Page 2 | Alternative to flowers after a bereavement

PatheticDistraction · 2025-01-14T16:36:33+00:00

Has anyone got any recommendations for a luxury care package or any alternative to sending flowers to someone who has miscarried? I've looked at the 'Don't buy her flowers' etc sites - but they feel a little naff & not quite right. Any suggestions welcome!

LostittoBostik · 14/01/2025 20:16

A card and book.

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 14/01/2025 20:17

I would not send anything except maybe a card saying how sorry you are.

LostittoBostik · 14/01/2025 20:17

Viviennemary · 14/01/2025 18:07

I don't think any kind of gift apart from perhaps flowers is appropriate under the circumstances.

This thread shows otherwise, doesn't it?

WhitegreeNcandle · 14/01/2025 20:19

PatheticDistraction · 14/01/2025 19:59

Thank you - we're close and when I visited her after another loss, she mentioned being sad at having to throw out flowers when they died - but I do appreciate it makes finding an appropriate alternative difficult

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This would only work in specific circumstances with the right person but what about a sapling?

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 14/01/2025 20:20

PatheticDistraction · 14/01/2025 19:59

Thank you - we're close and when I visited her after another loss, she mentioned being sad at having to throw out flowers when they died - but I do appreciate it makes finding an appropriate alternative difficult

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In that case perhaps a plant would be welcome, maybe a rose for her garden if she has one.

Merrygoround8 · 14/01/2025 20:22

I received a Hallby letterbox gift box after getting sad news once and it was lovely.

I also had a friend send me a yard of Jaffa cakes 😅 perhaps not appropriate here but it did make me smile (I am known to adore Jaffa cakes) xx

Original poster

PatheticDistraction · 14/01/2025 20:23

verycloakanddaggers · 14/01/2025 20:01

A pot plant?

Do you think she actually wants a gift?

Yes I do, knowing her I think a gift would be appreciated.

OP posts:

Magicmagician · 14/01/2025 20:24

I’ve sent brownies in the past, M&S do nice postbox ones or there are independent companies like gower cottage. With a nice message I think it shows you’re thinking of them but without sending flowers which some don’t like

WEB83 · 14/01/2025 20:27

What about a rose bush if she has a garden at her property? There are some really beautiful roses from David Austin website, she can watch it grow and nurture it

Judellie · 14/01/2025 20:29

Some lovely food suggestions here. Flowers ultimately go in the bin so I understand why she wouldn't want them.

Floranan · 14/01/2025 20:35

When I lost my little boy I was 30 weeks, my dad bought me a little white teddy, a small one just big enough to cuddle but small enough that it could sit on my dressing table where it is now 28 years later.

at the time I didn’t know what to think, I got flowers and chocolates and sympathy but I didn’t want any of it. I put my teddy in my wardrobe and he stayed there for a couple of years then suddenly he was needed. His name’s Edward .

tolerable · 14/01/2025 20:41

perhaps a bracelet-with two charms?/representative.
she may not wear it-ever-but unlikely throw out?

coodawoodashooda · 14/01/2025 21:44

Floranan · 14/01/2025 20:35

When I lost my little boy I was 30 weeks, my dad bought me a little white teddy, a small one just big enough to cuddle but small enough that it could sit on my dressing table where it is now 28 years later.

at the time I didn’t know what to think, I got flowers and chocolates and sympathy but I didn’t want any of it. I put my teddy in my wardrobe and he stayed there for a couple of years then suddenly he was needed. His name’s Edward .

You have a kind Dad. xxx

Soontobe60 · 14/01/2025 21:46

PatheticDistraction · 14/01/2025 19:59

Thank you - we're close and when I visited her after another loss, she mentioned being sad at having to throw out flowers when they died - but I do appreciate it makes finding an appropriate alternative difficult

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How about a nice plant then?

POTC · 14/01/2025 21:47

PatheticDistraction · 14/01/2025 19:59

Thank you - we're close and when I visited her after another loss, she mentioned being sad at having to throw out flowers when they died - but I do appreciate it makes finding an appropriate alternative difficult

Show quote history

Paper flowers, I have a friend who creates them and they are amazing. She made some when an MN friend lost her partner in the past

BaldingsBeaver · 14/01/2025 21:48

Spa day but it'll be a few hundred quid. Wouldnt bother with anything else.

mondaytosunday · 14/01/2025 21:49

I thing a rose bush or something - I know it's close to flowers but it's something permanent.

AuntieMarys · 14/01/2025 22:28

Turophilic · 14/01/2025 17:47

I hated the cards. I know they were sent with the best of intentions, but opening cards reminding me “yes, your mum is still gone” every time the post came was horrible.

I’d have appreciated a Cook voucher or similar when I CBA to cook a meal.

My ds died suddenly last autumn and I specifically said no cards or flowers. But a dear friend sent me Cook food, and another a cheese hamper. Perfect.