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Original poster

Genuinely curious on your views on swearing around kids?

72 replies

Gingerred2 · 19/01/2025 20:02

A few questions just out of curiosity-

1- do you swear in front of your kids regularly? I don’t mean when you maybe trip and say shit
2- if your younger kids swore (say ages under 10) how do you react?
3- if you were out in company (an example would be say a family bbq in the summer) and someone was excessively swearing with kids in earshot would you ask them to watch their language?

OP posts:

FerretChops · 19/01/2025 22:23

I never ever swore in front of my kids - and I swear a lot! My parents didn't swear in front of me so that's how I've been with my own kids. And I judge people who do it tbh

However mine are now 18 and 26 so I'll swear now if I'm say, recounting a story word for word or reading something out but I still wouldn't swear conversationally in front of them.

Habit now innit!

Sistem · 19/01/2025 22:24

Only when tripping up.
i would ask dc not to.
Depends how bad it is. But not in my nature to.

Genuinely shocked by some of the dc in year 5 and 6 using swear words to abuse others. Some really horrible stuff from one or two.

Greengagesummer65 · 19/01/2025 23:08

Just no. Grew up in a household where swearing was a total no go, you’d literally have your mouth washed out with soap! I could have rebelled and become a champion swearer myself I suppose or replicated their horror. Seems like the latter for me, although maybe not as fierce as I’m okay with the gentle approbation of ‘bloody’ and an irregular ‘shit’ if I stub my toe. Would absolutely call someone swearing around my children if I had any.

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Families

PrincessOfPreschool · 19/01/2025 23:09

CrystalBall101 · 19/01/2025 20:34

Mine did. From the staff.

Show quote history

Unlikely. We had a parent accuse us of that. None of us had ever heard another staff member swear so it was a mystery. Turned out to be another child saying it (uncovered not long after).

The other day, a child said, "Ray said fuckit idiot". She's an extremely bright child (aural memory is immaculate). She knew it was wrong and had clearly heard "fuckit" before! It was slightly funny because of the way she said it and the twinkle in her eye (I know I'm saying something wrong but I'm telling on Ray so I can get away with it). However, I don't think I would have been as amused if I had actually heard Ray say it, especially if it was to another child in 'appropriate' context. I did judge Ray's parents. As it was I just said something like, "Oh dear that's not very nice words" and pretty much ignored it. At that age, giving it lots of attention is the worst thing you can do.

CeceliaImrie · 19/01/2025 23:10

I swear however DS is the equivalent of Saffy from Ab Fab about such matters.

PrincessOfPreschool · 19/01/2025 23:11

Ps. Sorry not clear. Ray is 3! As was the other child (now 4)

BobbiJo · 19/01/2025 23:22

I swear in front my DD, she's 11.
She's swears in front of her friends and they swear in front of her.
She's swore in front of me and gets the look.. and a "I beg your pardon?"

AtticusCatticus · 19/01/2025 23:29

Not until they were mid teens. Absolutely never when they were younger.

dreamingofpalms · 20/01/2025 07:30

No I don't

My DS19 swears and I tell him off, but I think he'll grow out of it

DilemmaDelilah · 20/01/2025 09:21

Never swore in front of my children and still don't swear now they are grown up!
One of my adult children swears, including in front of her children, but then tells her children off if they swear. Double standards I think and I do NOT approve.

stickybear · 24/01/2025 18:03

Interesting to read this. My six year old has come back from school this week telling me two of his friends have said 'the F swear', and I have to say I've been pretty shocked! I was expecting it at some point but not for a year or two yet!

Ponderingwindow · 24/01/2025 18:10

We swear a little. I’m more likely to say Frack or Frell than anything else.

We do not tend to expect our child to follow rules we don’t follow ourselves. We simply explained that society has decided certain words have extra meanings and can’t be used in some places, like school and grandma’s house. She understood this from age 3. I don’t know if it’s because any child can understand the concept or because she has ASD and hyperlexia.

Lonelycrab · 24/01/2025 18:17

Ds has just turned 13

Would never say fuck or fucking this fucking that infront of him. F off is ok though- he’s at secondary so will have heard everything by now. The c word I hardly ever use even amongst adults, only in very certain circumstances so he would never ever hear that.

