How quickly can you get your dc from school?

[elliejjtiny]

Normally we are 5-10 minutes away from primary school in the car and 10-15 minutes away from secondary school depending on the traffic. Today we got a phone call from the secondary school saying after school activity has finished 30 minutes early because the teacher had an emergency. Can we please come and get dc3 and dc4 straight away. Dh unfortunately can't because he is picking up dc from college, he will be there in 30 minutes. I have a SEN child at home and can't drive. So I could come but dh would be quicker. Pil are 2nd contact but they live 30 minutes away. School were not impressed with us but I don't know what else I could have done. I don't have any friends who could pick them up and look after them at that short notice.

I feel so bad for abandoning them but I can't think of anything else I could have done. All the dc go to the nearest schools/college.

When I’m home I can normally get to my child’s school in 10 - 20 mins. But I’m often over an hour away and the school (and my kid!) would just have to wait. My kids’ primary school had in their policies or home school agreement or something that parents had to provide a contact who could be at the school in 30 mins but they could also say that parents have to wear tiaras, they don’t have the authority for it.

I can see that it’s a hard situation with after school activities and that parents being unable to pick children up if the school can’t provide a back up to take over supervision might make teachers reluctant to do after school activities. But it’s not something they can do anything other than tut over in the moment and I don’t think it’s practical to rely on parents always being able to pick up early.

We live 5 minutes walk from school, but my commute is an hour to work when I go into the office. So it would depend on whether it's a WFH day or not! In an emergency I'd get a taxi and could be there in half an hour. DP works 15 minutes away from the school, but spends most of his work time out away from the office, so he would have to get back to his office, pick up the car, and drive all of which could easily take half an hour.

I’m 25 mins away if I’m at home, more if it’s rush hour. 40 mins if I’m at work.

DH would be 2hrs away. Anyone else would be at least 30+ mins.

When I get the call to pick up I explain that I’m a distance away but on my way. It’s never once been an issue.

Our school says they expect kids to be picked up within half an hour so if we work more than half an hour away we need a plan B or C.

Well they can expect what they like, doesn't mean it's reasonable or possible. Many people have no help from anyone, or they don't have anyone that lives or works within 30 mins of the school. And you can't pay for childcare that does random short notice immediate pick ups.

OP assuming your children's SEN is such that they couldn't have just come home themselves (my DS is ASC and ADHD and was getting himself to and from school at 11 so it really does depend) the school are being unreasonable to be funny with you. You couldn't get there in that time frame. Not sure what they expected you do, teleport?

If at home. 5 mins for both primary and secondary. If at work my husband could get there in 15 but if he is in the shop alone that would involve closing the shop and potentially facing a disciplinary so in an emergency, absolutely but if it weren't then probably need to organise cover ect first.

My work 20 minutes but again, depending on situation. I am a midwife and if looking after someone in labour I would need to organise someone to take over, handover, get dressed. Looking at 45 minutes minimum. Nearest family 45 minute drive during school hours. No neighbours to help. Luckily never been in that situation in the last 11 years.

DD walks 30-40 minutes. Or if there really would be an issue she would stay in town until I manage to get home from work and collect her. She has enough funds on her account to pay a train/bus and for emergency multiple hot chocolates and cakes.

DD takes a bus into town once a week after school finishes at 1.15pm (6th form) for a set appointment a 4pm. She goes to Costa for lunch and then to the library to do homework (in winter) or a local park to read (in Summer).

Secondary school is about to make them be independent. That includes for parents not being able to be at the school immediately for pick up. So they need to be having the options to go somewhere to wait and be comfortable.

@reluctantbrit walk 2hours, partially along a duel carriageway? Nope. Not a chance.

I've looked up a couple of the (large) villages the school serves. There isnt even a bus service. And I can guarantee you, tesco will freak out if more than 3 kids try to enter the store together.

