Is there any reason connected to death why someone needs to be in Zimbabwe on a specific date?

[MinnieMountain]

Asking for a friend.

Her colleague booked a/l for a wedding in her home country of Zimbabwe. She’s now extended it, saying she has to be in the country on a specific date in December for something connected with the deaths of her DM and DB a few months ago.

Is there any actual thing that anyone can think of that would require this? She’s now the head of her family.

Friend asked me if I might know as I’m a solicitor. She and her other colleagues are annoyed as they’re ICU nurses and other colleague is being vague, so they can’t tell if it’s a genuine reason or not.

Does it matter? If she has the annual leave can't she take it without having to explain herself ?

Is it not a ceremonial/religious/cultural event that occurs x days after death? I know some cultures have things like that, I'm of a mixed heritage and in one culture there is a specific number of days after a death that a large event is held. A bit like a wake, as that isn't held traditionally at the time of the burial.

The only person who needs to know if it's genuine or not is her line manager.

It’s not their business.

Maybe there are issues that need sorting with the will/their possessions and it's easier to do it in person so she (quite reasonably) has decided to do it all in one go rather than having to make two trips, plus perhaps the necessary solicitors, government department etc are closed until after the new year?

If she's lost both her DM and DB over the last few months, perhaps it's worth cutting her some slack, unless she's got a history of elaborate reasons why she needs to take extended leave every Christmas?

It could be a church service to celebrate the life of her relatives. They are big where I come from and often happen sometime after the death.

It is none of these colleagues business.

It's between her and her manager. Noone else.

It's nobody else's business and I wouldn't be speculating or casting doubt over it to those colleagues, it looks petty. If her annual leave has been approved then it's tough shit for everyone else, take it up with the manager if they're going to struggle.

It could be a million things: reading the will, selling property, a religious ceremony... who knows? But if she has AL to take, it's her business and her line manager's

It's nobody else's business but in my culture we hold a memorial prayer service a few weeks after the funeral.

Is your friend this person’s manager? I find it really odd, both of you trying to find this out.

Unless there are other issues, what's the problem?.
If she wants to take her holiday entitlement to stay a bit longer in her home country where she has close loved ones who have just died and other loved ones who are alive, then just leave her to get on with it.

Zimbabwe is rather a long way away. If there are two specific family reasons why someone would need to be there, then it would make sense if both events are one after the other. Perhaps the second event has been arranged for that date because the person will be in the country anyway. Doesn't seem all that unreasonable to me.

Why do they need to know?
Is her leave conditional on their approval?

This reason is used in that part of the world (where I am from) as reason for not doing other things - some times may not be true reason.

...nurses are annoyed...
Well, as ever, the 'caring' professionals stick the knife into a colleague.
Clearly, they do not believe this person, and it is shameful that they are getting 'a friend' to ask you to post on a public forum to ask if her reason is valid. If they are so taxed about this, they can google it, or challenge her to her face.
You would have thought that a profession as multicultural as nursing would understand differences and norms, but no, easier to think they a colleague is swinging the lead.
Please tell your friend that she and her colleagues are so very uncharitable and uncaring. Great traits for nursing.

What has Zimbabwe got to do with it?

There are lots of things you'd arrange to do around close relatives' deaths the next time you are in the country - could be religious, cultural, social, to do with will, property, family responsibilities.

It's obviously more sensible to do whatever it is now than fly out twice.

I'm really shocked that her colleagues think they have a right to all the details.

If the deaths were a few months ago it could be an inquest. As I recall inquests do not happen straight away in UK perhaps it’s the same there

Scattering ashes as all the family are there perhaps?

Possibly wanting to get away from these over nosey and catty colleagues?

Friend didn’t ask me to ask on MN. She asked me last night if I have any idea, so I’m curious too.

Colleague has stayed past her approved a/l dates and the hospital is crazily busy right now, so I can understand why she’s a bit annoyed.

Anyway, thank you PP for the helpful input.

Agree it's none of their business.

That's two horrendous bereavements to have so close together. Not only is a lot to deal with emotionally but I'm guessing that dealing with two estates is an administrative nightmare. Cut the poor woman some slack - your friend may also one day need some grace shown to her in a time of crisis.

I can't imagine being this involved in one of my colleagues taking leave in a different country and extending it due to something surrounding the death of people close to them. Sounds like a toxic work environment and verging on bullying. I also don't believe for one second that you've posted this on behalf of a friend.

This is not the business of either you or your colleagues. If her line manager has approved the leave then that's the end of it.

Stop being so nosey.