Should absent fathers lose parental rights?

[Kibble29]

Not picking on men with the thread title; just using men as the subject as they are the most frequently absent parental figure.

Do you think that if a father has no contact with his child, pays no maintenance/contribution to their daily upbringing and essentially has chosen not to be a parent, they should then lose their parental rights after a period of time?

As I understand it, parental rights can be removed in rarer cases such as adoption or where the father has caused very serious harm to the child. But years of absence, lack of maintenance and general disinterest in knowing their child are not reasons.

I think it’s a muddy area as often children are given their father’s surname at birth. If the two parents are unmarried then the relationship ends and he wants nothing more to do with the child, how does the mother navigate things like taking the child on holiday?

You’d have a parent with a different surname to a child trying to leave the country. Surely that would trigger questioning at the airport.

Why should absent parents retain rights to a child that they have, in essence, rejected? Is it fair that someone can choose to relieve themselves of the financial aspects of parenthood, yet remain with a degree of control if they decide to pop up in the future?

Yes I think they should, but in a way, some do, depending on the circumstances.

Me and my DC have been no contact with their father for the last 8 years, he was found guilty of assaulting me in court and they did a no contact order so he isnt able to contact or communicate with me or the children. 2 years ago I was able to get a passport for them without needing his consent, I just sent a letter alongside the passport explaining the situation. I dont claim maintenence as hes on benefits and I'll never give him the satisfaction of being able to say he provides for my children ( its £28, it's nothing)

My friend changed her sons last name to hers and didnt have any issues doing that

I feel very sorry for the women whose exes pop in and out of their childrens lives, are financially abused by their ex and who cannot change their childrens last names ect, it must be very difficult

Yes they should as technically you have to get permission from the other parent if you go on holiday as a single parent, and if the father is absent it might be very difficult to get that, and going to the airport without is risking spending a lot of money on a holiday that you don't get to go on. And changing names, and even things like medical decisions can be tricky.

Taking a child on holiday with a different surname is really not an issue. And it's responsibility not rights. I'm not sure about the answer of your main question. PR is meant to be for the child not the parent.

Is it really that simple? Nobody question why an adult with a different surname is taking a child out of the country? Surely that’s not just waved through.

I think rights and responsibility can be interchangeable in this context. For example, you have the parental right to have a way over medical treatment, but that’s also a responsibility.

Should single mothers be able to take children on holiday etc... yes.

Should nen be able to weasel out of their responsibilities such as child maintenance simply by disappearing... NO.

Yes, I think so. I think it is wild that I apparently have equal parenting rights to a man who hasn't seen or made any type of contact with his daughter in 11 years. I get so nervous every time we go on holiday in case I'm stopped! I was going to book to have her ears pierced for Christmas and they need written permission from both parents on birth certificate for under 16s so I can't even do that.

I think parental rights should be taken away after a certain time, especially if there is no contact and no maintenance. But it shouldn’t be something that a single parent has to pay a fortune for.
My DC‘s father was absent and paid no maintenance and I didn’t even know where he was. I found out later he had gone back to the UK.
I was travelling back to the UK for Christmas, DC had xH surname and the border police in Germany were not going to let me travel. I was in tears, trying to explain that I didn’t know where DC‘s father was. Luckily I did have a copy of DC’s birth certificate and after some begging and pleading they let me travel but told me I either had to change DC‘s surname to mine or get permission from my xH.
In the end I changed DC‘s surname and xH died a few years later. So in the end that was for the best as try explaining you can’t get permission from the father because he died.

Sort of.
Mums should be allowed to take their dc's abroad on holiday without any hassle. And they should be allowed to double barely their dc's surname to make say to day life easier.
I've been too scared to go abroad and risk it and my dc's weren't allowed to officially double barrel their names.

They do question it.

My daughter has my surname and my wife chose to keep her name when we married. The staff at Heathrow questioned whether she was the mother, and whether I was aware of their travel plans. My wife had to show our daughter's birth certificate, and a letter I had already written saying that I am aware of and have no issue with my daughter leaving the country.

As someone with an absent father (and I mean I have never even seen him once) I agree they shouldn’t. I can’t imagine my mum having sacrificed and raised me for years for essentially a sperm donor turning up and having any say in my life. In my 40s now so no longer relevant but I felt that way as a child too.

(Edited from ‘random’ to ‘sperm donor’ as the difference is slight but notable.)

Yes it is that simple. You take a photo of your child's birth certificate to keep on your phone and show it to them when they ask. Or you tuck a photocopy in their passport, however you like to do things.

I think every parent should have the right to take their DC on holiday for 28 days without permission of the other parent as standard. I think it's ridiculous that this only applies if you have a court order.

I've been asked for proof twice when travelling alone with my DDs.

First time... different names.
Second time... my passport had been renewed so same name.

The name is actually irrelevant, they can ask for proof for any child.

If there's a CAO in place such that thr DC lives with you, you can take the DC abroad for up to 28 days without needing the other parent's permission
I wonder whether it's always worth applying for CAO if you're the parent in this scenario? Ie absent father

No I don't think that should happen. I would be in favour of a system similar to the ones in the states where you are imprisoned if you dont pay your child.maintenance. I dont think you should be allowed to run from your commitments. Nor do I think a resident paent should be allowed to use parental alienation to push an x away. (Though I am aware op said if they don't pay child support)

I don’t think that it should happen automatically- that would just encourage shit fathers to disappear so they didn’t have to pay maintenance.

But, I do think that as the parent who stayed you should be able to apply to have sole parental responsibility if you want to.

It's not possible to apply for a CAO without a very good reason for it and this isn't considered such. You have to go to mediation before you are allowed to apply for a CAO and if nobody disagrees then no order is going to be granted.

Oh right thanks for clarification!

But then parents who are barely present can take their child away for a month against the other parent's wishes. At least with a CAO there has been some process about it.

I agree PR should be removed where a parent is genuinely absent but I think it could be challenging to prove and could be open to abuse.

Edited to say this is in response to the suggestion 28 days without permission should be automatic.

Should absent fathers -who- initially qualify as having parental rights,yet CHOOSE to neither have contact or attempt to provide for their child be subject to prosecution for neglect?

where did you take them? Superdrug, Accessories, Claire's etc will do it with one parent's signature.

My surname in my passport is different to dc. I carry photocopy of birth certificate when travelling but no one asks generally. Apart from once in the US when I was asked about other parental permission to take them abroad. He was meeting me at airport in U.S. and once that was explained they let me through without any proof.

No because it's not criminal neglect so they can't be prosecuted for it.

I suppose though any controlling absent parent would always pop back up before whatever time limit ran out then disappear again

I completely agree OP. DD's Dad has been completely absent for 8 years and yet he still has the ability to stop me getting her a passport/changing schools etc (obviously he's not in contact so he doesn't but my point remains that he could)