What do you think to the term “making memories” in regard to pretty normal stuff like say soft play or cinema

[JennyTals]

I mean I kinda get it if you’ve been to somewhere wonderful like on a really nice holiday or something

Vomit-inducing phrase which seems mainly to be used by performance parents on social media who are desperate to shine a light on themselves. For most of us it’s just known as ‘doing stuff with your kids’.

It’s also completely meaningless - you can’t artificially manufacture memories, it’s an involuntary neurological process. You certainly can’t dictate what your children will or won’t remember from their childhoods, regardless of how many times you announce that that’s what you’re doing.

It started as phrase time poor often richer parents hoping that doing big memorable things would be same as just spending general time round kids.

Now it's morphed into spending time round the kids doing anything - include cheaper things like craft or walks. Though agree with PP that cinema and soft play can be quite costly and rare big outings for many - so fit original idea on more modest budget.

Before 18 I went to cinema 3 times in my life - (sometime meant I missed popular refences round Jaws and ET ) - so it was a big event - my kids have been a lot more. Eating out in my fist 18 years was a huge rare event - my kids have been out way more. So I think family context and economic resources play a huge role in perception as to what a big outing.

I never use the phrase " making memories". However, this Christmas, looking back at the times when my parents were alive, the special memories come from what were at the time, quite ordinary things.

Exactly right. I don’t think you need to specifically say that to mark family time.

But then I also don’t think you need to take a million pictures of every activity you will never look at again.

My dc are 18 and 20 now. I took them to soft play a lot when they were little. We also spent lots of time at the local park. Time doing mundane things, really that I remember (and I’m sure they remember some things we did and generally a happy childhood) so although these things feel mundane, I remember them therefore yes, we made memories.

I can see this as an advertising slogan TBH.

You can’t buy memories. It’s not how your brain works.

It's more the need to post on SM about the making of every memory ever made that gets my eyes rolling.

If people spent less time posting Every boring Detail Of Their Lives of Facebook they may actually spend more time being in the actual moment. Which research shows is far more beneficial to mental health.

It's a twee, rather meaningless phrase, but I do think that very ordinary activities can create lovely memories. When I look back on my childhood the things that I remember most fondly are often quite mundane.

On Facebook, rather

I had an unequivocally shit childhood.

Everytime a movie from the 70s or 80s is on TV, it takes me back to the Saturdays where my big brother would take me away from the dirt, the violence and screaming abuse to a place where there was food, comfortable seating, warmth, places that weren't filthy and surrounded by concrete or the air thick with diesel soot, and the good guys always won in the end, protected the vulnerable, children were rescued and there was a happy ending due to somebody doing the Right Thing.

Those movies gave me hope and an outlook that wasn't 'hate everybody and beat them down to make you feel better because everything is always awful/that's what those with power do'. My brother had also experienced the same abuse, so I think that he was deliberately trying to give me some bright spots, some joy and hope in my life to remember each time life was again horrible. And I remember clearly trotting down the road with him, trying to keep up with my little legs, talking to him and feeling light and happy and excited for what I was going to see or wittering on about the films on our way back.

He made memories for me. Ones that override the vast majority of the others and are easily triggered by the opening notes of a John Williams soundtrack or a familiar theme.

Didn't buy me a holiday, though - does that really mean what he did wasn't anything special?

Sorry to hear that 😢hope you weren’t too young when they married
never for the life of me will I understand people that put relationships before their kids

My parents never took me to soft play or the cinema. I remember the times I went with friends very clearly. Not everyone has the money or caring parents to "make memories" to the standard not to be judged. That's not the child's fault

I'm not a big fan of the phrase altogether tbh. It sort of seems better to me to just do things because you'll enjoy them rather than thinking of activities in terms of looking back on them. It also feels a bit like it really means 'making social media posts'.

I think it's pretty cringe. I could understand if it was a special holiday, or a "big" birthday, but just a trip to the cinema? Nah.

'Making memories' is just a twee social media phrase, almost as bad as 'Feeling blessed' about every sodding thing.

Although 'feeling blessed' is so often accompanied by intense bragging as to the reason why 😂

For me the difference is those spending time with kids and having fun are doing just that, those who are 'making memories' are documenting it, constantly interrupting the flow to take photos and then sharing all the photos later when they come up on a memory montage on an app. They are literally planning their SM feed in advance

It’s a terrible phrase that seems to me the complete opposite of how we should approach experiences- we should be trying to be present in the moment and fully aware, rather than doing some complex cognitive shuffle whereby we mainly experience life from the perspective of how it will seem to us afterwards, as memory. The mental equivalent of approaching every experience from the perspective of how it will look on your instagram.

I don’t think you can personally plan what kids remember esp young kids
as like the pp poster siad you take them all sorts of places
and what do they remember…. Oh that time a chicken was stuck up a tree 🤣🤣

I’ll stop this bitching now though as not the way to start the new year

Doesn't it mean I'm getting my phone out to take photos to put on SM for myself

You can't 'make memories'. They just happen. Kids remember the daftest things - in our family it's when a seagull nicked dad's chips and when mum fell arse over tit while climbing over a muddy stile. Believe me, I did not set out to make that memory.

My own childhood memories are mostly about helping dad in the greenhouse, not about the bigger ticket stuff.

Memories make themselves, and they aren't dependent on the amount spent or the frequency of the activity.

And mostly the ones that get talked about years on are the unexpected happenings, the one-off adventures, the mishaps, the lucky co-incidences.

The idea of curating events to be 'memories' is a cringe as styling your life to look good on Insta etc.

Enjoy the moment, do what you can to ensure a happy childhood for your kids, a stable and nurturing home life, building the confidence for them to embrace their own adventures.

As a child growing up with my parents, siblings, extended family and friends we didn’t spend much time with planned activities or many holidays. I still have wonderful memories of my childhood, often spontaneous silly every day things that’ happened, the far fetched funny stories that my dad told us, the odd habits, mannerisms and foibles that people we knew had and most especially the conversations we had as a family about life in general. These memories weren’t purposely made, they just happened.

I dislike making memories but I think we’ve turned it into something that has to be big, has to be special to be a memory but the mundane things can be memories. I remember my mum taking me to see Mulan more clearly than some of our big holidays, so cinema trips absolutely can be memories. There are also small consistent things that make memories, like my every time I went in my grandad’s car he’d have polos.

I don’t think we can dictate what sticks in a memory though, we like to think it’s these insta moments that you’ve shelled out but it’s often the little things or the things that didn’t quite go to plan.

Hideous phrase

Same here. Absolutely detest it.