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Original poster

How/when do we stop Christmas traditions for adult DCs?

109 replies

tulippa · 23/12/2024 11:58

DD is 20 next month, in her first year at uni, and is back for the Christmas break. We have continued with a stocking and the usual spending budget on presents as we have throughout her childhood. We also carried on with the advent house we fill each day with small chocolates which were saved up for her when she came back last week. And we're continuing with other things we've always done like films, the way we decorate the tree etc.
I was wondering yesterday how long we carry this on for? Will it be weird if we stop next year for her and carry things on for DS (16)? If we stop for both, that's not fair on DS who will miss out four years of stocking presents etc. I don't want to be wrapping stocking presents for her when she's 30.
Has anyone else encountered this and, if so, how did you manage it?

OP posts:
TheFormidableMrsC · 23/12/2024 14:27

I can't see myself stopping. It's all part of the joy. Kids are 26 and 13. Only one at home.

rewilded · 23/12/2024 14:27

My DDs are not interested in getting them now at 19 and 20 years old so we have stopped. One actually said to stop giving her one. Grin

Ahwig · 23/12/2024 14:28

When my grandson became 18 I asked him if he was now too old for stockings. He looked me straight in the eye and holding both my hands said " nana I will never be too old for stockings " so that's me still doing 4 forever the . Son, daughter in law, husband and grandson. I think they actually live that rather than the actual presents

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doodleschnoodle · 23/12/2024 14:29

My mum did a stocking for me every year until she died. It was one of the best parts of Christmas! I plan to do same with my DC. No one is too old for a stocking!

JoanOgden · 23/12/2024 14:37

My parents stopped buying Advent calendars for us when we went to secondary school! Stockings continued until our late 20s which felt too late; by then we could afford our own bits and bobs and didn't want any more, but we didn't have the heart to tell our mother.

So for me early/mid 20s feels like the right time to end stockings, but clearly lots of people feel differently which is equally fine.

mamaduckbone · 23/12/2024 14:41

My SIL still does stockings for anyone who is home for Christmas - this can now include 2 dc, 2 step dc and assorted other halves. It's a bit epic though.
I have the same dilemma with a 15yo and a 19yo - I've still done stockings for both this year and can't see myself stopping any time soon. I like the idea of including them in the magic - maybe when they actually have some money they can do me a stocking - I'd love that!

LifeExperience · 23/12/2024 14:41

My adult children won't be here in Florida this Christmas (they drove 16 hours home a few weeks ago for Thanksgiving) so we won't do our traditions together. We've decided this year that in lieu of gifts we will give charitable donations in each other's names.

If they were going to be here we would continue our adult traditions of mass on Christmas Eve with a party for friends later and gifts Christmas morning with cinnamon coffee cake and dinner with extended family later on Christmas day. Without the children we will skip the gifts but still have Christmas dinner with other family.

mamaduckbone · 23/12/2024 14:43

LatteLady · 23/12/2024 12:06

I am 66 and I do stockings for friends who are on their own for Christmas... I did it with my sister until she died aged 72. There is no cut off, you just do what you can afford for as long as you feel comfortable.

I love this! What a kind and thoughtful person you are.

mamaduckbone · 23/12/2024 14:46

EmpressaurusKitty · 23/12/2024 12:23

I can’t remember when exactly, but at some point we changed it so that the stockings became a bit like Secret Santa. There’s a £30 budget & each person does one stocking for someone else, apart from the usual presents.

I love this idea when they become adults.

We do a charity shop secret Santa with Dh's family - £5 limit and HAS to be for a charity shop. There have been some hilarious gifts over the years.

Original poster
tulippa · 23/12/2024 14:52

Right then that's settled. I'll just carry on as normal as long as they're here for Christmas. We suggested mixing up the order of Christmas films the other day and DS was horrified!
So it's Elf as normal tonight, breakfast at our favourite brunch place on Christmas Eve followed by book giving and hot chocolate in the afternoon and Muppets Christmas Carol before bed. Grin

OP posts:
ARichtGoodDram · 23/12/2024 14:55

MIL still does stockings for DH & BIL, as well as SIL & I. She also buys us advent calendars.

I do MIL’s stocking but DH’s granny insists on giving me the money for it. She pays them for all her adult children and their spouses still and woe betide you if you suggest she shouldn’t. The fact her son is a great-grandad is no reason for her to stop yet apparently 😂😂

SleepingisanArt · 23/12/2024 15:36

I sent mine advent calendars when they were at uni and they opened them on the right day. Neither live at home now but I ask every year if they'd like one - this year one said yes and one said no. Both get the same spent on presents - one lives overseas so were sent their presents, the other is coming on Christmas day so will have theirs then. I received an advent calendar from my Mum up until her death a few years ago - even though I was in my 50s I was still her child....

