Why have some older people not adopted Internet?

[SparklyNewMe]

My parents have embraced it naturally somehow, and DM is very active on SM.
PIL have not - similar ages but always scoffed at it as if it was devil’s work. No smartphones. Both were switched on and active in olde age. MIL is on her own now, dependent on DH and BIL for all admin, and simpler things she deals with on her own like finding opening times are harder. But it was 100% choice, not inability, to adopt it, as MIL went to college in her 60s to learn Microsoft Office and has been using Word and Excel for her hobby. But email or internet - dismissed completely.

A special prize goes to car parks which are pay by app only in places where there is bugger all 4G on some networks.

I had a bank account in the 90s, but it was only a savings account and I never had any money to put in it. I was still paid in cash. My first job that paid into the bank was in 2002, and I bought a house the following year. My DM didn’t have a bank account until she needed to have one for her state pension. It took her about 6 months to be able to master a cash point, and she still won’t use a card in shops. She says that she loses track of how much money she has in the bank, so she prefers to take cash out so she can see in her purse how much she has to spend. She lives week to week so she’s terrified of going overdrawn or having a direct debit bounce.

I understand that if you’re comfortable it’s difficult to imagine people live like this.

Brilliant
My mil told embraced it.
Especially Facebook as she loved a gossip.
(All the numerous grandchildren have each learnt, best to hide some / most of thirty posts from her. )
She never realised.
My dad never mastered text even though she was very intelligent.

Yes, but prior to 15 or so years ago, "using the internet" would have required using a computer, so these comments are valid. For a now 90 year old to start using the internet in 2000 would have required a 66 year old to buy a computer. And in my experience (obviously not yours) most 66 year olds were not going out and doing that as they were far too expensive! So everything just got further and further from their reach.

When my Dad died 30 years ago now my Mum didn't even have a bank card or understand how to pay bills. My Dad always paid everything and Mum had housekeeping money for buying food. Dad paid for everything else. We had to show Mum how to do direct debits and standing orders for her bills and got her a bank card for taking cash out from a hole in the wall. Dealing with grief and having to learn to deal with household bills she found hard. Yet she could shop and meal plan and budget food fine. It's what you are used to doing. My Mum died 11 years ago now but never used a mobile phone in her life. She got confused with the remote for the TV and Sky box. She would never have used a computer.

@caringcarer how old was your mum 30 years ago ?

Yo do realise that these things require different skillsets? I honestly don't understand how some people fail to grasp that others have different experiences or that not everyone has the same abilities.

I haven't embraced 'pay by app' as I really don't like the idea of banking details being on my phone. I do all online banking or online purchasing on my laptop which stays at home. Banking on my phone doesn't feel secure to me at all.

If it helps, DH prefers us not to have mobile banking apps as he works in a related area and considers what you do far more secure (we are in our 40s).

TBF, I was responding to your point that people must be exaggerating about not touching a computer. Not in DM’s case.

Anyway.

In part, it is stubbornness, but it is mostly a fear or anxiety. Not of anything concrete, like being scammed, but of change, learning new things. The idea actually distresses her, like agoraphobia might, say.

67

You're not wrong. I'm astounded by people who have everything on their phone, and judging from the recent radio 4 series on scams etc many don't even have the most basic security settings.

Some use of a credit card on the phone is pretty hard to avoid nowadays, especially when travelling. Don't need to put in 'banking details' or use a debit card on it though.

I don't have banking details on my phone, far too much phone snatching going on and I'm not likely to want to bank when I'm out anyway

@caringcarer being 67 in 1995 is fairly different to being 67 in 2025 though.

If you are relatively isolated - a widow living alone - it may be tricky to get up to speed.

It is rather like learning a different language and you also have to do a fair bit of guesswork based on previous experience - which you might not have

Last night, for some reason, Amazon didn't recognise my email or phone sign in and wanted to verify me - probably because I haven't ordered anything from them for years. But it was taking me through a two step verification process and the second stage - involving texts to my mobile phone - didn't work because the texts never arrived. So Amazon ended up temporarily blocking me for repeated unsuccessful attempts - saying to try again in a day's time

This morning I checked my phone's spam folder for texts and all Amazon's verification codes were there because Android had decided to block their number as Spam.

I'll be able to have another go with Amazon tomorrow, but it is the sort of thing which is terribly off-putting if you don't have a basic level of knowledge and competence.

It is also much more likely if you're older/inexperienced that you may fall prey to phishing scams.

For some people who have visual impairments or who are beginning to suffer memory problems, it really is hugely difficult to use this technology. It's actually pretty discriminatory for essential services - local councils, the NHS etc - not to operate easily accessible services where customers, patients can speak to a real live person. (As opposed to someone in a call centre in another country, who can only be reached via a long wait and pressing multiple buttons on a key pad.)

If it helps, DH prefers us not to have mobile banking apps as he works in a related area and considers what you do far more secure (we are in our 40s).

A second phone or tablet that you don't carry around is one option. But it's expensive, because you shouldn't be using a crappy old device which you can't get the latest OS updates for security fixes on for financial stuff.

I'm not sure how using an app for parking and being able to drive are related?

My late FiL never got on with it, and had to get his sons to do a lit of the "life admin", certainly much more since the council moved most "one-stop shoo" stuff to online.

My parents do a lot better and get by, and my mum is quite quick to catch up on things but she worked in offices before she retired, and she still admins for her local WI. There are some gaps but my brother or nephew fill her and dad in and then it's understood.

As two older people, with limited mobility, the internet has made their lives easier, especially when booking holidays and getting their shopping delivered. Also they can order certain medical supplies on subscription and not think about running out.

Exactly this. I do wonder how many here actually have any close contact with the elderly and understand what happens physically and cognitively as people age.

They learned a long time ago and have kept using the skills. It becomes muscle memory where you don't have to think about a lot of the processes involved.

One stop shop!

True…. But we have access to our laptops almost all the time, so might as well use those for banking!

Yes that is my mother, admin stuff is boring to her so she'd rather I do it.

Some people just don't like or want to learn new stuff. The internet comes with a bit of a barrier to entry and can look complicated from an outsiders perspective.

Generally the penalty for not wanting to engage in "new fangled nonsense" is normally not that high. For example my Dad always stuck with his 26" CRT TV and would not upgrade it to a glorious 40" flat panel. However the consequences for that for him were low. He had a shit TV and could not really watch football properly but probably didn't care as that was all he had known.

People like this can generally entrench themselves and it does little harm to them other than they end up having shit TV. They can generally dig themselves a hole and the world doesn't care. Having done this successfully once, they then believe they can do that for everything. This may be true for most things. But is not true for everything.

However if you decide to opt out of the internet these days you are actually opting out of the ability to manage your life as more and more life admin is done online. So taking the stubborn "I'm not having any of that new fangled nonsense approach" actually starts to impact their ability to live as they can no longer do stuff. So it is a whole different proposition to refusing to have a modern telly.

No doubt everyone will be pleased to know my Dad did eventually get that 40" TV when the old CRT shitbox broke down, and spent the next few years wondering why he hadn't done it 10 years ago.

@2dogsandabudgie surely to drive you need a certain level of knowledge of the rules of the road and the routes you are driving. You should be able to understand road signs. You need to with it enough to drive safely. Be aware and observant to the surroundings.
If you can do all that surely you should have the educational ability to understand how an app works.