A thread for those who are struggling this Christmas.

[LaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaa]

Morning all,

I know Christmas isn’t a joyful time for all of us, I am struggling due to a recent bereavement and the loss of a sibling ten years ago so just trying to put a brave face on for the kids.

If you are struggling for any reason, this is the place for you.

Raising a glass for our missing loved ones this Christmas

I lost my grandad 14 years ago on boxing day and my nan on new years eve 2 years ago. I'm really struggling this year. Doesnt help that i am working a long day at work on Christmas day either (im NHS) so cant really have a Christmas.

Hugs for all xx

I’m sorry to hear about your losses, and hope you do get some time to relax over the next few days.

Sending you a hug right back xx

I'm fed up this year,all seems to have gone wrong for us just lately so just trying to make the best of things 🍷for everyone.

I’m another one who’s working all over Christmas which means I’ll struggle to celebrate at all. Added to that I’m single and live a long way from my friends, and my extended family have all decided to celebrate in times and places that I can’t get to due to said work. They seem to think my work is unimportant or optional and wouldn’t think to plan round it so that I can join in. The only way I could see them at all would be to drive a 6-hour round trip in a day when I’ve just worked a night shift, which would be utterly unsafe.

So it’ll be a very quiet one. Which I don’t mind on some level. My main problem at the moment is fending off well meant questions from colleagues about what I’m doing for Christmas and gently turning down invitations to join them - in my fairly extensive experience of this, the one thing I find lonelier than spending Christmas on my own is being the charity case at someone else’s family Christmas. But I can’t stand the pity when people find out I’m going to be alone.

I am generally happy with my life and love being single, it’s just at Christmas it gets me down a bit.

Absolutely not terrible but I AM struggling. I'm usually the Queen of Christmas. Come one, come all, love and light personified. This year I've lightened my load because I have bipolar disorder and I'm sliding into an episode. My family and care coordinator can see it and are taking care of me but I hate it. I also have an acquired brain injury so im wobbly, deaf, dont think straight, oversensitive and hate that I'm now Fragile, making my grown up DC feel they have to look after me. I also have toothache and a cold. I want to be strong, capable and fabulous again!!!

I struggle every year because both me and my sister want to spend it with Mum except we can't stand each other - I only go for a few hours but I find it painful

I'm on my own this year. I'm single and childless. One sibling has gone on holiday the other has invited my parents (but not me) to stay for Christmas. Parents made it clear that they would have a better time with sibling (who has a large extended family) than me so have gone there.
Oh and they have all decided to not do presents this year. So no Christmas for me at all. Fuck um.

That seems very cruel @notanothernamechange24 I'm sorry

@Duvet18 I completely understand what you’re saying. While the invitations are meant with kindness, I would feel uncomfortable too and would choose to stay home. Is there anything nice you can plan for yourself on the day? Chocolates and a favourite film perhaps?

@notanothernamechange24 that’s really awful. I’m sorry they’ve done that. Again I wish you a peaceful day and hope you find time to do something nice for yourself.

@MaMisled you must be wonderfully strong and capable to have raised such caring children. Let them look after you for a while, and I hope you’re feeling much better and more fabulous next year.

@ExhaustedHousewife I hope things get easier for you soon x

@ValleyClouds again hope you have some nice things planned for yourself over the next few days, and your family visit isn’t too painful.

I’ll be glad when it’s all over this year.

LaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaa
Thank you and the same to you,here's to a great 2025 🍾for all of us on here.

I find every Christmas hard, this is the first year I'm admitting it to myself. Which is making it both harder but more manageable, if that makes sense.

Christmas is a tough time of year for a variety of reasons. I’m always glad when it’s over. I’ve got lots of nice food in the fridge, just off to buy some nice coffee.
Here's to a good 2025 for all.

I lost a parent on New Year's Day just before lockdown and the week before was truly awful as I could tell they were just hanging on so as not to ruin Christmas. It was so very sad.

I haven't been able to get into the Christmas spirit for a good couple of years but I'm good at masking. I'm not pushing myself this year to try and be the upbeat one around everyone else. I've been ill myself and I just don't have the energy.

@MrsLeonFarrell sending you gentle hugs x

@SauvignonBlonk ive just returned from the supermarket where I treated myself to some nice coffee! I’ve got a book I’d like to read so I’m looking forward to hunkering down. My children are a bit older now so I’ll have time to myself later in the day while they game I imagine.

@Goatblu I am so very sorry for your loss. That sounds really traumatic, please be extra kind to yourself over the coming days x

I also struggle at Christmas
Not alone have parents /partner but lost my Nan who was my best friend 4 years ago
She loved Christmas so much and we had such a good time
She would start the Christmas countdown in October and loved coming over
She was 96 when she passed away but doesn't make it easier

@ohholynightt I’m sorry for your loss, your nan sounds wonderful and Christmas must feel very different without her. I hope you manage to carry on some of her traditions and have a peaceful Christmas x

I will wake up alone, plan on heading to the beach with the dog. Kids home at 2 on Xmas day. I've been alone all weekend. So tired of everything

Thank you for the thread and lots of love to
Everyone xx

That sounds really tough @fluckityfluckfluck. How old are your children? Xx

16,14 and 12. My family are in another country too. The storm blew down my garden gate today. It is just endless. So tired of doing everything and feel like every step forward is followed by three back. Sorry. I need a slap, being very self indulgent

It's so hard.

I lost my Dad just over a month ago, mum had a stroke in the spring and is a shell of who she was, her living circumstances fragile and us giving me and my siblings so much anxiety.

I miss my Dad every day and just not feeling anything.

2024 has been an absolute w*nker.

Had 2 back to back miscarriages this year - one was due mid Nov and the other due Xmas Eve so either way I should have a tiny baby here and I don’t. The second MMC almost killed me so I should be happy to be here but my brain can’t see it that way. Just want to get through Xmas to be honest and would rather fuck off somewhere else or the rage makes me want to set fire to the tree and smash everything up

thank you for this thread - saying that out loud was very cathartic!

huge hugs for everyone else struggling ❤️

A guy I have been seeing for 18 months started to go cool with me on Saturday, completely out of the blue. Messages tailed off....didn't call.... wouldn't answer the phone. We live 3hrs apart each with family responsibilities (his to his kids, & me my mum). I completely respect his family commitments and would never overstep there. I just want him to be happy.

I've tried to get in touch with him, he's online but ignoring my messages. He's completely frozen me out and I have no idea why.

It's so painful. I've begged him to tell me what I've done....I feel ashamed I've begged so much.

I'm smiling and saying all the right things but inside I feel broken. It feels so cruel.

Sorry to those who have had losses this year or losses around this time of year… there’s no need to put on a big smile throughout Christmas. There are probably some around you who also feel the loss - thinking of you all at a wobbly time.

@notanothernamechange24 go and do your own Christmas thing. You have the ultimate freedom to choose only things you’d love doing, your enjoyment of the festive period does not have to rely on others. I hope you realise soon that the mean behaviour only reflects upon them, not you.

I’m sorry to hear that some of you are having such a hard time. Your entire life isn’t defined by this one day, or the days either side, even if all the marketing rubbish and ridiculous pressure/expectations make it feel that way ❤️