What do you think to the term “making memories” in regard to pretty normal stuff like say soft play or cinema

[JennyTals]

I mean I kinda get it if you’ve been to somewhere wonderful like on a really nice holiday or something

@ARichtGoodDram im really sorry about your dd. I hope you, l get many more good times and opportunities to make memories with her.

My experience is different. I’m now disabled and housebond. I’m not going to make memories by going somewhere unusual or special. Memories for me happen at home. And I cherish the ones I made when the dcs were little.
Im actually aware that my ability to share experiences with my children is now extreme,ply reduced.
Which makes me value the memories I have even more.

I think many people don’t realise how privileged they are to be able to spend meaningful time with their loved ones. How having new experiences or even mundane experiences isn’t a given.

Why does it matter? Just let people have a bit of joy.

You won’t remember things if you’re not really present, giving attention to what’s going on though.
Talking about the adult ‘making memories’ there ofc.

Nor me!

It's not something I have ever said. Besides, children don't always remember what they are supposed to remember; my daughter recalls having a picnic before we went to a National Trust house because her brother loudly asked 'why are they eating poo?' as a nearby family started eating Cadbury's chocolate mini rolls. She remembers each member had a red plastic plate for their cake - but not which house we were at, or what we saw.

I’d say so. I still remember a surprise cinema trip that I we t on when I was little.

It's not something I'd ever say, but I actually remember every single time I went to the cinema with just my dad. It was something we did very rarely, and I'm from a large family, so spending time with just one relative was always special.

I wouldn’t use it but don’t care if others do.

Cost of living is so high now that the cinema really a one off big treat for us now, rather than an everyday or normal outing.

I don't get the sneering here - surely making memories is good - as long as those memories are positive? I don't know exactly what my adult DC's memories of childhood are and whether they correlate with mine, but I have very happy memories of days out and family trips.

Ghastly phrase in any circumstance

I hate that twee expression. My two are adults now, but we all remember things very differently,

Cautionary tale: years ago took DC to Lapland for 4 days- reindeer, ice restaurant, snow mobiling across frozen lake, dog sledding, v convincing Santa in a woodland candlelit cottage. Asked DS what his highlight was and he said “watching American Ninja on tv” and “when the white dog did a poo and the other one stood on it”

That’s memories for you.

I think the phrase is boakworthy.

Why are you bringing money into it?

Are days spent at home having fun at no expense not memory worthy?

Well, normally I'd be poo-pooing the terminology and concept, because you cannot control which 'memories' your child makes. I was taken to see The Ten Commandments by an aunt. When it opens by stating it runs for over 3 hours, I wanted to leave. But it's etched in my memory, as is rest of day, which comprised a coffee and a doughnut!
You could take your child to the most interesting/cultural/exciting thing in the world and they wouldn't necessarily have this as a memory, but the bus journey would stand out forever

I get the concept but it does make me cringe a bit - also 'core memories' - like people are ticking life off a list.

Makes me cringe a little bit, especially when the DCs are so young they won’t remember and the things are things which seem invented for the purpose of social media (pumpkin picking?).

But then I’m very much against putting DCs on social media and can’t understand why people do it so much.

People will forget what you said and forget what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel.

It isn't about the activity at all, it's about how present you were during the activity.
If you were the parent always on their phone or drinking coffee in the cafe while the kids played, then I'd agree that isn't really making memories. But it all depends on the individual situation.

I only use it ironically when things go wrong

One of my earliest memories was being on holiday at 3... I remember puking in the hotel room #blessed

My dad died when I was still a child. I remember walking the dog with him, hanging around him in the garden, our weekend routines. Going to the tip/ garden centre was an exciting weekend. There are other memories of holidays and rare days out, but it's the time together, being together that mean most decades after losing him.

I do cool stuff with my DCs. I spend a lot of mundane time with them too. Memories aren't made, they happen when something is meaningful and touches our emotions. They can be detailed and rich or fleeting impressions. I can't manage what my DCs will remember and what memories will mean to them, so that's why I find the phrase twee and sickly when people use it without irony.

Just spend time with your family and try to enjoy it... most of the time...

The things one remembers from childhood are completely random.

The sentiment is nice but it's really justification for spending money - walking the long way to the park because it is more scenic, having a picnic and playing in the park is also making memories; it's just free so doesnt seem to merit a hashtag.

Absolutely perfect example of a genuine childhood memory!
I remember being bought an ice cream Mivvi while feeling sick and vomiting at Newlands Corner one sunny Sunday and mum worrying that someone would tread in it, ( on grass) she found a peice of card to put over it.

😂

A lot of people seem to believe that unless there's an (edited) photo on social media, with accompanying hashtag and lots of 'likes' then it somehow didn't happen? Or that it doesn't matter as much?

One of my dcs favourite memories is me playing dodgeball with them one sunny afternoon in our garden.
I didn't do that to make memories. I did that because the dcs were getting restless and I couldn't be arsed taking them out again.

This.

Also usually very consumerist (usually the making of memories involves spending money) and unthinkingly controlling. You can't decide what someone else is going to remember.

One of my clearest childhood memories is of the time the cat shat on the mat, and then my DM stood on it with bare feet!