Genuinely curious on your views on swearing around kids?

[Gingerred2]

A few questions just out of curiosity-

1- do you swear in front of your kids regularly? I don’t mean when you maybe trip and say shit
2- if your younger kids swore (say ages under 10) how do you react?
3- if you were out in company (an example would be say a family bbq in the summer) and someone was excessively swearing with kids in earshot would you ask them to watch their language?

I swear a LOT in front of my kids.

They (4 between 5-13yr) never swear. Never have, and never do even when they think I’m/DH is not there.

I couldn’t give a shit if people swear in front of my kids.

From a tiny age I’ve always told them it’s bad to swear but adults do it anyway, it looks embarrassing if kids do it, and it’s like alcohol, and absolute no until adulthood. Seems to have worked.

I didn't mean it in an unkind way

I just meant that she's not yet repeating the swear words so I don't need to worry

I feel bad now, but I am always speaking positivity over her and speaking to her

@AKettleOfDifferentFish she did, a couple actually, resulting in meetings with me and a couple of other annoyed parents whose children had obviously gone home and shared what they'd learnt too.

Just to add, I never swear AT my kids. Ever. I’m always respectful to them no matter how cross.

Probably get flamed for this but yes I swear as part of my normal vocabulary around my children. They are 6 and 3. Partner jokes to them that mummy has a mouth like a pirate. They know they are mummy words and don't repeat/use them although they do sometimes laugh. 6yo is an absolute stickler for school rules and will often tell me genuinely horrified that so and so said the s-word at school and I would be honestly shocked if I found out she had ever sworn at school/around friends at this age despite no doubt having been exposed to many swear words. Interestingly I have a professional job where I absolutely cannot swear so perhaps they all escape at home! It's not aggressive swearing if that makes sense, and my mum speaks in a similar manner so perhaps they will when older. I don't mind people swearing in their earshot although it would be a different story if someone swore at them.

I am an imaginative swearer, not someone who says ‘fucking’ every second word. I see it as an addition to an already expansive vocabulary in several languages. DS only ever used it to get a laugh. We did have very serious conversations about hate speech, and derogatory language aimed at others. I think the things that’s caused him to swear more is starting secondary school.

I didn't swear in front of my children when they were young and I barely swear in front of them now as adults. The most I'd say in front of them when they were little was 'bums' or 'for god's sake'.

If they picked up on a swear word when they were under 10 I'd tell them that swear words were for adults and only in very bad situations. Having said that, I made the car a 'safe space' when they got to teen years and they could try out all the swear words they had heard to me.

Yes, I would (and have) asked people to watch their language in front of children.

My mother had a particularly unpleasant way of swearing when I was growing up and I think that's why I don't swear generally. It made me feel scared, upset and uncomfortable as a small child. It was very often accompanied by some sort of physical violence so I associate the two.

I don't have children but I 'watch my language' around other people's. I wouldn't intervene if someone else was swearing in front of children - 'not my circus, not my monkeys' as they say; one thing to police oneself, not for me to police others.

That's appalling 😥

1- do you swear in front of your kids regularly?

I am guilty of saying balls and shit quite a lot but make an effort not to in front of the kids though the odd one does slip out.

2- if your younger kids swore (say ages under 10) how do you react?

Id give him a stern telling off (even still now, he’s 11) but he wouldn’t swear anyway, at least not in front of me!

3- if you were out in company (an example would be say a family bbq in the summer) and someone was excessively swearing with kids in earshot would you ask them to watch their language?

Yes and have done before but only when it was excessive enough that the kids were noticing.

Never swore in front of kids still don't even though They are adults now. If anyone else swore in front of my children I would pull them up on it and have done.

DH and I are quite sweary people, and inevitably the kids have heard it - but if they hadn’t heard it at home, they’d hear it at school. I think it’s quite naive to try and shield them completely - our approach has been to get them to think about the intent behind the words and their effect on people.

We don’t object to them swearing at home, but they know they can’t do it at school, in public, in front of other kids or grandparents. They also know that we don’t use language to be aggressive or offensive to people (so ‘that’s a truly magnificent sht’ is acceptable; ‘you are a piece of sht’ is unacceptable; as are words that are derogatory like ‘slut’).

They actually don’t swear very much at all, other than they think it’s HILARIOUS to pretend to look for something in a bag, and then pull out their middle finger. This joke has seemingly not got old for them after approximately 1,000 times of performing it.

As a retail worker the cursing customers have generally tended to be the trouble makers

As a teacher I can say it is generally the cursing children who are troublemakers. @stayathomer that is a really good resolution, you are doing your dc a service by trying to eliminate this. Children who swear in primary school are labelled by staff, pupils and parents. No one wants their child mixing with another child who is using swear words as normal vocabulary, especially the c word, apart from other parents who swear as part of normal vocabulary.

I don't swear unless livid and have never done so in front of my kids. I don't like it. I have never heard my kids swear (early 20s), though I can't imagine they don't. I have asked lads on trains to mind their language in front of kids a couple of times.

