Page 19 | DD has been stuck on the M5 for 6 hours

GinForBreakfast · 2024-12-18T22:05:24+00:00

I know there's been a serious incident but you can't leave people stuck on a motorway for 6 hours. That will include elderly people and tiny children. In other countries they manage to clear the roads far quicker. No sign of anything moving and even once she does she's still 4 hours from home.

MildredSauce · 19/12/2024 08:36

GinForBreakfast · 19/12/2024 08:25

Thanks @MsNeis and others.

For others accusing me of leaving information out, I can't help what assumptions you made or if you didn't read the whole thread. I never said my DD was alone or the driver, I don't think I ever even mentioned her age. Tbh being stuck for 8 hours on the motorway is miserable whatever the circumstances (although I imagine the woman with two toddlers in the car next to hers wished she was alone!).

A few people have pointed out that we are so used to things just not working in this country that we just accept it. She cadged a lift for this journey because the trains have been so unreliable. We seem to just accept that schools and hospitals and GP surgeries and councils and transport systems and water companies and post office companies and dental services are dire and there's nothing we can do to fix them. In the meantime other countries seem to be able to deliver public services with minimal fuss.

You touched on lift. You had plenty of opportunities to expand on detail when everyone was giving advice on hotels. You ignored the direct question about whether your daughter was on her own.

Disingenuous. And now an attempt to deflect. Too late, love!

Original poster

GinForBreakfast · 19/12/2024 08:37

@losingweightandgainingconfidence I have no idea what the incident was and I don't go round ghoulishly speculating about it on social media, unlike some horrible little tragedy trolls on this thread. If it was me or my family involved the last thing I would want is for people to spread misinformation about it on random sites.

My heart goes out to anyone affected by tragedy, of course it does, as did DD's last night. I'm not going to labour that point for the empathy monitors on MN.

OP posts:

losingweightandgainingconfidence · 19/12/2024 08:37

CassandraWebb · 19/12/2024 08:33

@GinForBreakfast I expect most of these people hectoring you would be equally concerned for their own child in the circumstances you described

They're just trying to make themselves feel good by giving someone a kicking

No, most of them would not.

As i said last night, i got stuck at university on my commute back because of someone jumping in front of a train.

I told my mum i was annoyed, she tore me apart. Like she said, I'll still be getting home. That person won't be. The driver will be traumatised.

The problem with this society is everyone only cares about themselves.

losingweightandgainingconfidence · 19/12/2024 08:38

GinForBreakfast · 19/12/2024 08:37

@losingweightandgainingconfidence I have no idea what the incident was and I don't go round ghoulishly speculating about it on social media, unlike some horrible little tragedy trolls on this thread. If it was me or my family involved the last thing I would want is for people to spread misinformation about it on random sites.

My heart goes out to anyone affected by tragedy, of course it does, as did DD's last night. I'm not going to labour that point for the empathy monitors on MN.

It was on the news. Very easy to find out. It's not speculation and it doesn't make you a ghoul.

Santaclawws · 19/12/2024 08:40

losingweightandgainingconfidence · 19/12/2024 08:35

@Santaclawws the road had to be closed to carry out an investigation. What do you want them to do? Not investigate crashes?

Put the diversion in place as soon as they got to scene, start traffic management protocol quicker etc- they did all of this whilst maintaining the integrity of the scene but hours after it started.

Serencwtch · 19/12/2024 08:41

Jennyathemall · 19/12/2024 08:09

“Road traffic collision investigation is among the best & most thorough in the world” Considering how long they take I would hope so. That’s exactly the point.
The benefits of any investigation need be balanced against the impacts on the greater community. And no just because someone died and it is a potential crime scene doesn’t or rather shouldn’t give carte blanche to the police to shut the motorway indefinitely. And yes I do have empathy and yes if it were my relative I’d probably feel different but that’s the individual vs the mass. The needs of one person shouldn’t trump the needs of the wider community.

