Is she pregnant? Or am I wishful thinking? *Lighthearted*

[KendraTheVampyrSlayer]

Close relative, who recently got married. She already has a 2 year old and we know they want more, just don't know when.

She's a massive drinker, has a bit of a reputation for it. She's recently given up drinking. She says she hates what it does to her body and how she acts when drunk. (Reasonable). And she has given it up for a months at time before.

Saw her yesterday and she's put on weight, she herself was bemoaning this and saying she's eating more because she's not drinking. Says she's going to diet in the new year.

But at one point her toddler was throwing a tantrum and hitting her. She quietly said to her, "We don't hit Mummy's boobs, you know they're sore." And that one comment has made me think she's in the early stages of pregnancy.

What do we think? Am I reaching? 😂

(This is lightheaded speculation. She has no fertility issues and it's no secret she and her DH want more kids).

Could her boobs be sunburnt?

Shell tell you if she wants you to know, for now respect her privacy

🤣 no. She hasn't been holiday for a while, and doesn't use sunbeds. Good call though.

I know. That's why I said lighthearted. She's my DSD btw, and we're all close.

😂

I understand this is lighthearted but you may want to see this from a different perspective. If she is a ‘massive’ drinker, she may have recognised she has a problem with alcohol and be in recovery.

Having gotten sober myself, it’s a real bug bear of mine that people assume, because I am a woman and not drinking, I must be pregnant and, as such, my appearance, mannerisms, etc are scrutinised to back up that assumption.

I mean this kindly, as I see the spirit of your post, perhaps your energy would be better spent exploring how you may support her in her sobriety regardless of the reasons.

Pardon?

Sounds like she is (and is doing am utterly rubbish job of concealing it!!)

I'd expect a Christmas day announcement.

My boobs get sore when I’m due on my period so could be that and not pregnancy related.

That said, I was suspicious of my SIL a couple of years ago when we met up just before Christmas for similar reasons; not drinking alcohol, tummy looked larger, was drinking decaf coffee. I knew they wanted more kids. I didn’t say anything but on Christmas Day she and DB announced the pregnancy to everyone!

As someone who's entire family have been talking about my plans to conceive in January against my wishes, I can tell you that "light-hearted" as this may be, it's out of order to be judging her weight gain, sobriety or anything else!

If she wanted you to know you'd know. Maybe you aren't as close as you think.

I know I certainly trusted my mother with my plans and she's shared with the family so will no longer be informed despite how "close" we are.

She could be. But unless/until she says anything I'd just try to put it out of your mind. I was pregnant very recently and had a few colleagues/family members not so subtly hinting at it as we got closer to the 12 week scan and I was getting quite noticeably rounder. Unfortunately at the scan we had a missed miscarriage. I know they meant well but knowing people were still speculating was really uncomfortable.

Bit much to post a whole thread about the poor girl

Why on earth would you create a post about this, lighthearted or not? You wouldn’t be the first person to guess someone is pregnant before they’ve told you so where do you get off on posting about it like you’re some sort of super sleuth? Speculating on a public forum about her?

Honestly - find something better to do.

Posting about your husband's daughter's very personal business, even her breasts, on a website used by millions seems very strange.

You can put lighthearted in the post title all you want, this is a horrible taste thread and if you'll post this on an online forum I dread to think what a raging gossip you are in real life.

You sound like my MIL, who has made my three late losses a hundred times worse with all of her speculation and 'symptom spotting'

Why have you posted this publicly, I’d be mortified!

I hope your DSD doesn't read this

Oh well, I knew this would descend into "you're the antichrist, how dare you post anything about anyone on a public forum". 😂

It really was meant completely lighthearted. I mentioned it to my youngest dd earlier (who is 18 btw, before anyone has kittens) and she said she thought the same thing. DSD hasn't suffered any losses, had no trouble conceiving, yes we are close, I've been her SM since she was 2, (now 32). If she is pregnant and hasn't told anyone yet it's because she wants to make an announcement.

I haven't even mentioned it to DH. No she won't read this as MN is "old" to her.

Not a good look to try to play a victim, no one called you an antichrist.
The majority of people think it's not in good taste to be posting about this woman's alcohol problem, private life and boobs.

If you knew then why post?

It doesn’t matter what your DD thinks - the fact you felt compelled to post on MN is plain weird. What did you expect? Everyone to fall over to agree with you? The only person who knows if she’s pregnant is your DSD. So what have you got to gain by posting?

There is a massive difference between having a speculative conversation at home and creating an entire post about it on MN.

It's not even slightly light hearted to post this, and in poor taste imo

On behalf of someone who constantly has people pass comment on her fertility or presumed lack of:

FUCK RIGHT OFF AND MIND YOUR OWN SODDING BUSINESS.

If you haven’t been told that a woman is pregnant, then unless you can actually see a baby coming out of her, always assume she isn’t pregnant. Hormone treatments, including for infertility, can mimic the symptoms. Making the wrong assumption under those circumstances could cause someone a lot of pain. Gossiping about someone is as bad as saying it to her face, so don’t excuse it by saying you wouldn’t dream of saying it to her directly.

Oh FFS! As someone who DID suffer from fertility issues, this wouldn't bother me coming from a parent.

@HeyPrestoVinegar can you quote where I played the victim?