Retirement- do you structure your day?

[Mistyhllside41]

One of my friends who is not on mumsnet is lucky enough to have retired a few years early.
She thought she would love it but is struggling a bit with it eg ends up lying in too much and doesn’t feel that she’s being productive etc.
If you are retired - do you structure your day? And plan it out eg x amount of time for hobbies etc etc
I think she will feel better once the lighter nights come in but she is finding it a bit difficult at the moment.
Thanks in advance….

That worries me a little about when I retire as I do like to stay in bed with coffee, radio, phone and book when given the opportunity. I think I will need to make sure that at least 4 days a week I have a reason to be up and out by at least mid morning. Maybe book an exercise class, volunteer somewhere, arrange to meet somebody etc.

Has she just retired as January is a bad time for doing stuff anyway, dark, cold, not many have much money, it's very hard to do much at all, the last week or so I have barely been out

I'm sort of semi retired on ill health, I think it can help to get out for a bit of the day or it can be quite a long time at home.

Mine is health dependant (I often spend whole days in bed) but when feeling Ok try to go to a couple of classes a week (such as yoga or aqua aerobics) and a couple of walks a week in the local park, then have a day to meet a relative for coffee / lunch.

I get shopping delivered online on the same weekday each week, so have the weekend free for family stuff.

But it is flexible so if I need to I can stay home. She could look into courses / classes on locally (I got a council sports centre membership and it is around £30 a month which is good value)

Another thing I like and sometimes do is the Cinema does silver screen showings of the latest films at good prices during the daytime. with tea and biscuits.

Why? You've worked all your life, if you enjoy staying in bed like that what's wrong with it? Why is getting up early always seen as virtuous🤷‍♂️ so long as your not staying in bed because your depressed!

I've gone against my natural inclination all my working life 🦉so if I want to stay up watching back to back the split, knit, doom scroll and go to bed at 2.00am and not get up til late then I will (that's what I did Sunday😂no Monday blues). I also hate the cold so really happy to be able hibernate through the recent cold spell and not be scraping ice off the car at 7.00am.😌

The dark mornings and evenings can be so demotivating and I am like your friend and tempted to just be cosy and relaxed at home but it ends up being unsatisfying and I miss seeing people. What works for us is having a few set things in the week that we are committed to so have to get going even if we don’t feel like it. Then I usually come home more energised and glad to have the stimulation of social connections.

Could she make a big list of all the thins she loves and then invite various friends to do stuff with her regularly or join some classes or U3A? I do nature conservation volunteering, choir, music, gardening, dog walking, pilates on three days then see friends and family or have calm downtime on the other days.

I think writing herself a balanced plan with some exercise, jobs, social stuff and hobbies will help her have things to look forward to. It’s hard to always have to initiate meetups all the time and lovely when they just happen regularly in my opinion.

Wake at 9 tea in bed. Get up 10 . Do housework or paperwork., laundry. Go for a walk . Just around the block at this time of year. Park or gardens in summer. 1 o’clock DH cooks brunch. All afternoon I paint until 6 then I cook dinner.

I'm not productive. I don't get up early unless I want to. I stay up really late. I have a sort of structure in that a couple of days a week I have activities, I exercise a bit every day (or, often, night), and I eat dinner with my husband most evenings, but that's it.

I travel when the mood takes me, I read for hours if I want, I meet friends when I like, I book tickets for things last minute, or at random times, essentially I do things I enjoy when I want, without guilt.

I worked for 51 years, and I am thoroughly enjoying a self-indulgent retirement. I deserve it.

I mean, I'm planning that my retirement gift to myself will be a teasmade and a bigger bedside table to sit it on - what's wrong with being a bit lazy for what I assume is the first time in her life? I can't wait...

I don’t structure my day but I do structure my week. If I know I have to be up for Pilates on Tuesday and Keep Fit on Wednesday then I can feel totally relaxed about having a lie in and slobbing the day away on Thursday.

I have a structure to my week but also have some lazy mornings. I reckon I’ve earned them.
Reading in bed in the morning is the greatest luxury ever.

I volunteer for a few hours two mornings a week and go to art and language classes on 3 afternoons/evenings so I have something most days plus fitting in the gym/dogs/partner/friends/garden and a million appointments for my elderly mother.

The winter can be tough though and it took me the first year at least to get some kind of rhythm back into my life,

Thanks - some great responses so far- that’s a very good point about not feeling guilty! I will say that to her!

This is such a great time of year to be able to sleep in and snuggle in bed with tea and a book till a lunchtime walk!

I think it’s fine to be a bit lazy just as long as she is getting daily exercise, maybe suggest she starts following some interesting podcasts and listen to them while going for walks, I think it makes exercise and walking a lot more enjoyable.

Has she been interested in painting / crafting in the past, if so she could take it up again and even make some money from it, she could start a small business and this might keep her motivated

I agree with @Mossstitch

I am naturally a night owl.
I've spent 45 years as an adult getting up hours before I want to.

This is my time. I have earned these lie-ins.

I have some structure in my week with things I go to, but some of them are evening things, and some of the others don't involve early mornings.

However, I am really enjoying no longer being dictated to by anyone what time I need to be up, what time I need to eat, and what time I need to go out.

