What’s the worst thing you’ve accidentally eaten?

[Soubriquet]

I was sat in bed watching a film and munching on some popcorn. Saw what I thought was a little bit on the bed so I picked it up and put it in my mouth.

It was cat litter…. I don’t think I’ve ever scrubbed my mouth so hard with my toothbrush before

When DD was about 6 weeks old she dropped her dummy in a cafe. It bounced on the buggy wheel before landing on the floor. I absent-minded popped it in my mouth to clean it, and subsequently put dog shit in my actual mouth.

Rest assured I rushed to the toilets, binned the dummy, rinsed my mouth out with alcohol gel, and DH found the whole thing hilarious and reminds me of it often, 5 years later 😳🙈

Grabbed a bottle of coke with brown liquid in it assuming it is coca cola indeed.. Turned out it was brown water used by mu ex to spit chewed tobacco in it.. Can still feel the taste

DH has form for coming home a bit the worse for wear after a night out and has twice now eaten cat food off the side (once dry stuff from a packet, once wet. Don't know how he managed that. )
He said it was curiously tasteless.

Weirdly enough, I’ve often wondered how cat foods tastes as sometimes it does smell really nice.

Glad someone can say it’s tasteless

My mum was haphazardly making breakfast for us kids, herself, cuppa tea. Feeding the cats some tinned jelly cat food.
after we had left the house to catch the school bus she was tidying up, saw a bit of marmalade on the chopping board from her toast and picked it up and ate it. It was cat food jelly.

Filled a bottle with pool water on holiday to wash my flip flops. Reached for a drink and accidentally took a big gulp of the pool water instead 🤢

Marmite.

In one of my earliest most traumatic childhood memories, I started a new pre-school. I went for a 'taster session' (an apt phrase considering what happened) and at lunchtime they brought out cheese sandwiches and chocolate spread sandwiches, cut into little fingers.

It wasn't chocolate spread.

To this day, I can still detect a microgram of Marmite in anything I eat and it makes me feel sick

A daddy long legs! It took a death dive into my cup of tea without me noticing, half went down with my slurp 🤮

Ants in the bottom of a pringles tub. Went to pour the crumbs from the bottom of my tub straight into my mouth and ants had crawled into the tub withoutme realising! I'll never forget that!

A colleague’s Fisherman’s Friend.

We were manning a stand at a conference and at the end of the last day someone on another stand wandered round offering slices of cake. I took one and then saw what I thought was a pistachio on the side of the plate and put that in my mouth before spitting it out.

It turned out to be the Fisherman’s Friend that my colleague had been sucking but taken out and left on the side of the plate so as not to spoil his cake!

On holiday in Normandy as a child I ordered something off the menu but I had no idea what. The menu was in French, no Google Translate back then. It was Chitterlings, and they were gross. The French have some odd food.

I didn't know what chitterlings were in English, never mind French!
They are up there with tripe.

Not me but a retiring cabin assistant being interviewed on the radio was asked about the worst things that had happened to her during a long career . These included that a passenger had once complained to her that the meat chunks in his aeroplane meal were too tough to eat . In a jokey way the cabin assistant took one from his plate , chewed it a couple of times & swallowed it ‘ That seemed fine to me ‘ she smiled . That’s the one I’d already chewed & spat out said the passenger .

Many years ago a very shortsighted friend , ‘Amanda ‘, made a group of us a chicken roast ( without her contact lenses in ) . It was delicious . Near the end of lunch I peered hard at the Paxo stuffing & said ‘ this doesn’t look right ‘ …
We fished the stuffing box out of the bin - between the paper lining and the box remained many , many , MANY maggots whose pals had clearly eaten & digested the stuffing before Amanda had tipped them in a bowl & poured boiling water on them as per the packet instructions… ‘I thought it moved about a bit ‘ she said thoughtfully….🤢