I feel as though I no longer want to give gifts to these family members?

[Holeinmywellies]

In the 35 years that I have been with dh, I have never seen my fil open the birthday or Christmas presents we have gifted him. He will accept them, say thanks and then leave them unopened. I have no idea why he does this but he does and I find it rude. My sil no longer gives him anything due to this.

My father is also a pain when it comes to gift giving. He will moan about presents saying he doesn't want any type of food as it won't get eaten, has enough clothes, enough toiletries etc. The older he is getting the harder it is to think of gifts for him for Christmas and even harder as his birthday is on 27th December. I suggested this year that maybe we don't buy each other gifts and his face fell to the floor.

So this year I thought long and hard and decided to buy him a soup maker. He loves the homemade soup I have made him on occasions and said he would like to start making some for him and my mum (mum has dementia so all the cooking is now down to dad). I thought the soup maker would be idea as it literally does it all, you throw in the ingredients and 25 mins later you have soup.

I spoke to him on the phone yesterday and he said that I may as well take the soup maker as he will never use it (hasn't even taken it out of the box). He then suggested that I make the soup each time and bring it over to them, he won't even try doing it himself.

I don't think I will bother with gifts next year tbh, I can't be arsed with all the hassle of trying to find something only for it to not be opened or moaned about.

It does happen. Everywhere.

The real question is which soup maker and is it worth it / dish washer clean ??
you’ve got me interested!

Older people are hard to buy for. My parents and ILs have homes full of stuff, including pantries of expired food and wine. If they insist on still doing gifts, I'd just give them a token bottle of alcohol or chocolates or lottery tickets. No point putting effort into it if it's not appreciated.

Op stop the gifting madness. My DH parents NEVER opened their gifts.. when they were both deceased (FIL at 96) their attic was full of unwrapped gifts. Brand new food processor from 1999? Why yes one right here! This was all before my time with DH but when he brought home that food processor ( he and his siblings essentially all received the gifts they had given PIL) I put it in the cupboard and 6 mo later donated it and no one has ever asked about it. I already have one a new modern one and I don’t want your mothers 20+ one. Don’t suggest don’t ask just say in early November or maybe Oct 31… DH and I are not buying adult gifts this year. Your PIL and DDad can have the gift of your time your company and food all presented by you. I have really really been observing gifting this past holiday and I see very little I would want or would want to gift. I bought 5 gifts (total not each) for my dc and my nephew. A joy to select and wrap and receive and every single one was perfect for the recipient. Less to buy =more time and money for those I do buy for. I find only the first year is tricky and then everyone knows what to anticipate the next year.

Thanks everyone.

Dad said he would prefer a small air fryer so we have exchanged the soup maker for one and he seems quite happy with this, so fingers crossed.

And this Christmas it will be smellies and chocolates, I am not putting myself through that stress again.