Sister going on funeral 'jolly'

[ItoldyouIwassick]

My sister is going to our uncle's funeral. It's a long train journey away so she's seeing it as a holiday, going for 2 nights, to a "lovely air bnb with a hot tub. Might as well have 2 nights as it's so cheap this time of year!"

Where it gets weirder, we really didn't know the uncle at all. Met him maybe twice, briefly, in our lives as children. She's taking her daughter, who never met the man, out of school for that time along with her DH who will take time off work, who also never met our uncle. She's said the absence has been authorised by the school, but I can't imagine how. Her daughter is the sort of child who can't hold her own water, so any fibs would just not hold.

They're not terribly well off, so missing work, potential fines for absence seem really daft to me. None of my business of course, but it just seems insane. Why not just have a weekend away if you really want one?

She tried to do the same for another uncle's funeral a few weeks ago. We were much closer to him so I offered to drive (she had an injury that meant she couldnt drive at that time) so her DH didn't need to drive and could look after their daughter so she wouldn't miss school. She accepted, only to turn me down the next day as she 'remembered' she had a work thing she couldn't miss on the afternoon we'd travel (I was taking our elderly parents the evening before as funeral was first thing in the morning, a couple of hundred miles away) So she came, alone, on the train in the morning instead.

But now she's finally getting her family fun funeral jolly. Whatever floats your morbid holiday boat, I guess. Just had to share the weirdness of it all.

They've actually decided to go for a week now. 2 days authorised the rest isn't. It's up to them, yes, but in light of a conversation about them not having money to do something quite important re their safety and welfare, I'm just baffled as to why they'd spend money on this. Let alone my niece missing a week of school after missing a week in September. But, yes not my problem. Just think it's an odd thing to do. And I suppose having helped them financially previously I'm just a bit taken aback that they're using a funeral as a cover for yet another holiday, that they can't really afford.

If you want to give or lend people money, that's your choice.

It still doesn't mean they need to stick to doing things that don't apparently 'baffle' you.

No, the parent and their sibling didn't have a relationship. That's why we didn't know them.

No, they don't, of course. Doesn't mean I can't have an opinion on it either though.

Still weird to post your opinions involving your sister's and her family's business on the internet though?

I think you need find something in your own life to concentrate on.

It would be very unusual to authorise for the funeral of a great uncle.

Can only think she thinks she's in line for an inheritance?

That's pretty much the entirety of MN though? So if that's weird, you commenting on it is also weird, isn't it?

Sounds you are racing at full speed into a similar kind of non-relationship as the one your parent has with their sibling in question. Enjoy.

Not really no.

The entirety of MN isn't people posting about their sister's private business, whilst claiming they also understand it's none of their business.

Thanks for your thoughts on the matter.

Authorising is at the discretion of the head. I’m a teacher and it would likely be authorised in my school in this situation where the funeral involves travel and the mother is a single parent. It would be authorised on the basis that the mother couldn’t go without the child being able to go because it involves travel.

It is an odd thing to do op - to book time off to attend a funeral of a relative you don't know.
Have you asked her why she's doing this?
She's probably taking advantage of the situation to get some authorised holiday.
Is there anything about the place that's connected to your roots at all? Maybe she's trying to connect with that or the extended family?
I know someone who did something similar - he told his mum that he went to the funeral because he remembered his uncle and their family from when he was young and he missed them when they suddenly weren't speaking to them anymore.

None of us have ever been to the place they live, ever, not even to the county it's in. The uncle left home at 15 and hardly returned. They came to visit my nan, who we lived near, once in our childhood. As my sister is younger than me I very much doubt she has any recollection. So we didn't know the uncle, cousins or area they are from at all. There will not be any family members present that any of us know or have ever met (apart from the one cousin, briefly on a couple of occasions). I have no ill will towards them, and I've nothing against paying respects. But I just don't think that has anything to do with what she's doing.

I wouldn't ask her because she has an explosive personality. But I'm fairly certain it's just an excuse, to herself, to go away again even though they can't afford it. Also, in my opinion, using it as a pretext to take your child out of school for a week isn't great.

I just found out my dad is paying for new tyres for her to drive down as they almost failed the MOT...seven months ago. She's had 3 holidays in that time and been driving her daughter, and my child on a couple of occasions, in that car. I just basically think she's an idiot and a dangerous idiot. My relationship with her will be much more distant now I know that she risked my child's safety because of costs she wasn't prepared to pay because holidays take priority.

I think it's the right thing for your Head to be compassionate in those circumstances.

My sister is married and they're all going for the week.

Drip drip drip….as usual