Lonely sad Christmas.

[2025hope]

Anyone feeling sad and lonely? Lost my lovely mum last year. I have a tiny family now (just 3 of us,). I know some people are completely alone so I should be grateful but I just feel shit.

Sorry to hear this@2025hope. Could you put on a comedy film and get some nice nibbles in? Or escape for the day tomorrow to the countryside for a long walk?

It is understandable to feel shit as you have only recently lost your mum. Christmas will always be difficult, but over time instead of being shit it will turn to being tinged with sadness. Hang on in there OP

Three of us here too - two young adult children and me.

No other family but lots of good friends, and I have a great partner.

The DCs have their dad. He has two sisters, and two living parents who are all very good people but slightly arms-length aunts/grandparents.

I am luckier than many but at this time of year I do feel envious of people with numerous relatives to whom they are close.

I meant to add that I am sorry for your loss. It’s difficult at Christmas.

Another one here, I haven't lost anyone recently (lost my Dad 11 years ago), but Christmas is a lonely time that I like to get out the way. As a child I was fit to burst at the thought of Christmas, it was such a magical time - all the extended family over for a few days, lots of board games, just great fun times. Now it's me, ds (21, autistic, not remotely interested in Christmas), and my 81 year old Aunt. We go through the motions but it feels so forced and just a constant reminder that it isn't how it used to be if that makes sense. I'll do the roast dinner, (although this year am on Mounjaro so will struggle to eat much), we will go for a walk before lunch, then it won't be long until it's done. I like Boxing Day, the pressure is gone, things are starting to get back to normal etc.

Sending hugs to anyone else who would love it to be how it was. I know it can't be and we need to make new memories etc, but it's the volume of family members I miss I think.

I'm sorry for your loss. The first Christmas after you lose someone can be particularly difficult.

My advice is to acknowledge the elephant in the room. You are fee!ing sad this Christmas and shouldn't feel the need to paper over that. Maybe just focus on a couple of things that have meaning for you, whether that's sharing a meal with your family or sitting in front of the tree with a glass of wine.

Be easy on yourself. I hope you find some moments of peace this holiday season. Take care -

Thank you all. 🩵

I do too. My mum died 4 days before Christmas 3 years ago at the end of Covid and I had to watch it over FaceTime, I want allowed in, it was so sudden. my son is away at uni and going to his girlfriends for Christmas, the genuine love of my life who I thought I was moving in with and getting engaged to this Christmas has fucked off with someone else who lives 4 minutes way away from me so i feel like I can’t even leave my house and over the last 6 months I’ve put on three stone in comfort eating. But… I’m still here and I’m alone tomorrow and it’s so painful but I just want anyone who is struggling to know that I’m sending so much love to you. I can’t say it’ll be ok because I don’t know if it will be you know those posts where people say you’re not alone and you’re loved and you thin … oh fuck off? I really mean it, I get it now. 2024 was a real eye opener for me when it comes to fiends and I’m glad. I’ve never said a year would be good before but I’m pinning it on 2025 for all of us who are struggling right now. And OP no you shouldn’t feel grateful! Pain is pain and grief is grief. You’re suffering right now so don’t compare yourself to anyone because this is really hard and painful for you! I’m so sorry about your mum, it’s awfully painful. Sending useless hugs but hugs nonetheless Xxx

We go through the motions but it feels so forced and just a constant reminder that it isn't how it used to be if that makes sense

It makes perfect sense! I had such a huge extended family growing up with dozens of relatives and big, noisy family holidays. Fast forward to the present...I'm in my 60's and all (every single one!) of the older generation are gone. The cousins are scattered to the winds and my older siblings are noticeably slowing down.

I'm fortunate to have a lovely husband and an adult child that I love to pieces, but Holidays tend to remind me of just how much has changed...and how old I'm getting😂

I feel lonely. Quite a small family but it's more the tension between me and DH that's the cause of it tbh.

I'm feeling a bit sad and lonely. I just got back to work yesterday after being poorly and the nature of what I do can be sad this time of year. I decided to take my car into a battle with a wall on the way home. Unfortunately the wall won. Today I've been getting the insurance sorted and stressing about pricing up a house job we're doing. My wife loves Christmas and we're spending the day and night with most of her lovely family tomorrow. However it's always a complex time of year for me due to traumatic Christmas memories. This year it's the first without my Dad who was a really horrible person but turns out somehow that doesn't make the grief easier. I'm just trying to be kind to myself. It's only a day. I'll enjoy giving people their gifts tomorrow and do my best

OP bereavement is very hard. I have no family except my DH. But it is just one day. Accept it is going to be hard because your lovely mum is no longer there. I go to the graveyard in Christmas morning, lots of others there visiting a grave of a loved one. Then back for lunch, TV and a drink. Is there something you can do to acknowledge your mum tomorrow? It can help.

