had an alright life with money from maternity leave. since my work stopped paying me my life changed. My "partner" which does 0 for his family is a bum who stays home all day without worrying about bills or food, cause unfortunately it's all on me. cause if i don't pay it me and my baby will struggle. so i need to pay, and he doesn't care. my saving are all gone, and for food until the middle of next month i got £100 for nappies and all included. he knows that, and still asks me for money for stuff for himself, and when i say no he goes scatty. i'm sick of him. and he just doesn't leave, i don't know what to do no more. i'm going back to work really soon but how is it fair that im gonna be away from my baby, that i literally took care alone every second, to go to work and him still staying at home?
he promising he would get a job since even i was pregnant, nothing ever changed i've worked up until my 38 weeks cleaning, and all that time he was at home.
this is not fair and i hate him a lot. my mind is going crazy, everything is on me, the welfare of my kid and the bills it's too much, specially cause my bills are ever higher because of him tv on all day.

OP posts:
Idontjetwashthefucker · 20/01/2025 16:32

Get rid of him!

Mrsttcno1 · 20/01/2025 16:32

Who’s name is on the tenancy OP?

Weeeeh · 20/01/2025 16:33

i feel like i would be so much better without him, but he is like a cockroach, just doesn't leave i've tried saying everything for him to go, but nothing ever happened 😭 only those empty promises that's change nothing

OP posts:

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Weeeeh · 20/01/2025 16:33

Mrsttcno1 · 20/01/2025 16:32

Who’s name is on the tenancy OP?

i'm the main one but he needs to be there as well :(

OP posts:
Comedycook · 20/01/2025 16:34

What are you doing for childcare when you go back to work? Is he going to be looking after the baby? If you aren't going to need him for that at least, just get rid...he sounds pathetic

Queenofseed · 20/01/2025 16:34

Pack his stuff and change the locks

ClawedButler · 20/01/2025 16:36

When you say he "needs to be there as well", do you mean his name needs to be there, or he has no-where else to go?

Because if it's the latter, that's very much his problem, not yours.

You don't have a baby and a partner. You have a baby and a whiny man-child who contributes nothing to your life. If he was broke but made up for it with kindness, emotional support or practical support, that would be something. But he doesn't do that, does he?

What's keeping you with him? Has he got a strawberry flavoured d*ck??

MemorableTrenchcoat · 20/01/2025 16:37

Queenofseed · 20/01/2025 16:34

Pack his stuff and change the locks

You can’t do that if his name is on the tenancy agreement.

MounjaroOnMyMind · 20/01/2025 16:38

Weeeeh · 20/01/2025 16:33

i'm the main one but he needs to be there as well :(

Why does he need to be there? To pay half the rent? Wouldn't you save that if he left?

Dozycuntlaters · 20/01/2025 16:38

Why does he need to be there? What positives does he bring to your life.

Dont hint at him to go, tell him he HAS to go. Is he named on the tennancy?
If he really wont go then just stop seeing him as a partner. Just do things for you and your baby and let him fend for himself. Dont buy his food, give him money, wash his clothes etc. Disengage from him and carry on trying to get him out.

Bananalanacake · 20/01/2025 16:40

Did he work when you met him and decided to have a baby, why can't he go back to that work, if he was laid off can he look for something different. But yes, I'd kick him out, who owns or rents the place where you live?

Weeeeh · 20/01/2025 16:43

if he doesn't work he doesn't pay half of the rent... he needs to be there as he moved with me last year and the landlord put both our names

OP posts:
Justlurking101 · 20/01/2025 16:46

Get him removed from tenancy, break up with him. Do you claim universal credit? Contract them and move to a single claim.

Ohshutupcolinyoutwat · 20/01/2025 16:49

Come on op kick the lazy work shy bastard out. You are talking like you have no choice in this situation and you do, get rid!

BrieAndChilli · 20/01/2025 16:51

ask the landlord to remove him from the tenancy and then change the locks
OR
find a new tenancy, move out and remove yourself from the existing tenancy and bills
OR
just ask him to leave

Mrsttcno1 · 20/01/2025 16:55

Weeeeh · 20/01/2025 16:33

i'm the main one but he needs to be there as well :(

I’m not sure what you mean by this OP, could you explain? Is his name on the tenancy? Why does his name need to be on there, if he’s not even earning?

1smallhamsterfoot · 20/01/2025 16:57

Nothing will change until you change something.

Nothatgingerpirate · 20/01/2025 16:58

Such bastards disgust me.
Sorry.

Queenofseed · 20/01/2025 17:16

MemorableTrenchcoat · 20/01/2025 16:37

You can’t do that if his name is on the tenancy agreement.

Contact the landlord and get that changed as well, this situation will not change
You have a cock lodger

ScarlettSunset · 20/01/2025 17:32

I had one like that.
I stayed for far too long.
Don't be like me. Get rid of him as soon as you can.
Your life will be SO much easier without his dead weight hanging off of you.

CandlesAndCrystals · 20/01/2025 17:40

Get rid of him before you return to work!

He won't look after the baby adequately, baby will suffer and you'll end up on SS radar.

Him being the SAHP also potentially gives him resident parent status if you split up, meaning you'd be the one paying maintenance and only seeing your child every other weekend. He's be the one claiming all the low income child related benefits, and have priority for housing.

You realise you don't need his agreement to end the relationship, right? All it takes to split up is for one person to decide it. The other one gets no say in it. If the rental is in your sole name, kick him out. Speak to your landlord for permission to change the locks (at your expense, but a Yale lock is cheap and easy to do it yourself). He isn't going to willing leave this relationship, he's a cocklodger.

CandlesAndCrystals · 20/01/2025 17:45

Weeeeh · 20/01/2025 16:43

if he doesn't work he doesn't pay half of the rent... he needs to be there as he moved with me last year and the landlord put both our names

Speak to the landlord. Explain that he's financially abusive (and other abuse? What does him "going scatty" mean?), which he is and that you want to split up from him. Contact a women's charity for support with ending the relationship and getting him out of your home, if necessary. You don't have to have this man leech off you forever if you don't want to.

Stop doing anything for him - cooking, cleaning, laundry, sex or giving him any money. You don't owe him any of these things. You don't need a reason why, not wanting to is enough of a reason regardless of his opinion on that.

Chiseltip · 20/01/2025 17:54

And it's still living in your house because?

Greyish2025 · 20/01/2025 17:55

Weeeeh · 20/01/2025 16:43

if he doesn't work he doesn't pay half of the rent... he needs to be there as he moved with me last year and the landlord put both our names

Can you move out and find a place on your own with the baby or is that feasible?