What's the best thing about being a mum?

[overthinkersanonnymus]

Hi everyone, I was hoping you could give me some rays of sunshine and encouragement.

My partner and I have ttc for 3 years and have a diagnosis of unexplained infertility. We now have some serious thinking to do about going down the IVF road.

I'm scared and I don't know if I want to do that. The drugs, the operations etc it's all too much for my anxiety, but we want a family.

In my time of wobbling, please can you tell me your best bits about beings a mum so I can get myself out of this scared funk!

Thank you x

My 1 year old reaching up with her tiny star fish hand to hold mine to walk along the road.

My 4 year old telling me jokes I haven’t heard before (funny ones!) and facts about animals!

My 1 year old resting her head on my shoulder for snuggles when I pick her up.

My 4 year old running over to kiss sore bits better on his little sister and telling her he loves her.

its THE BEST. Love being a muma

I loved being a mum but the best bit is the grandchildren and great grandchild.

The huge smiles when you walk back in the room. Like you've just made their day. 😊

That is very cute

I've gone through it successfully and in my experience, the physical side of it wasn't that bad. You feel like you're "doing" something. It's the emotional side and worrying, waiting that I found hard. Plus obviously disappointment and not knowing what to do if success doesn't happen straight away.

Best of luck but try not to be scared of the physical side!

All the firsts. When they smile, put up their arms to be lifted, tell you they love you.

Seeing them go from being a tiny baby, incapable of doing anything for themselves, to running, jumping and having (lots of!) their own opinions.

All the best OP, I really hope it all works out.

My 2 year old calling me mummy pig (Peppa pig)

Telling me bye bye see you later, sweet dreams at bedtime

Giving me a frown side eye then a massive smile

Grabbing my face to give me a kiss on my lips

Stroking my hair

Holding my hand when watching tv in bed together

Pushing his bum into me to spoon

There is no other love like it and my life wouldn't be complete without him

Being told every day by my 6yo that she loves me more than I love her. Massively untrue but we share a beautiful bond. She's the only one who can break down my walls.

It’s the most difficult and rewarding thing I’ve ever done. Littles are adorable, which goes without saying. But however difficult my teenagers are (and they really are!!) they are the best company and turning into amazing young adults.

Good luck op 💐

I have never felt love from anyone not even my own mum or her dad like my daughter loves me. It's the only true love of my life. She is 14 now.
She always picked me wild flowers and gave me little gifts of what she made, drawings, crafts...etc as soon as she was physicall able to. She kept me going and staying alive when i didn't want to but... i have regretted bringing her into this horrible world and the anxiety of something bad happening to her is daily.
It's the greatest love and the greatest worry. I never stop thinking and worrying about her even if I get a babysitter I can never sleep as deeply or party as carefree as before having her.

I had IVF for my boy (unexplained fertility) and it was fine. The most annoying thing was having to wait for everything. The drugs were fine, the procedures were fine (actually enjoyed being knocked out for egg collection, didn't feel a thing).

The best thing about being a mum is having this little person that totally loves you and you are his everything.

I hope you get what you want and sorry you've had a hard time TTC, it's a club no one wants to be in.

With respect, this is quite extreme and I think you might need support with your anxiety.

I'm only 3 years in with my IVF kid but:

-Hearing them belly laugh
-Watching them learn things
-The cute way they talk
-classic kid stuff like sledging, and Christmas morning. They are my oh-my-god-I'm-a-mum-and-this-this-is-their-childhood moments.

Good luck with it all if that is the path you take. I wouldn't do IVF again but would do it endlessly for the child I have, if that makes any sense.

Hearing 'i love you mummy' and 'you're my best friend' 100 times a day. The cuddles, watching them grow and develop their own personality. Just everything!
I'm an IVF mum for my 1st baby and had the shock of my life when I fell pregnant wirh 2nd baby.
I won't lie, it's stressful, painful and not an enjoyable process. However it's a short moment in time that is so worth it. I appreciate I was lucky and this would be a totally different experience if it didn't work for us, but if you don't try you'll never know!

