Homeless guy...

[2025upcoming]

There is a homeless guy sleeping in his car outside our home.
He has been there a couple of weeks.

He spoke to us today, said he has recently split from his wife, has a job, just no home.
He said he knows our neighbour, who has said he can sleep on his allocated parking space. (We all have a space each)

Feel so sorry for him today, being Christmas Eve, it's cold, he's on his own.
I keep wondering whether to take a cuppa and a mince pie out there for him.
Although if he has a job, I know he probably has food.

DH Says not to as he might want feeding and watering every day and might start knocking on the door etc

DH is also getting a bit annoyed with him sleeping outside as he has seen him having a wee up the alley next to the house a few times and someone else also told us, he has been pooing down there!! (There is tissue there, which is pretty grim!!)

What would you do?
Is there anyway to help the guy without feeding and watering him etc?

I would be kind. I would tell your DH that Christmas is the time to be kind .. if this was your son / what would you want people to do . ??

Why hasn't his friend taken him in for Christmas? Seems a bit cruel.

He needs to poo in a bag and bin it.

Poor man...id make him a brew and some food.....how in gods name can he live in his car.

If he has a job, why can’t he rent a room somewhere. There are very cheap hotels or Airbnb. It must be very temporary or it doesn’t make sense.

Does he drive off or walk off to his job every day?

Why can’t the neighbour who knows him put him up for a few days or give him hot drinks etc? It’s so bizarre that the neighbour is happy for him to sleep in his car in his parking space but won’t help him or give him hot drinks etc. Feel very sorry for him. He must be freezing. Have you spoken to the neighbour about it?

There’s a reason none of his friends have taken him in. I’m usually all for helping but in this instance I sense red flags and would find out more first.

Yes he literally sits in the car all night, the light is on sometimes and his 'friend' makes him a hot water bottle he says.

I cannot really ask the neighbour as he doesn't speak much English.
I really don't know why he hasn't invited him in or how he knows him as he says he lived in the wife / job 45 miles away but has come here as has found a new job.
He bikes to work.
The bike sits in front of the car.

Yeah, this

The pooing and weeing in the alley would piss me off aswell. There's no reason he can't go to a McDonald's or something

Something is off here, op. I've survived some horrible shit so I try to be kind but I'd steer clear unless spoken to/to say hi in passing x

I agree with your DH. Honestly this is the kind of situation that I could see spiralling. Asks if he can pop in to use your loo. ..take a shower, cup of tea in the morning etc etc. I wouldn't get involved

A disturbing episode of Inside No 9 springs to mind

Tom and Gerri

Contact social services. Could there be a safe guarding issue here? Why is a "friend" keeping the guy in a car outside? They will be able to advise.

I've just been back out and spoken to him.

He says his sister is ill in hospital so he has been sending all his money back home (Brazil) to pay for the hospital bill, he was renting a room but the landlord wouldn't wait 3 weeks for payment and kicked him out.
He didn't have a car, just a bike, so has brought this car just to sleep in.
Said it is temp until Feb when he is going somewhere (couldn't understand due to language barrier)

Asked him if he needed anything and he just asked if I could fill up his flask with hot water.

Tried to take a sneaky look in the car, looked like he had food.
Even had 2 littler Christmas decorations on the dashboard 😞

No idea where he is washing etc.

I don't mind filling his flask / water bottle but I don't be letting him in to use loo / shower.
Too risky with DC and surely he can use his friends for that if need be.

Quite depressing situation.

Couldn't you contact some social services or charity organisations and arrange some help for him?

I think you’ve done the right thing op. Check in on him a bit, hot water for some tea. Of course, I understand you need boundaries, but I don’t think we ever forget a genuine bit of kindness when we’re down; it can affect many of our future choices.

If in the UK, there should be a local council homeless support/ homeless outreach team number online that you can call. Look up your local council.

You can report him to Streetlink

Or rough sleeping team for local council

Bless you, I'd want to help too but can see it's awkward. I think providing a bit of hot water is reasonable, poor guy must be cold out there 😞 do you know where he works? It's a shame his friend can't offer him the sofa for a few weeks till he can find a new place. Are there any hostels near you? They usually provide assistance, especially this time of year.

Hot water bottle if you're feeling kind.

Surely the council can provide emergency accommodation for him? I don’t think you should interact with him more than you have already tbh, it is very risky.