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Original poster

Children left alone

46 replies

Donotpanicoknowpanic · 07/01/2025 18:36

Just wondering

What age would you leave children alone in the house by themselves?

It would either be a few hours in the evening

Or maybe four hours at a weekend?

Basically I'm a single parent and want to do some things but not always have to bring my kids with me

Two boys, 11 and 14

The 14 year old already does the day alone if he can't go to school for any reason

They have a bedroom each with ps5 and TVs in

They would probably just stay in there rooms

(Not sure what most parents do age wise)

OP posts:
ToKittyornottoKitty · 07/01/2025 18:37

Is your 11 year old in primary or high school? I think for most it depends on how sensible the 11 year old is

MinnieMountain · 07/01/2025 18:39

We have an averagely sensible 11yo. We wouldn’t leave him alone for either of those. Maybe at 12. 14 sounds fine.

TickingAlongNicely · 07/01/2025 18:44

My DDs have been at home alone one evening while I'm working from when they were each in Yr6 (10yo).

At weekends one or other sometimes has a few hours alone while I'm put with the other for extra curricular activities... that started in Yr7 (11yo)

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BeachHutsAndDeckchairs · 07/01/2025 18:48

About your kids' ages.

My dc are 12 and 13 and we left them a few hours one Friday evening just before Christmas and they were fine - looking forward to it, even. They have access to phones and have emergency contacts etc, know what to do ICE and I trust they would actually be able to do it.

Tardigrade001 · 07/01/2025 18:48

I think they are old enough to be left alone, if there are no specific issues.
I'd make the older one responsible and maybe give him a bit of money to "babysit".

madamegaskell · 07/01/2025 18:53

I have 2 boys the same age.

We don't leave the 11 year old on their own for more than 20-30 mins for example, if dh takes the older one to a club or something and I am on my way back from work.....he doesn't have his own phone yet but dh has two so he leaves one with him in that situation.

We do leave the older one alone and we leave them along both together, for 2/3 hours max. When they had an inset recently we left them all day but dh popped home at lunch.

eqpi4t2hbsnktd · 07/01/2025 18:54

Totally depends on the kids and neighbours surrounding - like could they get somewhere safe in an absolute emergency.

AveAtqueVale · 07/01/2025 18:54

I have a sensible 10yo (in Y6) and have just started leaving him this holiday for short periods (c.30 minutes) while taking his younger brother to school as they had slightly different holiday dates. I certainly don't think I'd have an issue leaving him for a few hours at 12, but probably wouldn't late in the evening.

Edit sorry I've just seen your youngest is 11, don't know where I got 12 from

Original poster
Donotpanicoknowpanic · 07/01/2025 18:56

Thanks for the replies

He is last year of primary school

If anything it would be for the summer holiday

If I could leave them alone when I'm at work all day that would be amazing

My ex is the other side of town and my mum is close by as well to check on them

OP posts:
JustRollWithIt · 07/01/2025 18:57

I suppose all kids are different and might depend on the area you live in too, but mine were definitely coming home from school to let themselves into an empty house by that age, and pretty sure were left alone for a few hours on other occasions by then. Nowadays we have phones and maybe if you just state the importance of keeping phone nearby and to keep in touch.

Gcsunnyside23 · 07/01/2025 18:58

If you were leaving them together and trust they would be sensible I would l. I actually already do, mine are 14 and 10 and have been left together for a few hours often. The 10 year old could be trusted on his own for an hour during the day if really needed but only happy leaving them together. The 14 year old has been staying on her own all day during summer holidays since secondary school. It all comes down to the child

Echobelly · 07/01/2025 18:59

That sounds fine to me - I always say it tends to happen naturally, like a time comes when you realise can either go through a tonne of reorganising and faff to prevent them being alone for an hour or two... or you can just do it!

mitogoshigg · 07/01/2025 19:06

At 11 and 14 assuming no sen and they get along I would leave them early evening or for a few hours in the daytime as long as you are contactable or another trusted adult

Alalalala · 07/01/2025 19:19

You can’t leave them alone all day while you work, they’re too young for that.

A ten year old, maybe an hour or so. Eleven a couple of hours.

whiteroseredrose · 07/01/2025 19:34

We left DD home alone during the first summer holidays after starting secondary school.

However I was at work a 5 minute drive away and my mum was a 5 minute walk away.

DS was left alone for short periods of time at about 10 eg if we dropped DD off at Brownies etc.

Both are very sensible though.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 07/01/2025 19:35

Alalalala · 07/01/2025 19:19

You can’t leave them alone all day while you work, they’re too young for that.

A ten year old, maybe an hour or so. Eleven a couple of hours.

So what are do you think a teen can be left alone for a work day?

JimHalpertsWife · 07/01/2025 19:37

You can't leave an 11yo, year 6 student (or just left) at home all day for the whole 6 weeks holiday. What did he do last summer did he go to clubs?

Newuser75 · 07/01/2025 19:38

I wouldn't say a 14 year old is too young to be left while you work all day but I'd not leave an 11 year old all day.

Our eleven year old is fine for a couple of hours here and there.

BogRollBOGOF · 07/01/2025 19:39

Mine are 11 (nearly 12) & 14 and have been left for a few hours in the evening since last summer when the evenings were lighter and they've been happy to continue as the evenings got darker. It enables DH and I to go to the gym together, and it's been great to finally be able to do a hobby as a couple after 13 years.

They're used to getting themselves home from school individually involving buses and walking and DS2 was already used to walking home in y6 and letting himself in. On a rare night out drinking we still get a babysitter, but are coming towards the end of that era.

I stopped having babysitters by 14- we'd reached the point that my babysitters were only about 18m older! With mobile phones, we're all more contactable now than when I was that age group in the 90s.

The secondary years are about gradually developing the independence skills for adulthood.

Hello39 · 07/01/2025 19:40

We are going to leave a 15 year old and 11 year old at home in the evening for just over 2 hours. We will be 5 minutes away, all have phones. Neighbours/extended family next door. Dc happy to stay at home.

NimmyB · 07/01/2025 19:44

If it was just the 14yo I'd say fine, but I don't think it's fair to leave a 14yo in charge of an 11yo for 4 hours.

pinneddownbytabbies · 07/01/2025 19:45

I was babysitting other people's children by the time I was 14.

JimHalpertsWife · 07/01/2025 19:46

pinneddownbytabbies · 07/01/2025 19:45

I was babysitting other people's children by the time I was 14.

All day, 5 days a week, for 6 weeks?

Thingsthatgo · 07/01/2025 19:48

Question for those that leave their 12 or 13 year olds while at work over holidays. Do you allow them to go meet up with friends etc, or do you expect them to stay in the house the whole time you are at work? Do you allow friends over to yours?
DS12 would want to be out and about doing stuff - I'd feel a bit mean insisting he stayed at home all day.

G5000 · 07/01/2025 19:48

Mum close by and they are happy to be left, then of course it's fine.

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