It's great you've found a solution that works for you. Not all schools are so blessed with transport options, or coffee shop options, or public library options.
I really think people need to accept that not everywhere is so wonderfully connected with such possibilities.

Even if you're a stay at home parents you're not obliged stay local just in case. Many of us don't have local contacts either, our emergency contacts are several hours away because they are the only ones we have.

TheYearOfSmallThings · Yesterday 19:52

But you've described completely different scenarios to that of elliejjtiny, haven't you? She and her children were let down by the school, which was disapproving and tried to lay the blame at her feet.

She had no way to predict that the activity would finish early and that she'd have to collect her children early.

10-15 drive from secondary school is walking distance and secondary age children are more than old enough to walk themselves home, surely?

I’ve never been too far away from school, although if working can’t necessarily just drop everything and leave immediately. But we live in a large city with bad traffic and I think many parents would take longer to get there than that.

Yes I found primary school seemed to expect mums to be camped outside the school all day on the off chance their child needs to be picked up...I dropped my dc off once and got a call to say they'd been sick....I wasn't working but was half an hour away... school secretary seemed really put out and shocked that I'd be there in half an hour to collect them.

Plot twist....my dc wasn't even sick, she had called the wrong mum

I work about 30 minutes drive away so OH is the first contact for school (at least he's supposed to be...nursery still usually called me first), if he's at home he's 5-10 minutes away but if he's working he could be anywhere. But this time of year his van engine needs heating for at least an hour before he can start it so would be quicker to walk (20-30 minutes) but that's no good if DS is ill.

I think schools need to understand that not all parents can get there quickly in an emergency

When many of us were kids our parents didn't have mobile phones. Surely longer waits would have been even more normal if you had to ring home a few times because the parents were shopping or visiting someone.

Depends where I'm working! If doing paperwork from home, 5-10 mins. If I was in a meeting/appt I wouldn't even see the call until I finished. Sometimes I'm in London or on the other side of the country so it would take me finding someone else to collect as I couldn't be home within an hour. But that would be for primary school. I would only collect ds from secondary school if he had a medical emergency, he cycles himself.

The school should have just found someone to cover and watched the kids until the time the club /school was actually suppose to finish. People plan their day & can't be there just at the drop of a hat.
I'm about a 10 minute drive away, last time I was called when DC was ill, I was in a supermarket and it probably took me 30/35 mins to get them. I just said I'd be there as soon as I could.

I'm 5 mins walk away, but I'm often out and about so I wouldn't be at home during school hours (but I'd probably be nearby if it was 30 mins till pickup time). I've sometimes had to take train trips 2 hours away, although I'd make sure I was back in town in plenty of time. I would expect dcs to travel on their own by secondary age (we live in London, and it was a deliberate choice to live here with dcs rather than move out, so they could be more independent as teens).

When my children were at primary school it would have taken me more than an hour and a half to get them from school - and up to two hours depending on the timing of trains.

I used a neighbour as my emergency contact. Her children were at the same school in the same year groups.

I’m stuck at home all day so it would take me 20 minutes to walk there, or 5 minutes on my mobility scooter.

It's not your fault op. I work in childcare and half an hour to collect a sick child is quite good really from my experience. Lots of parent have long commutes and just can't get back sooner.

I myself could take ages to collect if my child needed picking up from school. I can't just leave work as I have other people's children. Depending who I have in my care I could take them with me but then all the parents would rightly be irritated I'd exposed their child to a sickness bug etc. If I have a high needs child who I couldn't take with me I would have to wait for their parents to collect before I could leave or rely on my emergency contact to come and take over so I could leave. Depending how seriously my child needed me I may decide subjecting a high needs SEND child to care from a near stranger while I go collect would be inappropriate and proportionally I'd need school to wait until I was able to collect.

I imagine my emergency cover would then be irritated with parents who were slow to collect or I would be frustrated by the delay waiting for parents to collect when I had a family emergency I needed to get to. I'm sure it was just an expression of frustration at the situation you certainly did nothing wrong