Married couple bill splitting. Hypothetically is this the best way?

[OverthinkingOlive]

Bob and Mary are married. Bob earns £60,000 and Mary earns £30,000. They have two joint accounts. No children or intention of them.

The first is for the boring bits, so mortgage and bills, maintenance and insurance etc. They pay 50% each into this account.

The second is for holidays and more fun things like a new sofa, carpets etc. Just general luxuries. Bob pays 66% into this and Mary pays 33%

Any other money is their own so they pay for their own cars, phones, separate hobbies and expenses etc.

When it comes to nights and meals out etc nobody keeps score they just kind of go with the flow but Bob tends to treat a bit more as he's the higher earner.

Is this fair enough?

I guess it’s fair if they’re both happy??
Not what we do though. We just have 1 current account and some various savings. We share money.

Why not have one joint account and all money goes in to and out of that.

Why is Mary paying 50 % of bills when she’s on a lower wage, everything should be split as per their wage, or put everything in one pot and DD the same amount out to their private accounts.

I'd want the fist one to be split 60/40 too

Surely the 'boring bits' account should be 66/33 as well?

It doesn't matter. The "best" way is whatever suits the couple in question. All couples are different. We have been married for 35 years and have never had a joint account. We have never worked out percentages. It may not work for everyone, but it works for us.
As long as you and your partner agreee, that's all that matters.

If they are happy.

We did everything proportionately.

Could Mary earn more if she chose to, or is it a skills&ability difference?

Does Mary have enough money generally?

This is what I was unsure about...

Feels pretty petty and bleak tbh. Just share it all!

We have a joint account for bills etc and our own accounts for everything else. We don't share money but for holidays, house improvements etc we pay half each. We married later in life, though, and I think it's possibly different when you are starting out together. It works for us though.

Under this system the higher earner will
always have more disposable cash. I wouldn’t see that as fair.

It makes more sense to me to pay the boring bits account proportionate to earnings but either way is fine if you're both happy. I'm assuming you earn 30K and want to pay less for bills? How much do you both have left when you're paid into these accounts?

Also does the one who earns less work part time or just have a lower paying job?

But do you earn roughly the same? If you earned twice what he earned would you feel resentful? Or if earned twice what you earned would you feel guilty?

I wouldn’t consider this a proper marriage tbh. It’s right there in the vows “everything I have I share with you” and legally you are considered one financial unit.

We have one joint account. Over the years our salaries have changed and at points we have each outearned the other. Our stance is that in marriage you promise to share what you have with the other person and support each other through ups and downs, including financially.

I couldn't bear a marriage where one spouse has more money to spend than the other. Or where one spouse "owes" the other money. It wouldn't work at all for me and wouldn't feel like a real partnership.

But everyone is different and what matters if that both parties are happy.

It’s ‘fair enough’
but why are they even married? Why keep this separation? V weird imo

I like my financial independence and privacy so I prefer to have my own account/ own money. If Mary has enough money for her needs and is able to save for retirement I don't see an issue with this split. If one person is struggling and the other living a different lifestyle that would be an issue.

Also does the one who earns less work part time or just have a lower paying job?
I think what a PP asked is also important, as well as sharing money I think it's important to acknowledge the free time and mental load too. If Mary is PT or has a less well paid job because she also does all the cooking, cleaning etc then splitting the bills 66/33 would be fairer, to recognise the unequal unpaid work that she is doing.

We each pay 50% of all the household expenses. Then we make sure that each of us has the same amount of spending money. Anything else goes into the savings account. This means, in effect, that it is me, as the person with the higher income, who pays into the savings.

This seems fair to us as it means that we both have the same amount of spending money.

It depends on whether they see themselves as an actual couple who intend to spend their whole lives together, or two single people who aren't sure if they will split up at some point in the future.

Yes i would feel resentful at paying such a high amount when earning so much less. It should be proportional to earnings if that is how they both want to do it. We have 1 joint account and pay all from that and then have the same amount transferred each month to our personal accounts to do as we please. Any essential purchases come from joint account.

We used to both put half our salary in the joint account then have half left over to do what we wanted.

What’s the point in being married if they’re going to approach things as ‘mine and yours’ instead of ‘ours’?

We're both retired now but did earn roughly the same and still do in terms of pensions. He has more savings because he and his first wife had no children and I did.

I don’t see an issue with this split either. Assuming that Mary will be entitled to 50% of assets she should pay 50% towards them. Mary could always get a different job and earn more money if she wants more disposable income. If Mary wasn’t with Bob she would have to pay 100% of the bills and would really be struggling.

I guess it depends how sure they are on the no children (Which would hugely impact Mary's financial position) and who decides their spending.
As although it seems fair as mary will be better off than she would living alone and earning the same amount, if the size of the house and the lavishness of the holidays is dictated by bobs disposable income and Mary is stretching herself to keep up then its an issue.