How quickly can you get your dc from school?

[elliejjtiny]

Normally we are 5-10 minutes away from primary school in the car and 10-15 minutes away from secondary school depending on the traffic. Today we got a phone call from the secondary school saying after school activity has finished 30 minutes early because the teacher had an emergency. Can we please come and get dc3 and dc4 straight away. Dh unfortunately can't because he is picking up dc from college, he will be there in 30 minutes. I have a SEN child at home and can't drive. So I could come but dh would be quicker. Pil are 2nd contact but they live 30 minutes away. School were not impressed with us but I don't know what else I could have done. I don't have any friends who could pick them up and look after them at that short notice.

I feel so bad for abandoning them but I can't think of anything else I could have done. All the dc go to the nearest schools/college.

About 30 mins for both me and DH but we both have jobs we can't immediately leave so it can be tricky if it's a day we are both at work!

I’m also a teacher so even though school is near - I couldn’t leave work myself

dh could it would be 30 mile drive

If I was at home then 10 mins or so most likely. But if I was out an about it could easily be half an hour plus. Occasionally longer. If DH was at work then it's about a 10 min drive but allow another 5-10 for speedy handover, packing up stuff, walking to car etc.

Our back up emergency contacts are friends who live in our city but not the same suburb so would be a 15 min or 25 min drive plus any quick bits to get out of the door. Same for me being emergency back up contacts for their kids.

They shouldn't really expect less than half an hour even for SAHP or people working close by.

On days when I'm not WFH I commute by train and it would take me 2 hours to get from work to school.

DH usually about 30 mins away, but occasionally he's away for work and then I do worry if it coincides with a day when I'm not WFH.

If DH or I were at home, 15-20 mins. If we were both in the office, over 1 hour. But as they are both at secondary and have keys, they would make their own way home unless they had been taken unwell or had an accident.

If you aren't a dickhead you are totally safe from being called one by me. I'm sure you a) fully understand that most parents work and b) would not try to make a parent feel shit for being unable to teleport.

Not sure why you felt attacked when I was talking about the staff in my son's school, and not about you.

I didn't feel attacked.

I just think it's absolutely crappy to call them dickheads.

Everyone is only trying their best.

Could you get an Uber and walk back?
How do you normally get about?

My son (then 14) threw up at school and needed to be collected last year.
I was on the train to work but the trains were delayed and I was between stations , it prob took at least 50 min I can't remember. If I was at work it would be 50 min- 1 hr. No family are closer and I very rarely wfh (less than 5 min away by car)

If they were not unwell and school was sending them home, I'd expect them to walk back themselves

They weren't trying their best if they were pulling faces at a parent and pressuring that parent about a situation they can't control.

It's not very reasonable of the school to have a problem with you when they've cancelled the activity.

It used to take me 45 mins to get from work to my kids primary school and possibly a bit longer because I would have to find someone to cover my own classes and set work for my classes. I remember their school being a bit shitty with me about being so long....I was even more pissed off because there was nothing actually wrong with her, she had said she had a headache and they were in the throes of covid hysteria. The receptionist was the shitty one and I asked her if I was supposed to just walk out on the kids I was teaching, she didn't have any helpful suggestions for me.

No, some people are trying their best, and some people are not. I was trying my best to make a one hour journey in 45 minutes by sprinting up Bishopsgate, and the office staff who knew this were just pushing me to get some random neighbour to collect my son quicker to get him off their hands. They were not thinking of his best interests at all.

I'm a 5 minutes walk away. Either from home or my work. But in my last job I could be up to 90 mins drive away. Collecting within 30 minutes, unexpectedly, is reasonable I would say.

If DH and I are both at the office (not WFH), worst case we're an hour away - it's rare I'm not closer, I'm outreach and that's the furthest I go.

We do have DS 45 mins away at Uni, he usually has his car with him so I'm an absolute emergency he could get there before us (this wouldn't be our favoured option though)

If I'm home (I WFH) I can be at school within 5mins, including putting shoes on.

But in theory I could be anywhere.

DH would take 5hrs, so he's not an emergency contact!

(Their previous schools have been up to an hrs walk away.)

During the school day (primary) I can be several hours away. I'm a single parent with no family or locally. The school are being unreasonable- depending on age of child though I'd expect a seconds ager to be able to sort themselves out even if it's just sat waiting.

5 minutes if I'm WFH, but if it was a middle of the day call on a day when I'm on site I could be up to 3 hours away. Luckily DH is usually closer although can be a nightmare to get hold of!!!

At primary school:

DH - 10 minutes by car unless he was away on business, then 1 1/2 hours from my central London office to the outer borough.

At secondary school:
15-20 minutes by car but that only applies when DD was ill. If a club was cancelled she just walked home as any other day.

Well my youngest leaves school sometimes several times a day, so I try and fly out the door within 30 seconds of the phone call to meet him and trailing teacher on the way back.

With my other children it was anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour.

I used to be 10-12 minutes from the DC's primary school. The few times I had to get DD I got there very quickly but DS always seemed to have accidents when I was a long way away. They never made me feel bad about about it though.

I used to be about 20 minutes away. One day DH forgot to pick up and they called me, they told me not to fret and drive safely, she was sat in the office with a book.

Half the time, DH can be there in minuites.
The other half the time, it would take him hours, so I'd need to do it. 40 mins after I could actually leave work. So, potentially an hour.

For those saying "can't Secondary kids sort themselves out" I guess you live somewhere with public transport?? Despite being at the catchment school (before we moved) there literally wasn't a public service bus that ran between our town and the catchment school town. The kids got the school bus, or parents collected. We get 5 busses a day past our house... so no, the kids couldn't sort themselves out.

The school are out of order here. Bigtime. 30 mins away is not that long. I would be an hour if I was at work, probably more in bad weather. DH similar, on basically one motorway so if it happens to be bad 1.5 hours. I no as teach myself being annoyed that someone is 30 mins away would be being totally selfish and unreasonable, not "trying my best" in any way.

Lot of parents at my DC's school have commutes of an hour or more. That's completely normal. The school staff would just get on with dealing with the situation until the parents returned. It's not ideal but it's part and parcel of them being in loco parentis. Sometimes unexpected situations arise and I'm sure most schools are perfectly capable of dealing with them without making parents feel excessively guilty about matters out of their control.

Thank you. Dc3 is 14, Dc4 is 11. Both have SEN, as does Ds2 who was being picked up from college. Dh was almost at the college anyway so turning round and going back would have made him get to school 5 mins earlier but it would have made him 50ish minutes late for dc2 which would have caused him to be really upset.