Brefugee · 23/12/2024 15:39

mine are well into their 20s. I have made each of them a reusable advent calendar which they both use. We have stockings, presents, films, food etc exactly as we always have (with allowances for visits to boyfriends families, and work schedules). I guess this may change if they have children, but until then, we'll carry on.

DilemmaDelilah · 23/12/2024 15:42

We stopped doing Christmas stockings when our youngest was 30. However she is coming here for Christmas with her little boy and everyone but her would have had a stocking, so I'm doing a little one for her this year (she's 40 now!)

TheFormidableMrsC · 23/12/2024 22:38

We didn't do stockings when I was a child, it was never a thing in our family. I took it up when my ex-MIL did it. I've just finished my kid's stockings, I hope they'll be pleased! I can't believe I'm still buying Hello Kitty trinkets for an adult 🙃

Alittlebitfluffy · 23/12/2024 23:15

tulippa · 23/12/2024 11:58

DD is 20 next month, in her first year at uni, and is back for the Christmas break. We have continued with a stocking and the usual spending budget on presents as we have throughout her childhood. We also carried on with the advent house we fill each day with small chocolates which were saved up for her when she came back last week. And we're continuing with other things we've always done like films, the way we decorate the tree etc.
I was wondering yesterday how long we carry this on for? Will it be weird if we stop next year for her and carry things on for DS (16)? If we stop for both, that's not fair on DS who will miss out four years of stocking presents etc. I don't want to be wrapping stocking presents for her when she's 30.
Has anyone else encountered this and, if so, how did you manage it?

I still get the stocking from my mum and I'm 37 if this helps 😅😅

Only child though...

Elizo · 23/12/2024 23:18

tulippa · 23/12/2024 11:58

DD is 20 next month, in her first year at uni, and is back for the Christmas break. We have continued with a stocking and the usual spending budget on presents as we have throughout her childhood. We also carried on with the advent house we fill each day with small chocolates which were saved up for her when she came back last week. And we're continuing with other things we've always done like films, the way we decorate the tree etc.
I was wondering yesterday how long we carry this on for? Will it be weird if we stop next year for her and carry things on for DS (16)? If we stop for both, that's not fair on DS who will miss out four years of stocking presents etc. I don't want to be wrapping stocking presents for her when she's 30.
Has anyone else encountered this and, if so, how did you manage it?

I’m late 40s and my mum still does my stocking 🤣 Why are you stopping? Unless everyone isb’t enjoying it

NauseousNancy · 23/12/2024 23:25

I’m 37 and have two children of my own and my mum still does me a stocking and buys me loads of presents, and does all the little cute things she did when I was younger. Gets us all an advent too! She does the same for my kids, husband, siblings and partners - my dad has said she should stop and just do it for the kids, but she refuses and says that I am her kid and that doesn’t stop because I’m a grown up now.

Not going to lie it makes me feel all warm and special and I love and appreciate it.

Emeraldiisland · 24/12/2024 00:03

My mum stopped about 5 years ago. So I was about 40. She used to do advent calendars and stockings
DH and I do each other a stocking now and for our teens (18 and 16) and I don't plan on stopping anytime soon.
We watch Christmas films in Christmas Eve and will probably do this until the kids have other plans.
On the other hand MIL stopped everything, other than main presents when her children left home.
No right or wrong just what works for your family.

LoafofSellotape · 24/12/2024 00:10

Ds is 24 and I buy him and his gf advent calendars, you've never seen anyone so happy as when I gave her one too 😂

Everyone has stockings . Won't be stopping anything anytime soon on this house.

DreamingOfASilentNight · 24/12/2024 00:26

I'm 49 and still get a stocking from my parents. It's usually only silly little bits, cotton wool, a pair of socks, knickers or gloves, sweets in tubes, Christmas tea towel . Last year I got bottle of gin in it instead. My adult children get them. My husband gets one from me and he's in his 60s. Everyone has an advent calendar too. It's just a relatively inexpensive fun silly thing

Tearsricochet · 24/12/2024 00:31

My kids are still tween/teen but I’ve no intention of stopping 🤣

ToomanyMilesAway · 24/12/2024 00:47

Whoever is staying in the house on Christmas Eve still gets a stocking !

Beautifulsunflowers · 24/12/2024 08:06

socks1107 · 23/12/2024 12:16

When they move out I'll stop. Mine are 21 and 18 and will still have a stocking.
Equally if they stay at boyfriends or friends they don't get one, only if they are here

This!!
My boys are 23 and 18 and I've continued all the traditions but at 23 my ds now has a girlfriend and last year and this year she's woken up on Christmas morning with us so gets a stocking as did MIL last year when she stayed.

My parents did a stocking to open at their house on Boxing Day for all the grandchildren which stopped at 18. My niece is the only one left getting a stocking this year so we've done one for our parents instead! Maybe this will be our new tradition?!

Growsomeballswoman · 24/12/2024 08:07

I'm well into my 40s and my mum does me a stocking every year 😂