I say shit if I perhaps miss a junction on the motorway or drop something in the kitchen.
Crap is not really a swear word, I used pissed off occasionally in conversation around him.

People that have to insert the word fucking infront of everything to make a point are normally pretty dull to listen to anyway.

Northernnugget · 24/01/2025 18:22

I use a lot of retro insults in the car. I don't swear in front of kids. I'd avoid playing dates with families that thought it was ok to swear in front of pre-teens especially.
It sounds awful when kids come out with bad language and I would be wondering where they've picked it up.

WhereAreWeNow · 24/01/2025 18:27

I always avoided swearing around my kid when she was little. It kind of stuck and now I rarely swear.

She never swore either. Now she's grown up she still doesn't swear around me but probably does with her friends. I've heard her swear a couple of times and it really surprises me because I'm not used to it. It doesn't bother me though. Just sounds weird.

I'm not sure I asked other people to change their language though.

Strokethefurrywall · 24/01/2025 18:51

Husband is Scottish so erred on the side of the word fuck being part of every day patter.
He uses it so liberally it didn't even have any context, so our two kids never noticed it.

That being said neither of us have ever sworn at each other in anger (never "fuck off") but I swear regularly really, mostly fuck or shit.

10 year old says " sugar honey ice tea!" (SHIT) as his attempt at swearing when he stubs a toe, 13 says shit or fuck when he's feeling angry/frustrated at something but usually with me where he knows he can speak freely.

When he was being bullied and scared to sleep, I would tell him to say whatever he wanted using whatever words he wasn't allowed to use in school, because I was a safe space. He felt a little more empowered shouting "fuck you, you peace of shit!!" which then led him to be able to describe how the bullying was making him feel inside.

stargirl1701 · 24/01/2025 18:59

1 - never

2 - I would be angry and scold them

3 - I would be angry and punish them

MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira · 24/01/2025 19:11

Don't swear in front of ds , if he swore he'd be told it was a rude word and not to use it. I don't swear at work either.

MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira · 24/01/2025 19:13

MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira · 24/01/2025 19:11

Don't swear in front of ds , if he swore he'd be told it was a rude word and not to use it. I don't swear at work either.

ETA at work we call it pro social modelling! Behave in the way you want others to behave with you

Tisthedamnseason · 24/01/2025 19:38

Swearing in and of itself doesn't bother me. Aggression and/or rudeness does.

So saying fuck when you stub your toe - no issue.
Saying something like "fuck off" to someone - not ok.

I don't swear much generally, so don't really censor myself in front of my DC, but would in front of other people's DC because I know they (the parents) might not like it.

I've never heard my DC swear, nor have I heard from the school that she has (she's 5). If I did, my response would be based on the context as above, not the word itself. But I'd tell her that she could get in trouble using the word at school.

To be totally honest, the only issue I'd have with DC saying "shit" if she broke something or whatever would be a worry that other parents would judge me, rather than any sense that saying shit is objectively worse than saying something else.
If she was aggressive or rude then I'd have an issue with that whether swear words were used or not.

Natsku · 24/01/2025 19:46

Heh, this actually came up at parents evening yesterday. DD(13) confessed to breaking the school rule of no swearing and I (and her teacher) said well that's not such a bad thing (I mean, there are worse rules to break) and she was shocked and asked if that means she's allowed to swear now Told her I've heard her talking to her friends so I already know she swears, she just needs to make sure to keep it to the right time and place.

I try not to swear in front of my children but it happens sometimes. DD would never swear when she was under 10, she actually left a friend's house because they were all swearing and she didn't like it. DS(6), on the other hand, is constantly swearing. I tell him its adult language so he can't use it but its become an obsession of his and I'm starting to think it might be better just to ignore it and see if he gets bored of it when he doesn't get attention for it. Though if anyone has any other tips for dealing with this, I'm open to ideas!

backawayfatty1 · 24/01/2025 20:06

3 kids 11,13,15. Husband & I swear a fair amount. Kids can swear in the house but not in front of people/at school/out & about etc. we don't sweat at each other ever - house rule. If you swear at each other, then no swearing at all!

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