Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

What would you have said (re covid vaccines)

33 replies

greyweek · 30/12/2024 10:00

I've just had a video chat with a friend that lives quite far. We do talk on the phone once or twice a month but haven't seen each other (or video called) for ages.
I was telling her about dh having pain in his leg and how he was prescribed antibiotics and was told its inflammation. I told her we were worried that it might be blood clots/ deep vein thrombosis but it was ruled out. The backstory is he had op a few weeks ago and he is on anticoagulants that have been played around with a lot because of the op. She knows that as I've told her before.
Anyway, as soon as I said blood clots she started reminding me that we have had the Astra zeneca vaccine. That she knows so and so that is struggling with blood clots as a result. That even though it has been a few years, it's always going to stay in our body...
I was too gobsmacked to come up with a reply other than its inflammation not blood clots after all.

During the covid years she didn't have the vaccines as she didn't want it to 'change her genome'. I was also shocked when she said that back then and it had cooled off our relationship as her opinion was too different than mine. She now has this attitude of I was right and you made this huge mistake and you have to live with it...

I don't just moan to her about dh in our chats. I do listen to the things she has to say, etc. She is someone who is there to help if needed (not sure if because of empathy or just people pleasing though as she often ends up feeling used.)

Anyway, it was one of those conversations where I felt I should have said something in response, but didn't want to affect our friendship.

OP posts:
ThejoyofNC · 30/12/2024 10:01

Well she's not wrong is she.

DowntonCrabbie · 30/12/2024 10:01

I would have said don't be daft, none of that is true or relevant, and moved the convo on.

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 30/12/2024 10:02

She's not necessarily wrong. We won't know the full side effects of the vaccines for years. Yes they had their place and majority of people have had them and the world has been able to return to normal, but it's very naive to think there aren't any long term side effects to the jabs

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Covid-19 General health
Youcancallmeirrelevant · 30/12/2024 10:03

Pretty sure blood clots was on the list of possible side effects. The side effects were basically the same as the contraceptive pill

midgetastic · 30/12/2024 10:04

ThejoyofNC · 30/12/2024 10:01

Well she's not wrong is she.

Sarcasm alert !

DowntonCrabbie · 30/12/2024 10:04

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 30/12/2024 10:02

She's not necessarily wrong. We won't know the full side effects of the vaccines for years. Yes they had their place and majority of people have had them and the world has been able to return to normal, but it's very naive to think there aren't any long term side effects to the jabs

Yawn. What are the long term effects of the polio vaccine?

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 30/12/2024 10:09

DowntonCrabbie · 30/12/2024 10:04

Yawn. What are the long term effects of the polio vaccine?

Show quote history

There's none which is great! And maybe the COVID one will be the same, all post said was we can't know that yet.

But as with anything medical, there is a 1% or 0.0001% of something happening

Gliblet · 30/12/2024 10:09

The vaccine question is sort of beside the point - 'ah ha! I was right and you were wrong, ha ha! I'm so very clever, aren't I clever?' is not an appropriate response when a friend, someone you care about, is unwell or worried about someone close to them who is. Unfortunately none of us express ourselves as well as we'd like to 100% of the time.

If she was going to mention it at all then a kinder way of doing it would have been something like "Didn't he have the AZ vaccine? I think blood clots were on the list of side effects, it might be worth mentioning to the doctors". And of course then, instead of 'omg she still thinks differently to me about something' you'd have taken the comment as it was intended and thought it was kind of her to be looking out for his wellbeing like that. Because we're all perfect in hindsight 😁

WonderingWanda · 30/12/2024 10:09

I don't think it would stress me out. I can't remember what vaccines we had but I couldn't care less if other people didn't have them and think they are bad. At the time, we deemed them necessary because in the first wave people were dying and I was surrounded by kids coughing in my face all day long. They may well bring side effects and now that covid had mutated I've not been seeking out further vaccines.

In your shoes I would've said "Oh, well we did what we thought was best at the time and we can't know for sure these blood clots are caused by the vaccine" If she kept banging on I'd say "Thank you, you've made your point, I'm not sure it's of any use to me for you to keep saying I told you so...to be honest I was just after a bit of sympathy"

Nannyfannybanny · 30/12/2024 10:12

There was an interesting article recently by Prof Rob Galloway regards Covid vaccine and that it's far more dangerous to get COVID than to have the Vax. I do know someone personally badly affected by COVID including blood clots before the vaccine was available. I have a relative and good friend, who is CV as is her disabled son, who has refused the vaccine. She had COVID recently,I had to bite my tongue! She knows my views, it's like Brexit, everyone has an opinion. I've just finished a 5 year Covid trial. If you want to look it up out of interest,it was "covidence study" respiratory prof Adrian Martineau Queen Marys university, London. You can't change people's beliefs, only how you frame them, and decide if you can continue with the friendship with difference of opinion.

Datadriven · 30/12/2024 10:14

I would have said - Eh? You’re not listening! It’s not blood clots! Why are you talking about blood clots? It’s inflammation! That’s the whole point of what I’m trying to tell you about. Look, if you don’t want to listen about his health issues then just say so, but please don’t go on about the thing that I’ve told you it’s not, particularly when I’ve already told you that I was worried about it before I found out that his problems are caused by something else. Thanks

BornForLeaving · 30/12/2024 10:14

I didn’t have the covid vaccines but I certainly wouldn’t have an ‘I told you so’ attitude to anyone who did, which is what your ‘friend’ is doing. That’s not a friend.