This
I hate swearing and literally never heard my parents swear. I think it's always important to set good example as parents. As my kids have grown one of them does swear as he is quite dramatic and prone to over reaction..he does have ADHD. I have sworn in front of my adult kids on a very rare occasion and they find it hilarious as they never thought l would.
I hate to hear parents swear in front of small children; at least try to keep it clean.
Growing up my dad would gently say ah!ha! When his friends swore: he was having none of it. I admired that.

Don't feel bad, I didn't mean it that way, but don't underestimate what she is taking in either

Not something I do much. I recently swore in front of 19 yr old because I'd banged my toe. He was quite shocked 🤣

My ye olde story about swearing in front of the kids goes back to my own childhood. Our neighbours - not at all prone to swearing - had a cooking the Sunday lunch tiff. Their toddler was on her trike in back garden later that day sayjng "You silly buggle! You silly buggle!" . I was about 7 or 8, I thought it was hilarious. My Mum had already briefed me on words I mustn't use but might hear out and about 😀.

A good rule of thumb:
adults, don't swear in front of children.
children: don't swear in front of adults.

For context, got 5 kids and all over 18 now, but

1. no, very occasionally shit (stubbed toe, dropped pasta that sort of thing) bloody, or bugger, might have used dickhead or wanker when they were in their teens (to describe someone)
2. badly, although I would have had to accept if they used my words
3. sometimes, although depends on the swearer and the situation, have also told my kids that it is on the swearer because they don't have many other words at their disposal. In a BBQ situation, I would tell people to mind their language in front of the kids, I have been on a flight with a load of drunk blokes behind me swearing their heads off, and did not even ask, just told the kids they were idiots and to ignore them. Sometimes, probably usually, people are unaware of their surroundings. As it happened one of them stood up, realised there were kids in front, and apologised and told the others to pipe down with the language.

Now they are over 18 (and more like friends with kids of their own) I say what I like in front of them and sometimes we tell funny stories where F is used which makes it funnier, or we say "he is a right B..d" or "pissed woman" type thing, but very rarely in anger. I also tell them if they use bad language, especially in a restaurant or in public (usually in a mild "language timothy" sort of way) but I mean it, and "they know" . Another offence and I get more lively in my remonstrations.

1. No. We never swore around ds. Tbh dh never swore anyway. I think the first time I swore in front of ds he was maybe 16 and I said 'shit' in the car. I've never heard him swear in front of me.
2. I always expressed shock and distress and asked him not to. Crap was the only one I had to deal with.
3. Probably not but I'd be looking for ways to leave.

My kids are adults.

Me and DH swore right through. Probably not so much when they were under 3 as you wouldn't want it repeated in a nursery or whatever. But by the time they went to reception, they both knew fuck, shit etc and that it was absolutely unacceptable to say in school. Kids were obviously in trouble for swearing over the years, but my kids knew that there was a time and place for it so they didn't get into trouble.

I love swearing but definitely not in front of DC. I save it for when in adult company only.

I have occasionally let one out if I've hurt myself but then apologised for using a 'bad word'. I think it's pretty low to swear in front of DC.

Absolutely would ask anyone swearing in front of DC to mind their language.

I grew up in a home where nobody ever swore or blasphemed.
I didn't realise it wasn't normal until I left home.

I ended up in a long relationship with someone who swore regularly and got worse over the time we were together.
It wore my spirit down and I ended up becoming slightly foul mouthed myself, even in my thoughts just from hearing it all the time.

After that relationship ended, I felt a massive relief one day when I realised I hadn't heard a swear word for over a week.
I hadn't really understood until then how much it had got to me.
I realised that constantly hearing foul language was a sort of low grade abuse which made every day just a little more unpleasant and that I really valued not having to hear or think that language.

I consciously chose to stop as I could see no upside to using foul language.
It took a while for me to go back to being foul language free and I would never choose to associate with someone who had what I see as so little self respect ever again.

I have never sworn or blasphemed in front of my kids and while I can't say I never ever swear, I couldn't tell you which year I last swore in, it's such a rare occurrence.
I believe it is a form of abuse.
Not as bad as many other forms perhaps, but nobody has ever been able to give me one positive reason to swear at or around anyone else.

It's like litter, smog or any other sort of pollution, it just coats your life in spiritual grime and makes things a bit more unpleasant than they need to be.

My children don't swear or blaspheme either.
I used to tell them when they were small that it was the only way people not clever enough to have a wide vocabulary knew to express their frustration and that they should feel sorry for them rather than offended.

I've been known to say bother from time to time when annoyed and find that people who do swear tend to smile when they hear it, so I don't think they care I don't swear.
I do care though and if someone can't keep a civil tongue in their head when they are around me, I won't employ them again or use their services.

We wouldn’t swear a lot in front of kids, the odd word might slip out or be over heard. If my LO swore at a young age I’d probably have to hold in my laughter for one and then calmly explain we don’t use those words. People swearing around my kids is dependant on the location. If we was in a very child centred environment then I’d probably give an eye roll, but if I’ve taken my kids to an adult space and heard swearing there’s not much you can do.

Ahh okay, I'm trying to kind of speak positively and lightheartedly about her autism and i think i didn't get the tone right

But agree, the swearing has to stop, even if the drivers in my area are bloody bellends 😅