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Original poster

My son just tried to kill himself

58 replies

UndertheCedartree · 16/12/2024 20:33

I'm in hospital with my 17yo son. [Redacted by MNHQ] I found him slumped in his room this morning and wasn't able to wake him so had to call an ambulance. It was touch and go this morning, but he is now stable. I've been told he's not out of the woods but he's doing a lot better. He is very confused and hallucinating, but is able to speak. Most of the time is rubbish but occasionally seems to come back to reality. He just told me how unhappy he has been feeling and how he often cries at night. He told me [redacted by MNHQ] he didn't care if he died. Obviously, I'm devastated. Feel [redacted by MNHQ] so sad he didn't confide in me.

OP posts:
RosesAndHellebores · 16/12/2024 20:34

Flowers be kind to yourself.

Fabulouslyunfabulous · 16/12/2024 20:36

Has he been seen by Psych liaison? If not he should be.

Have you got any support?

Sistertwo · 16/12/2024 20:37

Oh gosh, you poor things.
Sending gentle hugs and hopes that your son will be better in health and spirit very soon.

GreyBlackBay · 16/12/2024 20:37

I am so sorry, what an awful shock.

However he'll now get the help he needs and you will do what you can.

Please don't blame yourself for the meds. I'm sure he'd have managed to get them from somewhere and the alternative could have been stronger.

Stay safe.

mynamechangemyrules · 16/12/2024 20:38

Sending lots of love and support to you Flowers
How lucky you went in and found him and got to him in time. I hope you both get the support you need to have this as a starting point for moving forward somehow 💕
I hope you have some support for yourself too x

healthybychristmas · 16/12/2024 20:39

That is heartbreaking. I'm so so sorry. If only he could understand that in such a short time things will be very very different. I watched a documentary by Ronan Kemp who lost his best friend to suicide and it was very insightful. Maybe something to watch when he's a little better. I hope he makes a really good recovery and gets all the help he needs. 💐

UncertainWife · 16/12/2024 20:40

I can't imagine how frightening and terrible this must be for you, and of course for him. I'm so glad you found him in time. I very much hope he can now get help with his mental health and come out of the dark place he's been in.

Look after yourself, and be kind to yourself. You had no idea you needed to hide medications, why would you? Be gentle with yourself.

BobbyBiscuits · 16/12/2024 20:40

Insist on the hospital psychiatrist seeing him. He needs an MH assessment. He's admitted to you he did deliberately try to end his life. It's not your fault. Of course now you know he can't be trusted around your medication. But that's with hindsight. I hope he can get some help. He may need medication and inpatient treatment. But the MH service in the NHS leaves a lot to be desired sadly.
I hope things get better for you both x

AgnesX · 16/12/2024 20:41

💐 I'm so sorry. I hope you've got someone to support you while you try to support your son.

Doyouthinktheyknow · 16/12/2024 20:44

So sorry, @UndertheCedartree, that must be so worrying.

He needs to be referred to MHLT if not already done for an assessment of his mental health needs and ongoing risk.

It’s awful when our children are struggling but you found him in time, for him to hospital and hopefully this will be the first step toward him getting some help.

I am not naive and I know mental health services are stretched but I work in mental health liaison and we do our best to work with patients and their families to get them the support needed. Just don’t want you thinking your Ds will be dismissed because he won’t be.

NigellaAwesome · 16/12/2024 20:47

How awful for you. Both my DC have tried to take their lives, on multiple occasions. It is so frightening and shocking, and my overriding memory of that time was fear and anger.

We got help via CAMHS and from what I can tell they are both stable and happy now. There is so much exposure to this online.

I'm not sure that I have much advice to offer, but just wanted to let you know you aren't alone. Try to get support for yourself 💐

Purplecatshopaholic · 16/12/2024 20:57

Oh op, I am so sorry. Thank god you found him when you did. I hope he gets the help he needs now (and that you get support too).

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 16/12/2024 21:03

Fabulouslyunfabulous · 16/12/2024 20:36

Has he been seen by Psych liaison? If not he should be.

Have you got any support?

He will be seen before he is discharged.

His dad (my ex) is looking after our DD.

OP posts:
MidnightMusing5 · 16/12/2024 21:09

Where there is life there is hope.

there is so much help out there. Get to the root cause of his sadness (for me it was partly deficiencies that were exacerbating it! )

know they are not alone and you will be there every step of the way.

if they talk about their dark thoughts it’s a good thing- they’re not internalising (that’s when it’s really dangerous, when they don’t talk about it then that negative inner voice gets bigger and dominates. )

what helped me was when I watched something about suicide and the person said

“suicide is a permanent solution to passing problems, even though it doesn’t seem like it now- these problems WILL pass even if it doesn’t feel like it now.”

talk therapy worked for me in addition to supplements (but I had to go through several therapists to find the right one. I made the effort to as I couldn’t rely on anyone to look after my kids when I was gone, so I hung in there and now glad I did - but at the time it doesn’t feel like that. Talking about my dark feelings without anyone patronising or minimising my feelings was important in my recovery)

his life is precious and a gift. Don’t leave him on his own. Limit internet access or monitor it if you can.

much love hugs and prayers. You will get through this- xx

ArabellaScott · 16/12/2024 21:11

Flowers Sending you my very best, OP.