Your husband doesn’t have blood clots anyway so her comments were completely irrelevant as well as shitty and not something a friend would say. I’d distance myself from her as she doesn’t sound very nice. Imagine of your husband or you did have blood clots, she’d still be more bothered about saying she was right than showing any care for your you.

CountFucula · 30/12/2024 10:17

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 30/12/2024 10:09

There's none which is great! And maybe the COVID one will be the same, all post said was we can't know that yet.

But as with anything medical, there is a 1% or 0.0001% of something happening

Show quote history

That last sentence is the very epitome of scientific misunderstanding and I love it 😆

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 30/12/2024 10:34

CountFucula · 30/12/2024 10:17

That last sentence is the very epitome of scientific misunderstanding and I love it 😆

Show quote history

👍

Maddy70 · 30/12/2024 11:42

Blood clots were listed at the time as possible side effects. That's not a conspiracy theory but the benefits outweighed the risks large scale but I would have said yes I know your views on it...

LouiseTopaz · 30/12/2024 11:55

I had bad side effects from the covid vaccine (one of which was my body being covered in painful blisters) I had lots of tests and was told the vaccine caused this, when I researched online the side effects from it are more common than you think. It's not a conspiracy or just a small number of people affected. I'm in my early 30s had COVID three times now and the vaccine for me was not worth the risk.

Meadowfinch · 30/12/2024 11:58

DowntonCrabbie · 30/12/2024 10:01

I would have said don't be daft, none of that is true or relevant, and moved the convo on.

This

Shmee1988 · 30/12/2024 11:59

Maddy70 · 30/12/2024 11:42

Blood clots were listed at the time as possible side effects. That's not a conspiracy theory but the benefits outweighed the risks large scale but I would have said yes I know your views on it...

Just out of interest, can you explain how you came to the conclusion that the benefits largely outweighed the risks?

Narkacist · 30/12/2024 12:03

Many of the vaccine side-effects are the same as the side-effects of having COVID without being vaccinated, so that’s probably what I’d say in that position. Probably you’d be wasting your breath though, you can’t reason someone out of a position they didn’t reason themselves into.

Original poster
greyweek · 30/12/2024 12:22

'Imagine of your husband or you did have blood clots, she’d still be more bothered about saying she was right than showing any care for your you.'

Yes! I was sharing my worries around his health and was really surprised when her mind went there! She also knows he is about to have another op in January (unrelated to the pain in his leg).

OP posts:
IKnowAristotle · 30/12/2024 12:30

Something along the lines of " I know your position on vaccines but I don't believe it's relevant to this conversation."

If she kept going on just say " I'm worried about my husband and this isn't helpful."

Original poster
greyweek · 30/12/2024 12:30

Nannyfannybanny · 30/12/2024 10:12

There was an interesting article recently by Prof Rob Galloway regards Covid vaccine and that it's far more dangerous to get COVID than to have the Vax. I do know someone personally badly affected by COVID including blood clots before the vaccine was available. I have a relative and good friend, who is CV as is her disabled son, who has refused the vaccine. She had COVID recently,I had to bite my tongue! She knows my views, it's like Brexit, everyone has an opinion. I've just finished a 5 year Covid trial. If you want to look it up out of interest,it was "covidence study" respiratory prof Adrian Martineau Queen Marys university, London. You can't change people's beliefs, only how you frame them, and decide if you can continue with the friendship with difference of opinion.

I will look it up.
It's not something we have regretted or something we would link any health issues four years later to.

I know she was definitely against the mRNA vaccines for fear of altered dna, which I always avoided talking to her about, as I knew I couldn't change her mind.

OP posts:
TheCourseOfTheRiverChanged · 30/12/2024 12:41

CountFucula · 30/12/2024 10:17

That last sentence is the very epitome of scientific misunderstanding and I love it 😆

Show quote history

What do you mean?
Randomly chosen percentages are being used to gesture towards existence of unknown risks, however small.

How does that epotomise scientific misunderstanding?
And why do you love things you (mis-)perceive to be scientific misunderstandings?
This is up there among strangest MN posts I've ever read.

BornForLeaving · 30/12/2024 12:43

greyweek · 30/12/2024 12:22

'Imagine of your husband or you did have blood clots, she’d still be more bothered about saying she was right than showing any care for your you.'

Yes! I was sharing my worries around his health and was really surprised when her mind went there! She also knows he is about to have another op in January (unrelated to the pain in his leg).

This is less about covid and blood clots and more about her just being a really crap friend. Good people don’t use their friends bad time’s to gloat and be smug. Then she was so busy being smug and prove she was right that she completely missed the part where your husband doesn’t even have blood clots. I really couldn’t mix with someone like that.

I hope your husband is fully recovered soon.

biscuitsandbooks · 30/12/2024 12:45

Blood clots were a side effect of the vaccine - but they're also a side effect of COVID anyway, so the vaccine isn't really relevant in this case, I don't think.

Swipe left for the next trending thread