Do your young/mid teens buy gifts for you / their siblings and do they use their own money?

[Untery]

Curious how other family’s do this.

DD is an only child - honestly I’d rather she spent her money on herself rather than me! I don’t need gifts etc to feel appreciated, kind gestures or cards mean much more. When DH was in the picture he typically bought a present that would’ve been from both him and her, but this is quite a different situation IMO.

Yes ds17 and ds24 have since about 10 used their own money to buy us and each other gifts. Obviously when using pocket money gifts were small but they have always enjoyed doing it. Ds17 this year is doing all his Christmas shopping on vinted, so it might be interesting to see what we get!!

When they were teens they used their own money to buy DH and I gifts (usually they bought something together), and for each other but I paid for wider family (grandparents and uncle) gifts from them.

My 11 year old does, and has done for a couple of years.
They love thinking about what to get.
It's only little things though but it's very sweet 😍

Mine have started this at 17/18 now they have jobs.

I only have one, but yes, our 12 year old buys presents for me and his dad, and has been doing for a few years now, using pocket money and savings from handouts from grandparents and other relatives.

Mine do, just a small thing like nice chocolate, a candle or my favourite tea but it’s sweet of them.

If it’s something big (like a Spode tea set I received last year) then they go to the bank of papa!

Our kids used to go to Poundland (when things were actually £1) and buy family memebers something each. They had free choice of the whole shop which was lovely. As little kids, we paid.

Once teens with a bit more money…or later jobs, they still went there but paid themselves.

Its. It about validating the people who receive gifts but them learning to choose, thinking about others and feeling the (small) sacrifice of giving. Personally, I think even small kids can be encouraged to give little bits to charity etc and learn these values. They shouldn’t be reaching adulthood an.d have never put their hand in their own pocket to buy something for someone else, or think all their money is for fun.

Yes mine started once they were old enough to go shopping by themselves. Only a small gift though, chocolate, candles, socks, they know we wouldn't want them spending much on us.

I also agree that it's good to teach them to give gifts, not just receive. My kids genuinely enjoy choosing birthday and Christmas gifts for friends and family.

Ds and his family do a Secret Santa with a set limit and all three teenagers buy their gifts with their own money. The Secret Santa was introduced as a way of cutting down the number of gifts they were bought as they grew older and teaches them that Christmas is about more than just receiving.

Yes, but it's generally something small.
They buy presents for their friends; makes sense for them to get things for family.

Thanks. My dc tend to buy with own pocket money but I wasn’t sure if I should tell them not to and to save their money. Someone else I was speaking to specifically gives her kids cash to use to go buy the gifts. So I wondered if this was more normal. One of my dc is “skint” he says. And not sure what to buy. I told him to make me a music playlist and send to me, but I think he is keen to buy an actual gift.

I used to provide the cash, but now they both have revolut junior, and plenty of pocket money (and it's not like I'm expecting them to spend much), so they both sat down at the computer and picked things for each other/me.

I also think it's good to train them to think of others (including me - I'm conscious that as a single mother, I need to make sure they know to show care to the women in their life) and not just only receive/expect someone to organise it for them.

My 9 and 11 year olds have bought small presents for immediate family using their revolut cards. They enjoy the process and I think it's good for them to think about others.

Thanks. I really appreciate these responses. It confirms in my mind that this is the right thing

DD1 is nearly 11 and has chosen some presents for DD2, DS, DH and GPs. She spent my money for this but they’re from her.

When ours were little, probably around reception age upwards, dh and I would give each dc £5 per head to chose a gift for each family member. We would ensure time was put aside to take them shopping so that they could choose. I felt that it was important for them to learn budgeting from a young age.

Once they started getting pocket money, they were encouraged to save some of it for gifts, we would always make sure that they had enough though so they didn't have to miss out on something.

Now they all have their own money, either working or student loan, they set their own budgets and are actually very generous.

My 26 and 28 year old both live independently but buy presents for my husband and I jointly still.

They also buy for each other with a max £10 and they get stuff during the year from charity shops or car boots! Its aways really interesting to see what they get each other because it's always thoughtful items, not just random junk.

I know this year one of the gifts is a beautiful cookery book for DS (who loves cooking!) DD showed me because she was so happy shed found it and it only cost her 50p of her £10 budget!

Yes they use their own money. They earn more than I do!

Yes, I go 50:50 with her for what she spends on her friends as that reins her in a bit on her spending. And I expect a gift from her too it's not what she buys or how much it's about teaching about giving.

We have a WhatsApp group just for gifts so whenever we see anything we like we take a photo or put a link in. Generally mine is books - something relatively low cost, she'll pair it with a nice box of chocolates.

Mine do with pocket money but I often subsidise if they find something outside their budget. When they were younger I used to go shopping with them and pay the money. I would take each child separately, then their DH would take them again to pick a present for me. It was a pain and involved many trips but I think the main thing is thinking of each other's wants and needs. I think many kids never stop to think about what Mum or brother likes until Christmas time, it's not about money but about the thought. I also love seeing how excited they get about giving their gifts. It's also a great way to learn to budget. Last year DD spent almost her whole budget on a shirt for DH and was upset with the other gifts. This year she knew exactly what she had per person and now has experience of both successful and unsuccessful budgeting.

Mine do DS10 is very keen on buying for others, he genuinely likes it. DD13 does too although this years she's worried she hasn't bought enough and I tell her me and her dad would be happy with a card - she draws beautifully so she puts more attention into cards than the presents.

I give them £5 a week on their go Henry cards and my dad does too. I gave them some additional December spending money as they buy for immediate family and best friends.

It's been a mix, generally if they are earning & have generous nature, they want to buy gifts for family.

We saved our pocket money to buy little presents for parents and grandparents from about 9 years old

Yes, we introduced it very early on with us providing a £5, then sharing the cost and now they are teens/young adults they all pay themselves and put quite a lot of thought into the gifts they give.