55 plus woman. What do I want from life?

[AndThereSheGoes]

I actually believe in manifesting. In that so far life has aligned with typical aspirations.

16 - 25 do whatever and have fun
25 - 30 find the one (after being a bit popular)
30 - have a child
45 - look amazing, get fit
50- be in a good job

55....err.... now what?

Anything I really enjoy I do anyway. I've had the love of my life. I've had a child.

What is next on the list? I've not been amazing in any category so think it's probably too late to go back. But what should I go for?

Travel, future proof house for retirement, strength training, focus on longevity, good eating habits.

I'm definitely aiming for being healthy so I get to the next milestone.

Travel, keeping fit, grandchildren, new hobbies

Get really, really good at something, now you have time to practise. 1000 hours to become an expert, they say. Could be anything. Guitar, yoga, drawing…whatever you fancy.

Keep stepping out of your comfort zone. Do things that scare you. Expand those horizons.

Pay attention to your spiritual side. Meditation, prayer, whatever feels good to you. Develop that inner resilience that we all need in the tougher years of our lives.

Stay curious.

Think about your health

I am writing a book
Experiencing a rebirth and development of inner landscape
Enjoy creating a forever home
planning a second chapter overseas
I have lost weight and enjoy strengthening my body

A new lease of life that is about me and not everyone else!

I'm 54, and pretty much this.

The DC are 13 and 16, so also focusing on getting them through education.
DM is 82 and increasingly frail, so finding opportunities to spend time with her.

You sound as if you’ve done everything you’ve done (at least that you list) in a weirdly programmatic ‘this is what I’m supposed to do now at this life stage way’, so I’d stop asking what you’re supposed to be doing or wanting, and figure out what you actually want.

Why are you narrowing your expectations along such a stereotypical life journey? People of 55 in my sphere have very varied lives: primary aged children, grandparents, adult dependent disabled children, caring for parents, high flying careerists, life-limiting illness, unexpected divorce, widowed, silver ‘gappers’ travelling the world, people saving for first homes, self building houses, volunteering. I’m on my third ‘career’ and loving it. You can ‘manifest’ all you like, if you put your time into social media fake world, but no one lives in a bubble and life has a habit of taking you down very unexpected rewarding paths.

@Pninnette well yes. That's what I'm asking. There is a season for everything but I see to run out of ideas about what I want now.

Thank god. I thought it was just me!
I'm a couple of years ahead of you, OP, and just as bemused.

The feeling I have is of a blend of surfeit - I have everything and everyone I could possibly ever need want and enjoy - and emptiness, in that I don't know what my purpose is now.

I have no interest in managing my health in order to live a long time, as frankly I'm lost as to how on earth to make the coming years years of joy, purpose and contentment.

It's a kicker tbh.

I think @LunaNorth is right with "stay curious". I actively look for things I know nothing about, and then find out about them. It's space - literally space - atm. But after that? Fuck nose

I want to get well (I've had this flu bug thing and now a mouth abscess for coming up a month), do more (even small things), finish doing up this house, pay off my mortgage and travel.

I just feel permanently exhausted.

I want peaceful life with friends and hobbies work part time. I'm thinking of doing some training in an artistic area. Mostly for fun but it may lead to some selling of my work.

Want husband to get on with his life and hobbies too.

Want my kids (late teens) to move on and become self sufficient This is happening slowly.

That's it really.

Nice holidays.

To survive menopause is mine

Perfect theme would be adventure IMO! Great age for it, you’re in shape, you’re not ill or old. Book some trips, with and without your family!

Interesting thread. I turned 55 at the end of last year and was made redundant at the same time. My focus at the moment is maintaining my fitness and health, travelling and finding a part time job that will see me though to full retirement.

If you got yourself to decent fitness in your 40s, build on it, especially with strength (if you already lift, go heavier!) Make sure your nutrition is A1.

Make very detailed and specific goals for the financial situation you want your children to have so they can afford to have the life you had, and then plan to make sure it happens including thinking about the cost of care etc. The sad truth for any children today is that inheritance will make a difference to their life choices that no amount of hard work can make up for. Do this while you are young and healthy, it will be so much harder in 20years.

Get a dog 😁
When I turned 60 my present to myself was a puppy... although I have to stress we're not first time owners, we've always had dogs, we just had a gap since our last one. But still, I'd say a large proportion of the over 50s that I know do have a dog.

Interesting thread, such a variety of experience of course. This is going to sound very woe is me but in my mid fifties I'm struggling to cope with a job that requires long hours, trying to be a decent parent to older teens/young adult and the increasing health needs of much loved parents and FIL. Without my fabulous DH I'd be "not waving but drowning".

I'm early 50s. I'm focusing on eating well, getting fitter (trying to think about fitness and strength rather than worrying about weight), doing a PhD, paying off the mortgage and planning for a comfortable and active retirement. DH and I want to travel a lot once we're no longer tied to work in the way we are now. I also agree re:planning to provide some financial stability for children (won't be much, but we will help out wherever we can just as my parents did for me).

However, life does have a way of chucking curveballs. Aging parents and looming restructures at work might change things, at least temporarily!

At this time of life, if health and circumstances are ok, people often concentrate on enrichment. This might be social, spiritual, creative, travel, learning something new, or doing something that helps others or has a social purpose. You could try dipping your toe in lots of different things and see if you connect with anything. Chuck out any notion of needing to be ‘amazing’ at what you try - how good you are doesn’t matter at all.

Get a big piece of paper and write down anything you’ve ever enjoyed or thought it would be nice to do, and think of how you could try out those things now. Think of it as giving yourself permission to play, and see where that takes you.

Well, at 52 I had to start again: I moved to a seaside town, bought my first house on my own, did as much DIY as I could to renovate it, I took up pilates and running...

At 54 I focus on my physical and mental health well being and my next step is to change career as I can't see myself doing my current job until retirement.

If it weren't for aging MIL life would be pretty perfect. Mortgage paid off and retirement looming. But she has alzheimers and I can see the next however many years will be more and more involved with her care.

The same as at any age have people you love, people you like hanging out with, do things you enjoy, be financially secure.