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The roads aren't closed indefinitely - just for the duration of the investigation. Handing the road back is always a priority & police are under time pressure to do that as quickly as possible. Roads are opened quickly compared with other crime scenes eg fatal stabbing.

Roads & cars have become safer due to changes & evidence from fatal collision investigation. The whole society benefits from this. You have no way of knowing if yours or your DC or other loved ones is one of the deaths that's been prevented.

Yes you would feel very differently if you were hearing the verdict of 'not guilty' for the dangerous driver who killed your DC when you knew they had walked away due insufficient evidence from a rushed investigation.

CassandraWebb · 19/12/2024 08:41

losingweightandgainingconfidence · 19/12/2024 08:37

No, most of them would not.

As i said last night, i got stuck at university on my commute back because of someone jumping in front of a train.

I told my mum i was annoyed, she tore me apart. Like she said, I'll still be getting home. That person won't be. The driver will be traumatised.

The problem with this society is everyone only cares about themselves.

Show quote history

Actually the problem with society is people not being able to express how they feel for fear of being got at.

You being annoyed or not wasn't going to help that person, just as op being worried or not wasn't going to help the person last night

People can feel more than one emotion at once and should be able to talk about difficult situations without being squashed by reminders that someone has it worse

fgsistwbotp · 19/12/2024 08:47

The information about her being in the car with her friend and her friend's dad should have been in the original post. The first post made it sound like she was alone which is a completely different scenario.
I have more sympathy for a young person stuck in a traffic jam for hours on their own than someone in a car with a friend and her dad and therefore not having to drive.
You then dripfed that it was a lift which got lost among all the people offering advice on the original scenario of her being alone in the car and much later on you said it was her friend and friend's dad.
You withheld the information from the first post, people started responding to that and then the true scenario was slipped in later. That's not on really because people have wasted their time trying to help you with suggestions based on a young person driving alone and stuck in a traffic jam.

MsNeis · 19/12/2024 08:49

Showerflowers · 19/12/2024 08:27

I've unfortunately been hospitalised after being stuck on the motorway for 5 hours several years ago. I'm disabled and was with my dh. I'm not mobile and use a wheelchair so I couldn't just pop out for a wee. I self catheterise but it's impossible in a car!. My bladder became so distended and I was in a lot of pain. Then I had a seizure.

There has to be measures put in place to clear motorway traffic in situations like this. I have every sympathy for the poor people involved in the accidents and I totally understand the need to close the road, but why don't we have contingency plans in place like other countries.

That is awful, I'm sorry you went through this 🙏💐

HolyPeaches · 19/12/2024 08:50

Sad circumstances around this thread - however has reminded me to make an emergency car kit in the boot, and urge other motorway using MN’ers to do the same.

Bottles of water, cereal/breakfast bars, phone charger/power bank, wipes, hand sanitiser, empty bottles to pee in, paracetamol, blanket, sanitary towels/tampons, nappy sacks (to put rubbish in).

Was once stuck on the M1 for almost 8 hours and could have done with emergency supplies.

CassandraWebb · 19/12/2024 08:51

Showerflowers · 19/12/2024 08:27

I've unfortunately been hospitalised after being stuck on the motorway for 5 hours several years ago. I'm disabled and was with my dh. I'm not mobile and use a wheelchair so I couldn't just pop out for a wee. I self catheterise but it's impossible in a car!. My bladder became so distended and I was in a lot of pain. Then I had a seizure.

There has to be measures put in place to clear motorway traffic in situations like this. I have every sympathy for the poor people involved in the accidents and I totally understand the need to close the road, but why don't we have contingency plans in place like other countries.

I'm so sorry that must have been truly horrible

Pancakeflipper · 19/12/2024 08:53

I think the OP can question if Highways could improve these situations to make it easier for the emergency services to deal with (accident scene, getting people not involved removed from area) and still have empathy for those involved in horrible incidents.

