Alternative to flowers after a bereavement

[PatheticDistraction]

Has anyone got any recommendations for a luxury care package or any alternative to sending flowers to someone who has miscarried?

I've looked at the 'Don't buy her flowers' etc sites - but they feel a little naff & not quite right.

Any suggestions welcome!

Tread carefully, after mine I didn't want any reminders however sweet the intention was

Thank you, yes we've spoken at length & she mentioned how hurtful it was last time, when no one acknowledged her loss - so I would really like to do something for her

Something to eat? You can choose what to put in a hamper with this company https://www.britishfinefoods.com/product/the-artisan-hamper/. I sent one to my DD at university last week so can vouch for the company.

How about biscuit flowers from the biscuiteers? In the personalised section, the peonies are pretty and you could personalise the vase with ‘thinking if you’ or ‘sending love’ or similar.
I’ve had their biscuits. They’re lovely.

A massage voucher she can use at any point? Or just a thoughtful card reminding her she can talk to you.

Cards really helped me and actually I really appreciated the flowers I received. I only got one bunch though, maybe would have felt differently if it was like 5. Definitely no remembrance stuff. I wouldn’t have wanted that and I would have just shoved it in a drawer and then binned it one day.

Gimmee Brownies are wonderful. Like they are fantastic brownies. And it’s a great little company. I received some as a thank you and I’ve sent them for similar occasions.

I received some cards, an angel pin (which I loved). A light up balloon glass ornament that I have hanging up and Yankee candle with angel wings.

All appreciated 💕

Donate to a. Related charity in their name

I would not have wanted anything. Or even anyone talking about it tbh.

But since she's the opposite, something nice to eat. Doesn't have to be anything too extravagant, just to show you care.

A box from Cook.

Yes, Cook vouchers or similar.

I hated the cards. I know they were sent with the best of intentions, but opening cards reminding me “yes, your mum is still gone” every time the post came was horrible.

I’d have appreciated a Cook voucher or similar when I CBA to cook a meal.

A voucher for a restaurant that delivers? We did this after a family member had a traumatic bereavement and they were grateful - meant they could use it whenever they wanted and get a nice meal without having to cook or go out at a time when they didn’t feel up to it.

When this happened to a friend of mine I just did the five-star version of a small weekly shop and went round with it to give her a hug. She wasn’t up to going shopping and wouldn’t get fancier things normally. I wanted her to feel looked after and comforted without it being awkward or too ‘special’.

After my brother died, a very kind friend gave me a ginormous bag of epsom salts to put in my bath. Initially I was surprised at the choice of gift, but it made me take baths, which strangely helped me in my grieving process.

Or vouchers so she can choose her own meals. I've had this and it's been so nice on those days neither of us wanted to cook

I don't think any kind of gift apart from perhaps flowers is appropriate under the circumstances.

I sent friends a box of good biscuits ,tea and coffee as they had a stream of people visiting to pay their respects .

Thank you - we're close and when I visited her after another loss, she mentioned being sad at having to throw out flowers when they died - but I do appreciate it makes finding an appropriate alternative difficult

Back in my day they didn't have the likes of neom bedtime sprays and products like with lavender or chamomile etc that to help encourage restful sleep. I'd have liked that. Sleep is an escape from reality. You always feel better prepared to face the trauma of the day when you're well rested.

A pot plant?

Do you think she actually wants a gift?

I like candles. Didn't have to be fancy. But lighting candles, despite not being religious at all, has always been a ritual for me when I've had losses.

My friend had terminal cancer and I had the same issue, what to get that says we are thinking about you . I found a site that sent items bearing the slogan, no words just hugs. I chose a candle and my friend loved it and the sentiment.

I think cook vouchers or some sleep aid options might be the best plans. There are lovely smelling pillow sprays/bubble bath, even maybe things like a cool bead eye mask (keep in the fridge, I have got them from TK max before) or those warming ones might also be nice.

I think flowers aren't the best option after a bereavement. I've seen people inundated, running out of vases, then having to throw them out. They're something else to have to deal with at a time when breathing and keeping going is more than enough to handle.