Just me, dd and our cat

Cat isn't arsed for obvious reasons and my dd is 5 with autism so only semi knows what's going on, although I think she's more aware than last year, which is a win

I just wrapped up my own Xmas present so I have something to open in front of dd tomorrow

It'll be a quiet one. I might have some wine tonight whilst I set up some presents and blow up balloons

Bit of a quiet one but I'm just focusing on making it nice for her

Edited to add, I'm sorry for your loss. This time of year is hard 😪 but it's just one day, and it'll all be over and you can focus on next year. Booze and a boxset for tonight? x

I'm sorry, OP, it's horrible.

My DM died when I was in my early 20s, leaving me with just my father, who I didn't get on with. We were saved from a really difficult Christmas by some family friends who asked both of us to stay for about 4 or 5 days, and we ended up having a good time. They had a young kid who was really genuinely excited, and another of about 13 who was trying to be a bit cool about it but was still very into the whole thing.

I'll never forget their kindness. It made what would have been a really unbearable day actually quite jolly.

Hang in there. It will get better.

I'm 61 and spending my first Christmas alone. I was divorced in May after an almost 40 year marriage.30 years of no physical affection. He always said he wasn't really interested in sex but low and behold younger women now on the scene.It is shit.Where did I go wrong? So sorry for your loss.

@MumOfOneAllAlone I wrap my own presents as well. When my ds was four he got upset because Father Christmas hadn't brought mummy any presents so he tried to give me half of his. So I started buying little things, hand cream, a new mascara etc to wrap and give me something to open while he opened his.

It turned into a regular thing. As a single mum money can be tight but I now treat myself every year and it feels good. He's old enough to buy me presents now, but treating myself as well as him is an important ritual. It says I am just as deserving and it's good to recognise that.

You didn't go wrong. Your dh just turned into a lazy selfish git. Let's hope the new woman nags him when he tries to do the same to her, which he will. 😁

I'm 61 and single, and oddly, discovering a bit of a purple patch of being asked out. Suddenly there seem to be a number of fit and cheerful single men around.

So in the new year, treat yourself to a makeover, and take on a couple of new hobbies. Light hearted dating when there is no pressure to achieve anything other than a decent night out is fun.😊

You’re grieving, OP, and I think that the first two years are very hard. That’s how it was for me when I lost my Mum. You will come to terms with her loss eventually, but be kind to yourself, it takes time to grieve. 💐

Virtual flowers and hugs to all those feeling lonely at this time of year.......

Please remember you're not on your own.....

@2025hope I'm sorry about your mum 💞

To the others who remember big noisy Xmases yes! It does feel strange being without older relatives, I used to have what felt like a trillion great Aunts. Well, 8.

I don't really have much family, remaining parent is not very with it and in a care home. I did get enjoyment out of dropping off Xmas presents for parent and sibling though and have good friends. Gone pretty much off men so no other half.

I'd second taking a little walk and putting on some carols if you like them.

Sorry I don't mean I hate men just that I'm not interested in a boyfriend at present!

I'm sorry you lost your mum so recently x I feel a bit sad and lonely too and have felt that way since my mum died nearly 8 years ago. I'm single and have no children and my dad and siblings live abroad. Mum used to make sure I was included by taking turns and coming here every other year but now the family abroad seem happy enough to leave me here with our 88 year old nan who can't travel. I can't go without her, I just can't leave her here all by herself but it makes for a crappy Christmas. But...I've survived the other years and I can get through this one too x Hopefully, in time, even though still a little sad, funny little stories about your mum at Christmas will pop into your head and make you smile x

So sorry for your loss OP. It’s a tough time. We are a family of just four now, I missed all the wonderful family members that are no longer here.

Merry Christmas to to everyone on this thread and 🥂 to absent friends.

I am sorry for your loss but have just read a comment on another thread. A poster’s partner has kicked her out and she’s trying to find a hotel so count your blessings. You’re not actually alone.