And that's what I thought her opening post was about.

Some posts on here are horrible.

MsNeis · 19/12/2024 08:54

fgsistwbotp · 19/12/2024 08:47

The information about her being in the car with her friend and her friend's dad should have been in the original post. The first post made it sound like she was alone which is a completely different scenario.
I have more sympathy for a young person stuck in a traffic jam for hours on their own than someone in a car with a friend and her dad and therefore not having to drive.
You then dripfed that it was a lift which got lost among all the people offering advice on the original scenario of her being alone in the car and much later on you said it was her friend and friend's dad.
You withheld the information from the first post, people started responding to that and then the true scenario was slipped in later. That's not on really because people have wasted their time trying to help you with suggestions based on a young person driving alone and stuck in a traffic jam.

What? I thought the point of the OP was to highlight and (rightfully criticise, imo) the injustice of abandoning people in motorways without providing any kind of help, whoever they are and whatever their circumstances.
Why are you focusing on the personal and unimportant details the OP may or may not want to share? Surely the scenario is quite clear (being stuck for 8 hours in the middle of the road without assistance), regardless of who is the person in question??

MsNeis · 19/12/2024 08:56

HolyPeaches · 19/12/2024 08:50

Sad circumstances around this thread - however has reminded me to make an emergency car kit in the boot, and urge other motorway using MN’ers to do the same.

Bottles of water, cereal/breakfast bars, phone charger/power bank, wipes, hand sanitiser, empty bottles to pee in, paracetamol, blanket, sanitary towels/tampons, nappy sacks (to put rubbish in).

Was once stuck on the M1 for almost 8 hours and could have done with emergency supplies.

Yes, I couldn't agree more 👍

CheriCheriLady · 19/12/2024 08:59

fgsistwbotp · 19/12/2024 08:47

The information about her being in the car with her friend and her friend's dad should have been in the original post. The first post made it sound like she was alone which is a completely different scenario.
I have more sympathy for a young person stuck in a traffic jam for hours on their own than someone in a car with a friend and her dad and therefore not having to drive.
You then dripfed that it was a lift which got lost among all the people offering advice on the original scenario of her being alone in the car and much later on you said it was her friend and friend's dad.
You withheld the information from the first post, people started responding to that and then the true scenario was slipped in later. That's not on really because people have wasted their time trying to help you with suggestions based on a young person driving alone and stuck in a traffic jam.

What the actual fuck? No lady, having company or not, no one should be stuck on a motorway in the cold with no food or drink and toilet facilities for 11 hours is ok!

Kmward36 · 19/12/2024 09:02

I ended giving birth to my second daughter in a motorway closure like this. Road was closed for around 5 hours and there was no hard shoulder. It was a nightmare and we couldn’t even get ambulance through for over an hour. Thankfully all was well and she’s 3 now!

CassandraWebb · 19/12/2024 09:04

CheriCheriLady · 19/12/2024 08:59

What the actual fuck? No lady, having company or not, no one should be stuck on a motorway in the cold with no food or drink and toilet facilities for 11 hours is ok!

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Exactly. We can feel huge sympathy for people stuck in that situation whilst also feeling sad for the person and their loved ones at the heart of the incident.

At best being stuck for that long is deeply unpleasant. At worst, for some,.it could be dangerous or traumatic

Porcuporpoise · 19/12/2024 09:04

why don't we have contingency plans in place like other countries

That's a fair question.

I think it will be a combination of factors - money (we pay comparatively little tax compared to countries generally noted for their effective integrated transport networks), high traffic density, lack of extreme weather (most of these sort of occurences are caused by snow for which we are always woefully unprepared both as individuals and institutions) and because extreme events like this (your poor daughter was really very unlucky to be stuck so long) are actually quite unusual.

Are there solutions? Yes, almost certainly. Is it worth the investment? Not sure.

housethatbuiltme · 19/12/2024 09:06

You know it might not just be broken cars/glass or dead people right.