No need to feel guilty in my view. I’ve worked really hard for more than 40 years without a break. And now I’m able to have some ‘me’ time. I can stay up late reading, watching telly, improving my Photoshop skills or scrolling through Mumsnet threads. I can get up late and spend the morning pottering around the house in my PJs. I really enjoy and appreciate all of these things.

But I also like some structure on some days. Twice a week I volunteer for a local charity. I’m membership secretary for my choir. I volunteer for another outdoors charity. I regularly go out for walks, meet up with friends for coffee, visit family and have days out.

The balance works for me. I certainly don’t want to swap one 9-5 existence for another sort of straitjacket!

My DDad retired early (over a decade ago), and loved the freedom for the first few years but then started to get a bit antsy. He took up a busy volunteer role but still felt something was missing, so decided to become a bit of autodidact. He was never much of a reader when he was younger but he now gets up each morning and spends two hours reading whatever his latest non-fiction book is, treating it like a course of study. As a result he has a fixed ‘obligation’ to focus his mind at the start of each day as well keeping up to date with the latest political and sociological debates. He’s also got involved with the local literary society and him and my DM attend lots of readings and talks, which has let to new friendships.

I've been retired for three years now. I live on my own so am able to order my own life.
By nature I don't sleep in, though sleep longer in the darker mornings, but never later than 7.00.
Pre-retirement I planned once-a-week volunteer work with an intellectual bias, to keep me on my toes. I'm in a book club and literary society that meet monthly.
Walking my dog twice a day is non-negotiable, and they are proper long walks as he is an active breed.
I don't food shop online and all meals are cooked from scratch.
Lots of gardening to keep on top of, though I'm trying to scale it back.

As you can see, much is about day-to-day life, and it's more time-consuming when you're on your own.

I calendar every engagement, both a manual one on the kitchen wall and electronic so that I can avoid overfilling my time.

Your friend shouldn't feel guilty about the lie-ins though.

It's a bad time of year and the weather has been worse than average in the last few weeks so I haven't been doing much to be honest. In better weather I go out either for a walk, a bike ride or sometimes both every day plus I do some volunteering that is largely outdoors but that also tails off during the winter months. Between the weather and the fact I'm recovering from recent surgery I will admit I have been spending a lot of time in my pyjamas, watching rubbish tv, reading Mumsnet or playing computer games etc recently. Not very productive, but I don't feel particularly guilty about it. I will be busy again soon enough. I discovered that there was a whole world that I didn't know existed when I stopped working. Hopefully your friend can find something like classes, clubs or voluntary work that is of interest to her. It will be a lot easier in the Spring once the days are longer and the weather better, but for now if she wants long lie ins and some downtime, there's nothing wrong with that!

I am so jealous of all of you who have retired!!

I am so over working for a living but I have another 5 years to go until state pension and I can't afford to just retire. My hateful manager has thwarted my request for partial retirement. I want to stay up late and nights and sleep all morning and I really won't mind the lack of a routine.

I have never been good with routine anyway!

*at

Like I am obviously doing tonight lol! I am just not ready to sleep yet!

I’m retired. One of the joys for me is not having to get up in the morning, until I’m ready. I’m retired, I’ve been getting up with kids and for work for years. I now luxuriate in the knowledge that I can have two coffees and take it nice and easy.

Some days yes, others no. I do pilates and yoga, go to a book club and do some volunteering, so those days definitely have structure. Others I take it as it comes. I'm currently on holiday in Goa, so the structure is breakfast, beach, lunch, beach, shower, cocktail, dinner and sleep. Rinse and repeat. Very structured and very tough

I have voluntary work and hobby groups for socialising plus DH has just retired though he is also occupied as he is a visiting academic and still an external examiner and doing some marking and teaching ad hoc.

Today was a typical day for when I’m by myself in the daytime.

Walk for an hour, volunteer for the morning, watched a horror film, three lots of stretching exercises through the day, do a couple of minor chores. Had a chat to my friend on the phone for 30 mins, read a couple of short poems. Cooked and had dinner with DH and DS, chat for a while and watch some tv together, play on my Xbox, I’m actually up really late as I just stayed up to do a new mission released in a game with some American friends. I also look at MN.

I'm not productive. I don't get up early unless I want to. I stay up really late. I have a sort of structure in that a couple of days a week I have activities, I exercise a bit every day (or, often, night), and I eat dinner with my husband most evenings, but that's it.

I travel when the mood takes me, I read for hours if I want, I meet friends when I like, I book tickets for things last minute, or at random times, essentially I do things I enjoy when I want, without guilt.

I worked for 51 years, and I am thoroughly enjoying a self-indulgent retirement. I deserve
^
Star post, love it

I read from 7 - 8 am, then get up, have breakfast and spend time on the computer so am often not having a shower and dressing until 10 am. I usually go for a long walk in the morning, have lunch, often go for another walk, potter around and suddenly it's time for the 6 pm news! It's summer here so I sometimes go for another long walk in the evenings with a neighbour. I go to bed around 10 - 11 pm and read some more. I meet friends for coffee or lunch now and again, and we chat for hours.

That doesn't look as though I do much, but the days just fly past - and I'm not looking at the clock every 10 minutes as I did when I was working!

Btw I do have a list of things I want to do but never seem to find the time to get around to starting.