Advice on how to handle- dds housemates at uni want to out heating on overnight

[Thethingswedoforlove]

How can we convince them that it really isn’t cheaper to keep the house at a constant temperature?! They want to have it on at a ‘low’ temp of 17 degrees! It’s a huge house with 6 people and most students don’t even have it on during the day let alone at night. I’m at my wits end. How can we afford that bill? I told her that she should say that those that want it on overnight need to pay and she won’t pay a share of that but clearly that is a bit confrontational and doesn’t lend itself to harmonious living. How can we convince them?! It is utterly nuts. Some are saying things like my dad knows about heating bills and it is def cheaper etc.’

I guess the OP is involving herself because she's paying her daughter's share of the bill!

No. It is often separate these days. When energy costs started to spiral a few years ago many landlords got caught out, so now it is often done separately. It is up to the students to source energy providers.

I felt this pressure "cope on my own" at university and as a result slid into a bad mess of depression and anorexia before I sought help.

Of course students can still ask their parents for advice and guidance, and of course parents should still worry about and counsel their children.

This idea of a binary is so odd. DSD mum basically babied her until she was 14, and would have kept doing so till she was 16 if we hadn't intervened. Then at 16 it was all " you are an adult, it's not my problem, I don't care what you do/where you are/ etc". Utterly baffling.

I am in my 40s and still ring my parents to chat and also for advice and guidance

@ForMintUser thank you. We will continue to choose to support our dd through this super intensive course.

@Thethingswedoforlove that's a very reasonable answer to my question and I'm glad you've found different perspectives useful. I hope they can all work it out amicably!

Why are people dead against any form of central heating at night? Yes, you’re in bed, but it’s freezing just now, with lower temperatures obviously being during the night.

What if you need the toilet at 2am? You’ve just to step out from your self-made hot pocket into your arctic bedroom only to have to put your bare skin on an icy toilet seat?

No chance.

I'm sure it varies from house to house.

In my home we put the thermostat down to 17° overnight, up to 19 during the day.

This is after some years of down to 15 overnight (rarely fired up even on coldest nights) when it took hours for the house to get back up to 19°.

I take monthly meter readings and pay monthly by variable DD, and have for 16 years, so I have 16 years of monthly costs to see which system is better.

In this house it costs no more to have at 17° overnight, and it's much more comfortable in the mornings.

My highest gas bill, last January, was £110.

Because she asked for my views and advice because she was concerned! She is still learning and not a fully formed adult yet.

He needs to be careful. When dd was away I turned the radiator off in her bedroom. When she returned the clothes in her wardrobe smelt musty and the shoes had gone mouldy.

Sigh

Because her daughter has asked her.

Do you never, ever need to ask advice from anyone? Ever?

If every person became completely responsible and self sufficient on their 18th birthdays there would be very little posted on mumsnet because everyone is an adult and can sort themselves out as they wouldn't need to ask anyone for help or advice, ever.

I agree with @Thethingswedoforlove
Students often ask for advice from parents. You don't stop being a parent when your children grow up.

How old are your DC BTW?

DD asked about how to sort out energy and internet providers when she was a student, and is now a completely independent adult who knows how to "adult".

ibhave been chatting with dd. She is going to ge the loop app and monitor it to share data with her housemates. But gonna go with the view of others and just let it be. One of them has tried to calculate the value of the cap (weighted for winter) and they will monitor daily spend against that. So it seems a bit of challenge from her has made others think and perhaps monitor things a bit more closely but she is definitely focused on keeping the relationships positive.

I reckon that these posters who imagine that 18 year olds know everything haven't reached that stage yet.

Sorry I haven’t read the whole thread but Martin Lewis spoke about this a while ago and said it wasn’t actually cheeper to keep the heating on at a constant temp, if your not in the house then why have the heating on?

I have mine on for a hour in the morning and then it comes on at 4pm when dd2 gets home until 8.30pm when it goes off until the morning, it doesn’t cost me more than leaving it on a constant 17 all day (17 is way to cold for me anyway, I would rather have it on 20 for a few hours a day). I don’t think there’s a huge difference in the cost.

Is it?
Two dcs at different Uni here and no houseshare has ever had utilties not included. That’s incl Internet, water, gas agd electricity. Dc1 decided to ask to pay for them because they calculated it would be cheaper but they had to ask first it to remove from the rent.

It’s clearly very variable from place to place 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

What I do find is that when dd asks for help/ advice she listens and learns and makes up her own mind. And then that subject doesn’t really come up again. It’s lovely to see her grow and develop (and form her own views!). I have shared with her that plenty of other people do keep their heating on at night which is something we have learned from this thread.

Honestly 17 isn’t that big an ask, yes some students are sitting bundled up with hot water bottles etc but it’s the crappest way to live

Although I never have heating on at night, my house is well insulated so it probably doesn't drop below 17 degrees anyway during that time. The heat from the day keeps it reasonably warm until the following morning.

I think rented houses are often very poorly insulated though so maybe they do have to keep heating on all the time. 17 degrees isn't that high and probably many of the students are awake until 2 or 3 am anyway. I tried putting the heating on at 19 degrees a couple of times and the cost wasn't much different to usual (20 in the day and off overnight). I don't think it's worth getting worked up or falling out over.

I’ve never had the heating on at night. I like the warmth of my bed and the coldness outside my bed. Yes I do have to get up to go to the loo and it feels amazing when I’m back in bed. I have a winter duvet and a throw over my bed and if it’s really cold I take a hot water bottle to bed.

We have the heating on if it’s cold. I didn’t realise this was unusual.

@stayathomer agreed that being cold is horrible. I just don’t experience that during the night. But I get that others do. I also get that different rooms in the same house feel different. @HarrietteVane thank you. That probably explains the differing views on the subject. Really helpful to know that no one can categorically say it is or isn’t better to keep it on or turn it off/ on etc. I won’t say that again.

If there is 6 people in the house the bills surely won’t be astronomical when divided

There will be a cap on energy use though now and if they go over they will be charged extra.

I only have my heating on in the morning, when dds come home from school and shower time.

Can I ask why you're supposed to have it on all night? Genuinely want to know. I don't want to mess up our new boiler.

My house isn't freezing in the night even with the heating off. It's just a bit colder. Do you rent and your house isn't insulated very well?

keep in mind gas is cheaper than electric. So it would be cheaper to have the heating on then individuals running fan heaters.