The time it takes is extracting the trapped and critically injured, where any single wrong move could instantly kill them. Have you ever tried to reinflate a flattened car and cut off the roof around someone with fatal risk injuries like a shattered spine in their neck, impailments, collapased lungs, skull crush injuries and shrapnal injuries that can lacerate internal organs? without causing any movement to the victim, then once room is created you need to move them stably onto a board. Its not a quick process.

The persons life will often never be the same again even if they do survive where as tomorrow your DD will get where she going and go about life like nothing happened. Shes uncomfortable and unhappy but safe, she is not the victim in this.

losingweightandgainingconfidence · 19/12/2024 09:07

housethatbuiltme · 19/12/2024 09:06

You know it might not just be broken cars/glass or dead people right.

The time it takes is extracting the trapped and critically injured, where any single wrong move could instantly kill them. Have you ever tried to reinflate a flattened car and cut off the roof around someone with fatal risk injuries like a shattered spine in their neck, impailments, collapased lungs, skull crush injuries and shrapnal injuries that can lacerate internal organs? without causing any movement to the victim, then once room is created you need to move them stably onto a board. Its not a quick process.

The persons life will often never be the same again even if they do survive where as tomorrow your DD will get where she going and go about life like nothing happened. Shes uncomfortable and unhappy but safe, she is not the victim in this.

This, a million times over.

Franjipanl8r · 19/12/2024 09:07

This is exactly why I moved away from London - so I didn’t have to spend another single moment on the M25! Glad she got home safe in the end.

Franjipanl8r · 19/12/2024 09:09

housethatbuiltme · 19/12/2024 09:06

You know it might not just be broken cars/glass or dead people right.

The time it takes is extracting the trapped and critically injured, where any single wrong move could instantly kill them. Have you ever tried to reinflate a flattened car and cut off the roof around someone with fatal risk injuries like a shattered spine in their neck, impailments, collapased lungs, skull crush injuries and shrapnal injuries that can lacerate internal organs? without causing any movement to the victim, then once room is created you need to move them stably onto a board. Its not a quick process.

The persons life will often never be the same again even if they do survive where as tomorrow your DD will get where she going and go about life like nothing happened. Shes uncomfortable and unhappy but safe, she is not the victim in this.

Thank you for sharing this, it’s good to remember to be grateful and humble, especially at this time of year.

Sebsaloysius · 19/12/2024 09:11

The nature of our business means we have drivers on the road pretty much 24x7. Getting stuck for 4 plus hours is sadly, a too regular occurrence. However, any driver that is doing a journey of more than a couple of hours will always have emergency supplies with them, ie. snacks, water, warm clothes, chargers for tech etc - it's just basic common sense.

For the motorway to be shut for that long almost always indicates a fatality...your daughter may have been inconvenienced, but at least she will make it home, unlike some poor soul ahead of her. And any vulnerable individuals eg. the very elderly or young babies will not be left unattended - they will be assisted and recovered as necessary.

Comtesse · 19/12/2024 09:11

Yes motorways in France are well maintained - and drivers pay handsomely for the privilege.

We don’t pay tolls in this country in the most part and maybe that is reflected in the road conditions.

Roads in Belgium are a bit crap (no tolls) but roads in France are better (tolls). You get what you pay for!

SharpOpalNewt · 19/12/2024 09:12

losingweightandgainingconfidence · 19/12/2024 08:37

No, most of them would not.

As i said last night, i got stuck at university on my commute back because of someone jumping in front of a train.

I told my mum i was annoyed, she tore me apart. Like she said, I'll still be getting home. That person won't be. The driver will be traumatised.

The problem with this society is everyone only cares about themselves.

Show quote history

Being annoyed by a long delay doesn't mean you lack compassion for whoever is directly involved in the incident. Humans are capable of holding both concepts in their minds at once.