What’s the worst thing you’ve accidentally eaten?

[Soubriquet]

I was sat in bed watching a film and munching on some popcorn. Saw what I thought was a little bit on the bed so I picked it up and put it in my mouth.

It was cat litter…. I don’t think I’ve ever scrubbed my mouth so hard with my toothbrush before

Is it wrong to want a description?

I lived abroad when younger.

Drinking tea, I felt something in my mouth- it was a dead cockroach!

I was chopping chocolate and nibbling on the shards. 1 piece didn't melt, despite rolling it around my mouth. When I removed it- whatever bug it was crawled slowly away across the bench! It wasn't chocolate!😱

Urgh there's a lot of 💩 and bogeys on here and pet juice/crust. 🤮

I feel very fortunate that none of these has happened to me!

The pot pourri one reminds me of dinnerladies....

"His auntie Dot from Cockermouth ate a raffia drinks coaster. She thought it was a high fibre biscuit. She had to be held back from moving down the table and buttering two more." 😂

An colourful ear plug.. thought it was a pick n mix sweet.
Took it out my mouth when it hadn't changed shape.
And I'd used it the night before.🤮

Your dog is a pyschopath

Baby DD puked. It went on the back of my hand. Without thinking I licked it off my hand. Cold sweet potato puree sick. YUM!

A nit louse I'd pulled off my hair. I can't remember what I thought it was, but I vividly remember realising what it was when it crunched in my teeth. When I checked to confirm what was in my hand, it was a giant one with a belly full of blood bitten in half...

Very similar happened to me, but the fresh orange juice I rather fancied was a glass of egg yolk left over from making meringues.

I still can't eat runny eggs in any form

These are making me laugh so much!
My contribution, actually not me but my DP. He was in the habit of finishing up our baby daughter's food from her plate after she'd finished. One time, he started shovelling it in when he realised she'd actually sicked up the food back onto the plate and because it was a sloppy type stew he hadn't noticed 😷

@PoisonRain I've never heard anyone, apart from my step dad, use the word bonce.

Not long ago a dog ate some poo, then licked me inside my mouth very shortly after!! 🤢

She certainly was. Been gone 5 years now, she was a murderous working terrier.

My current two are far nicer.

I did this and fed it to my visiting friends too. Everyone was too polite to comment on the slightly peculiar taste… until I realised, just as we reached the last few mouthfuls! Luckily all still present 😀

Not sure if this counts but not long ago, one of my children came to stand over me in bed, in the middle of the night. They had come to tell me they were going to be sick. I was still 95% asleep when they vomited all over my face and into my mouth.

I once cooked a pizza on its base, thought it was lots of lovely melted cheese when I tried to lift it off the tray. The strong smell of melted plastic stopped me eating it though.

How I wish I hadn't opened this thread. I was going to say coleslaw that was over two weeks past its use by date, but Christ, there are bogeys and spiders and balls of poo🤢 I feel I got off lightly.

I made an apple cake, but I couldn’t get the bloody thing to set in the middle no matter how much longer I gave it in the oven. So I thought I’d eat it as a pudding, heating a serving in the microwave with cream on top. It was a bit weird tasting I admit but I went for several days eating it, till one day I noticed a bit of mould as I was spooning it to my gob. When I checked the underside of the “cake” it was solid green mould. It was a penicillin factory in a cake tin.

Recently also, I must have had a bit of a mental health episode as I refused to give up on a large pack of wafer thin chicken that was far past its expiry date. It was actually rotting from within but as it cost me £4 I simply refused to give up on it. How did I not get salmonella from that 🤨

The contents of a patient's surgical drain. It exploded on me.

Haha this thread is brilliant! I'm so surprised to find I'm the not the only one who 'cleans up' by eating 'bits'

My Dad used an empty can of Dr Pepper as an ash tray. I didn't realise and took a swig - this was over 30 years ago and have never had Dr Pepper since.

Also, half a rotten tangerine with tiny white maggots in it. I started eating it in a darkened room and only realised after I turned the light on

Ha ha! Just tonight! I'd been finishing sorting dinner out to put in the oven, Lancashire hotpot and some of the gravy splashed on the back of my hand, so I licked it off...
Fast forward ten minutes and I'm feeding the cats, opened the first pouch of fish flakes in jelly and some splashed up onto the back of my hand... And you guessed it!!! I don't think I've drunk so much water in such a quick amount of time!!! It wasn't much, but still! 🤢🤢🤢

Washing up liquid thst someone had helpfully decanted into a drinks bottle on a camping trip. Burned like he'll, i thought i was dying!

Walnut fly larvae. Disgusting maggoty looking things that hatch inside walnut shells, especially ones bought in Lidl c.Dec 2023. Don't ever eat nuts without paying attention 🤮🤮🤮

Cigarette butts. Someone decided to dispose of them by pushing them into the middle of a sandwich, which I then lifted and took a bite from. Grim.