Things your parents do

[rosemole]

They never hang up after a call and I can always hear them bickering in the background afterwards.

What else?

Just accept that they are old and useless and know nothing. I mean-they must at bear least 50 and have not more right to live on God's green earth than a weasel.....

Peter Kay has jokes about this

I thought my mum was the only one 😂 and she is the only person who calls the landline.

This drives me round the bend

Directions through Birmingham. "You know the little row of shops by Aston?" "By the garage where I got the Austin 1100?" "You know where that bricks works used to be?"

NO. I AM NOT 80 YEARS OLD AND GO TO BIRMINGHAM ABOUT ONCE EVERY 5 YEARS.

Also, "I saw Aunty Maureen on Tuesday. Or was it Wednesday? Well, it wasn't Friday because I went to the butchers on that day". It doesn't matter which day it was!

Mum says she'll ring about something at some point . Then won't but will WhatsApp about something totally different

I'll have a conversation with mum and she'll say oh your dad and I going for a meal with John and Sue on Thursday. I know of course who John and sure are. (I don't! ) I then say to dad oh mum says you're going out with John and Sue on Thursday. Dad goes oh are we.

Completely self absorbed.

They have been divorced for 30 years, rarely see each other but are the same.

Totally self absorbed. Zero interest in me, my kids or our lives.

But feel I should know about the fucking pigeons, seagulls, squirrels, neighbours dog, neighbours daughters/sons, parcels and what day they got their washing on the line.

Never phone/text:whatsap. If I didn’t contact either of them, I would never see them again.

Problem with this is that one gets accustomed to what follows next. As in, "Oh you know so and so (pause for me to confirm either way and God help me if I don't know because she'll say it again but louder and tell me I do know them) well she / he died".

Thus, she would occasionally catch me out by saying "Oh you know so and so", in the same tone and voice as always, and I'd said "Oh dear, have they died?" to which she'd snap "NO! WHY WOULD YOU EVEN THINK THAT?". 😅

My mother refers to online shopping as “sending away for it on the computer”.

I still say I "send off" for anything that I purchase online...is this not the right term?

My neighbour's latest attempt at stopping everything right in its tracks was to block Paypal from sending her any text messages as part of the verification process she is sometimes asked to follow online. She didn't like or trust it, apparently, and no amount of explanation on my part would convince her to unblock the number.

You can guess how it all kicked off the next time she saw something she liked on Ebay.

I don't have my parents now and I'm loving these stories, especially the cute ones

Descriptions of EVERYTHING! it's never just sausage and mash. It's loners leek and apple sausages with creamy mash with leeks in a cheese sauce with mustard... lovely cardigan, edge to edge with a fluted collar and 3 buttons

Bless her!!

She also likes to answer my texts on her smartwatch using the suggested replies. Love it when I sent her a long message updating her on a recent health concern of mine, or some important issue regarding the dc, only to get a reply back saying 'Sure!' 🤔.

Ah my dear departed mum did this with her mobile. I’d text her something or leave a voicemail asking her something and I’d get a reply all in caps saying “ANSWER IS YES” like I’d just asked the bloody Magic 8 Ball rather than my mother 🙄😂

Oh God- this!

When I go into town with my mum she has to read out all the shops she can see. I have no idea why, but I do have eyes myself mum 🤣 drives me mad.

Emotional blackmail and guilt tripping.

These are brilliant. Wonder what our kids will say about us!

My dad calls the internet ‘the website’.

”Did you see the article on the website?” Er…

They ask every time they see me if I watched XXX last night. I tell them every time that I don’t watch television. They still ask. I have never seen XXX. Ever.

Also, every time they visit and I make tea they ask if the mugs are new. “Oh, you’ve got new mugs!” Every time. I tell them they are the same mugs I’ve had for years. “Hmph!” They don’t believe me.

My dad thinks that a) I’m impoverished, and b) buying yourself something nice is frivolous, wasteful and ‘careless’ with money.

I have to defend my mugs. Which just digs me into a deeper hole and makes them think I’m covering up my excessive mug buying. Which, a) I’m not, and b) would it REALLY matter if I was?

As I mentioned upthread I speak to my DF every day (he is 93) - he will always mention if he has just watched, is about to watch or watched earlier in the week Andre Rieu and did I watch it , am I about to watch it ?
He will then tell me which one it was , who the lovely guest singer was or mention that Anthony Hopkins was in the audience and Andre played a piece of music he had written and did I know that Anthony Hopkins was a very famous actor - how amazing is that , and he will ask me this every tine in the week I speak to him

or I will get told that there's been no Andre on this week, doesn't lo like he will be on this week, did I know he wasn't on this week .......

I started looking after my parents.
They always sat together watching the tv.
Then when I got there, my dad moved up to the counter to be with me while I cooked.
We’d chat.
He and my mum never talked.
Fifty-plus years of not talking, I guess Dad was ready to chat.
I loved that time with my dad.

• Disclaimer: They have money
• Sit in darkness when it's dark - too tight for lights
• Have the same shitty cutlery from the 80s
• Leave nice plates for best so use about 3 small plates from the 70s for day to day use
• All t-mugs are chipped (I bought new ones, they hid them - for Best)
• Never put cheese in tupperware so goes mouldy
• Watch BBC News24 all day
• Gossip about others, he said, she said
• Go one about 1 grandchild constantly, about how great they are despite having 6 other grandchildren
• forgetting the occasional child's birthday
• No use of computers, iPads whatsoever - some use of phones - minimal
• Never ever offer to babysit or help disabled child despite living 2 miles away

@rosemole you need to watch James B on TikTok:

everything from parking to the palaver of handwashing a jumper

vm.tiktok.com/ZGdhVUc88/

My sister would tell Mum things in confidence and then Mum would promptly tell me.
Every time.
I never told my mother anything I didn’t want anyone else knowing.
I’m sure Mum considered telling me as “keeping it a secret.”
I doubt my sister would have lol.

Blow by blow account of the traffic after any journey, no matter how long or short.
Trip to the supermarket? Every single detail.
Holiday on the continent? Every single detail. It's always the first feedback on the holiday when we ask. The journey there and/or back.
It's mind-numbingly dull and I always avoid asking about the journey if we meet up somewhere, but I can sense my father, uncomfortable withholding the vital information, positively itching to give me all the gory boring details. He hovers, waiting for an inlet, and BOOM he's off on his speech describing the grey ford focus veering off suddenly on the A573 towards Itching Bumtree.
They are in their 80s so I probably don't have too much longer of this but it is genuinely now something I dread.

OMG this. And which funeral is going to take place next week/week after. DM is a keen gardener and is on a repeat loop about every plant, flower and vegetable she has repotted, grown, been given or gifted (plant swapping seems a 'thing' where she lives), then we move on to what she has shopped for, baked, eaten, and next she will reiterate how 'lovely' the painter, boiler repair man, gardener, bin man, delivery drivers are and so it goes on, and on, and on. She means well, and I'm loathe to state any more annoyances as I'll probably end up exactly the same when I'm her age 🙈