Time over again I wouldn't have any...you give your life to them basically. They grow up, forget everything you taught them and leave you behind. I will never understand it, forgive it or forget it....simple as that. Life is short.....go traveling, see the world, make memories, clear your bucket list, do everything you would ever wish to do without any regrets before it's all too late.

My30 year old giving me a hug. Still special even though he's all grown up

Being a parent is relentless…you worry about them forever. They make a huge mess of living space and life in general.They fall over and you inwardly cry, learn to ride a bike and you bring out the flags. They turn life upside down in every way imaginable.

they smile at you and you forget the 4am wake up. You see life through their eyes.. Santa “, tooth fairy, Easter bunny - they believe in magic and you want to make it happen.

Also you get asked if kissing naked is sex and have the conversation… and then how to deal with uni applications , relationships and how to save/buy a house . And young adults are absolutely self centred and selfish… washing anything is something a parent does

being a parent is a journey, it’s not easy and it’s not for everyone. If you want to, I hope it happens for you

Mine are older now, heading to their teens, and my god, it’s a privilege to watch them grow and see the people they’re becoming. A little bit me, a little bit DH - but mostly entirely uniquely themselves.

I love the toddler smiles and chubby cheeks. The way they come and Cuddle you and make cute sounds before they can speak.

It’s not for the faint hearted but if you raise them right and invest in them, there is nothing like watching them grow up. I’ve had the most insightful conversations with my daughter - their curiosity is fascinating. It’s nice when they remind you that they are listening (and watching) when they do something that you’ve taught them.

The house is never quiet. You are never alone. There is always something funny (or something that makes you crazy mad) but if you like a busy house and have the energy, it’s worth it.

Good luck xxx

Ive had ivf for both my boys. Would I do it again 100 per cent. The physical side of going through ivf was fine. It's the emotional side, the waiting around, the anxiety if it's going to work. Unfortunately my first fresh transfer ended in a missed miscarriage at 12 weeks and it was a very hard time. I was very depressed. My second round was successful and my third transfer for my second was successful.

If you do decide to go ahead make a decision beforehand how much money you are willing to spend and consider how you would feel if it doesn't work. I always describe ivf as not a treatment for infertility but a diagnosis procedure that may end up in success. You may go the through ivf and spend a lot of money and give up a lot emotionally and not have a baby at the end. Many women are in this position.

Would I do it again 100 per cent but I say that from my happy ending. Parenting gives you the highest highs of your life just from the little kisses they give you or when they do something for the first time like saying mumma. But also the lowest moments of your life like when they are sick /or your juggling work and family life and some days are just really tough and overwhelming.

I don't know if I could pick a single "best" bit. There have been so many things. The snuggles when dd was a baby, the hilarious/adorable things she used to say as a toddler, the loving little notes that she used to write for me when she was at primary school, the emerging wit and wisdom of her teenage years. I've loved them all.

More than anything, perhaps, I think I am now enjoying the deep and enduring bond that I have with the young woman who is, at least to me, the most fabulous person on the planet. I am in awe of the person that she has become, bursting with pride and filled with gratitude. She is brilliant company. She makes me laugh more than anyone I know, she has the power to pull me out of a funk when nobody else can, and she inspires me with the way she lives her own life to do a better job of living mine. It has been an absolute honour and privilege to be her mum - the very best thing in a life that has happily been full of good things.

I wish you all the very best for your journey, OP.

That's beautiful. I wish you were my mum now 😂😂

I got pregnant through IVF, it's a tough journey but no more awful than ttc so in some respects you've already been through the worst to get here.

I had twins, one girl one boy. Even in the worst of times i cannot believe how lucky I was. They are totally different but so close, like peas in a pod. Extremely creative and funny and bright and like the best bits of me merged with DH, I feel like we have helped the evolution of humans by creating these better versions! I feel so proud for my role in it, whatever that may have been. When they are doing their things, playing a match or performing on stage or whatever I feel like my heart could explode.

I wish you the very best of luck OP

My grandsons! I love them more than I ever knew it was possible