NavyTiger · 16/12/2024 21:13

Sorry your going through this hope he gets the help needed

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 16/12/2024 21:18

GreyBlackBay · 16/12/2024 20:37

I am so sorry, what an awful shock.

However he'll now get the help he needs and you will do what you can.

Please don't blame yourself for the meds. I'm sure he'd have managed to get them from somewhere and the alternative could have been stronger.

Stay safe.

Yes, I suppose so, thanks

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 16/12/2024 21:20

mynamechangemyrules · 16/12/2024 20:38

Sending lots of love and support to you Flowers
How lucky you went in and found him and got to him in time. I hope you both get the support you need to have this as a starting point for moving forward somehow 💕
I hope you have some support for yourself too x

He usually gets himself up for college and I realised I'd not heard from him. Thank you x

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 16/12/2024 21:21

healthybychristmas · 16/12/2024 20:39

That is heartbreaking. I'm so so sorry. If only he could understand that in such a short time things will be very very different. I watched a documentary by Ronan Kemp who lost his best friend to suicide and it was very insightful. Maybe something to watch when he's a little better. I hope he makes a really good recovery and gets all the help he needs. 💐

I will have a look at that, thank you.

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 16/12/2024 21:24

Doyouthinktheyknow · 16/12/2024 20:44

So sorry, @UndertheCedartree, that must be so worrying.

He needs to be referred to MHLT if not already done for an assessment of his mental health needs and ongoing risk.

It’s awful when our children are struggling but you found him in time, for him to hospital and hopefully this will be the first step toward him getting some help.

I am not naive and I know mental health services are stretched but I work in mental health liaison and we do our best to work with patients and their families to get them the support needed. Just don’t want you thinking your Ds will be dismissed because he won’t be.

Thank you, that is reassuring. They have told me once he is well enough we will see someone from mental health.

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 16/12/2024 21:25

NigellaAwesome · 16/12/2024 20:47

How awful for you. Both my DC have tried to take their lives, on multiple occasions. It is so frightening and shocking, and my overriding memory of that time was fear and anger.

We got help via CAMHS and from what I can tell they are both stable and happy now. There is so much exposure to this online.

I'm not sure that I have much advice to offer, but just wanted to let you know you aren't alone. Try to get support for yourself 💐

I'm sorry you have experienced this but glad you came out the other side. Thank you so much.

OP posts:
MamaorBruh · 16/12/2024 21:25

I'm so sorry, what an awful shock for you.
I truly hope your son gets the help he really needs and he is able to work through this

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 16/12/2024 21:31

MidnightMusing5 · 16/12/2024 21:09

Where there is life there is hope.

there is so much help out there. Get to the root cause of his sadness (for me it was partly deficiencies that were exacerbating it! )

know they are not alone and you will be there every step of the way.

if they talk about their dark thoughts it’s a good thing- they’re not internalising (that’s when it’s really dangerous, when they don’t talk about it then that negative inner voice gets bigger and dominates. )

what helped me was when I watched something about suicide and the person said

“suicide is a permanent solution to passing problems, even though it doesn’t seem like it now- these problems WILL pass even if it doesn’t feel like it now.”

talk therapy worked for me in addition to supplements (but I had to go through several therapists to find the right one. I made the effort to as I couldn’t rely on anyone to look after my kids when I was gone, so I hung in there and now glad I did - but at the time it doesn’t feel like that. Talking about my dark feelings without anyone patronising or minimising my feelings was important in my recovery)

his life is precious and a gift. Don’t leave him on his own. Limit internet access or monitor it if you can.

much love hugs and prayers. You will get through this- xx

Thank you for the advice. I have told him how precious he is to me and that he isn't alone and can tell me anything.

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 16/12/2024 21:32

Thank you for all the best wishes. It is very kind and means a lot x

OP posts:
LAK89 · 16/12/2024 21:32

Hi OP. I couldn't read without leaving a message. I'm so sorry. Please don't blame yourself. I agree that it's perhaps a blessing in disguise he didn't take anything stronger from elsewhere.

I planned my death but walked into an A&E instead (I appreciate this is no way comparable to your son) and told them what I planned to do.

I'm so glad I didn't go through with it. I've now got a family of my own and am often taken aback by the beauty of the world and life in general. I hope your son - and you - can recover from this and experience happiness free of anxiety. Sending love and prayers.