Skipping school for period pain…?

[ChocolateTruffleAssortment]

I have always been fortunate & never experienced much period pain. I know some women do suffer.

DD after about a year of periods started finding them really painful & missing school for them. She then went on the pill which I thought would improve them but seems to mean they are just as painful but she has fewer of them - just having her first one this term.

trying to disentangle how genuine this is too - yesterday she missed college for the second day but her boyfriend came round & she went riding in the afternoon… so today when she wanted to miss a third day we were unsympathetic & made her go in…

anyway I guess my question is, a) surely at some point she has to suck it up & b) is there another option to make it easier for her - DH has suggested a mirena….

Wondering if anyone here has actually ever had a period based on responses.

I’d be crippled with period pain first thing until about 1-2pm and it would ease off to bearable until the following morning. This would last the first 2-3 days of my period. It was thoroughly miserable and debilitating.

When doctors have started to compare some women’s experience of period cramps as less painful than a heart attack perhaps we have to listen and believe women who struggle.

And if the daughter wants to skip college and lie about why, then that is her prerogative too.

I know it's not a lot of help if her options for college are limited, but could the long commute be aggravating her distress? I had atrocious periods. From 11-21, I'd have 1-3 days of sheer agony, (after 21, it was just grim.) From 16-19, I was at college, which I loved. I worked hard and was highly motivated, but the commute in during my first days was miserable. Buses in the 1980s had very basic suspension and smoking was allowed. . .🤢 But unlike your poor daughter, I only had half an hour on the bus, followed by a twenty minute walk, which helped to settle my stomach, at least during the good weather. Once I was in class, settled down in the warm with the teacher and other students, I was reasonably functional, but getting there was an ordeal.

At that time, the only way to submit homework, get marked work back and get notes etc for the next assignment was to go in in person. Can your daughter access any of the things she needs remotely, at least until her medical issues have been addressed?

Periods are horrific for a lot of teenagers and women. Until I was in my 40s, mine always lasted 10 days, were horribly heavy for at least 7 days, I'd have a temperature and, if I was out, often had to regularly stop and sit down somewhere so I didn't pass out. I'd also have such cripplingly bad back pain that I would take an entire packet of nurofen plus each day for the first three days, which did absolutely nothing for the pain. That being said, there wasn't an option to not go to school or work, so I did struggle through, but I can't say I was learning or productive on those days. It was a struggle to walk, move, sit or simply exist without screaming in pain.

So far, you say your DD is doing well in school, her attendance is good and she's never actually faked sickness before. Given this, if your DD says she's in pain, then believe she's in pain. If she were able to go horse riding, ask her where the pain is and whether it's worse at certain times of the day/cycle or when she does certain activities. Try to find something (whether that's drugs, heat or physical activity) that helps or manages the pain and take it from there. If I were her, I certainly woudn't find a 1.5hr commute comfortable in any way, shape or form.

Bad period pain is very debilitating and a reasonable reason to be off school. It is also true that the worst might have been over by the afternoon although if she had lessons then she could perhaps have attended.
She is at an age where she should be helped to make her own decisions about her health and managing her life even if they might not always be the 'right ' decision.
She should talk to her GP about her pill and when/ if she needs breaks.
Poor thing, it can be absolutely awful .

If the pain is severe and continues to be a problem please get her referred for further investigation while she's still under your care. It normally takes 10+ years for women to be diagnosed with endometriosis - you may as well start the process now.

Two of my friends suffered with terrible period pain throughout their lives, and ended up affected by infertility because of endometriosis in their 30s. One was able to conceive successfully via IVF, the other had multiple attempts that didn't work and has now adopted. Early diagnosis could have saved their fertility, or at least let them know sooner that they would need intervention.

I used to suffer with awful period pain, although with the max dose of co codamol and ibuprofen it wasn't too bad. I only ever missed school a couple of times but I did keep painkillers with me in my school bag which wasn't allowed. But if you want to matron with period pains, she would give you half a paracetamol tablet which didn't help at all.

I completely agree with this.

Dd2 (16) has probable endometriosis and the pain is off the scale. Max painkillers plus tens machine on max and she was still in a huge amount of pain for 3 weeks at a time. She has now been scanned and seen by a gynae consultant (after over a year's wait on 3 packs of pills at a time, ie one period every 9 weeks, which still meant pain for the last week of pills, a week of heavy bleeding and terrible pain, plus another week of pain once back on pill). She was prescribed a different pill to be taken continuously with no breaks. She loves it and is a different person. Her GCSE exams were hugely affected, she was in agony for many of them. It's no joke.

But yes, if she's well enough to go riding and see bf, she needs to go to college. Go to the GP and push for referral, OP. IF she is overegging the pain, it'll soon be clear but she may very well not be.

I had very painful periods but the cramps came in waves so I’d be alright for a bit and then all cramped up later on and rinse and repeat. This was usually only for two days but sometimes it went into a third. The pain isn’t necessarily continuous but when it hits you it hits badly. I was constantly in the nurses room in school as I couldn’t go home. I’d be inclined to see how she is on day 3 and to see if painkillers are strong enough to get her through a school day.

Didn’t mean to quote OP before anyone has a go at me.

My period pains can be quite intense for a few hours, vanishing for a while and come back with a vengeance later in the day so she may not be trying it on.

If her period pains are incapacitating even after OTC painkillers and the pill then she needs further medical support/investigation.

I don't think that "just take time off when you have your period" is ever the right solution, unless as a temporary measure while waiting for investigations. This approach also has the advantage of discouraging malingering for those who are that way inclined.