My son just tried to kill himself

[UndertheCedartree]

I'm in hospital with my 17yo son. [Redacted by MNHQ] I found him slumped in his room this morning and wasn't able to wake him so had to call an ambulance. It was touch and go this morning, but he is now stable. I've been told he's not out of the woods but he's doing a lot better. He is very confused and hallucinating, but is able to speak. Most of the time is rubbish but occasionally seems to come back to reality. He just told me how unhappy he has been feeling and how he often cries at night. He told me [redacted by MNHQ] he didn't care if he died. Obviously, I'm devastated. Feel [redacted by MNHQ] so sad he didn't confide in me.

I just wanted to add my support and good wishes to you and your poor boy. I am so sorry for him and you and wish you all good luck and love.

Give yourself grace you are going thru hell. Sending hugs and prayers for ds.

It would be a bit early for that. He needs to be sorted physically first and also probably has an element of delirium going on so needs some time for that to settle. He will almost certainly be seen by psych liaison when it is appropriate.

I am so sorry that he has felt so bad that he has done this.

This is probably not about him wanting to die. It is more likely that he wants the bad feelings to stop and to have a break from them. There are ways to help with that and the mental health team will have resources.

You may be blaming yourself. Please don't. The world is tougher for today's young people than it has been for earlier generations.

There is nothing you could have done to stop him except physically prevent it at the time.

If your medication was locked up, he would have chosen another method.

And if you had stopped him, he would have waited until another time and another place where he wouldn't be disturbed.

This is likely to be a cry for support and the mental health team can provide that.

Focus on what you have been able to do. You found him. You realised it was serious. You called an ambulance. You got him immediate help. You are continuing to get him support. You are loving him.

This is not your fault. You will get through this. He will get through this.

You are stronger than you know.

My daughter took a serious intentional overdose and it changed us both forever but I would say for the better looking back now. 5 years later. You’ll never forget and it will ring you closer together ultimately but it’s hard as hell right now. Lots of love.

@UndertheCedartree Being 17 can be extremely hard.

I was living in a hostel and had had a falling out with someone I thought was a friend.. and like your son, assembled various drugs that ''should'' have done the trick. {I won't mention them}

Thankfully I woke up after many many hours with a thick and banging headache and a terribly dry mouth. I remember that grim awakening, thinking ''I shouldn't be alive!?

I'm so glad I survived though.

Being young is tough sometimes.

I really hope your son gets some help to realise that feeling isolated and lonely as a teenager is quite common.

Emotions can be so black and white at that age.

So all or nothing, so ''end of the world''

When one has lived a bit, one can weather the storm a bit better {generally speaking}.
Hope your son feels more positive soon.

I’m so sorry this has happened. He has spoken to you now about his feelings, all you can do is make sure they know they are so loved. Educate yourself on how to deal with this, there are so many help groups and people who have been in the same situation who are now coaches on this. Sending you love and light x

What frightening times for your family. I hope he recovers soon and he can start healing mentally as well.

I just wanted to send love to you and your boy and say I’m so sorry. Look after yourself and lean on people to help you whenever you can xx

Dear OP.
I am so sorry to read this - so horrendous, scary and upsetting for him and you. Even though it is very serious I would not expect CAMHS to come through with much (despite the sterling work of their staff) so you will probably have to reach out to different charities/organistations to get some regular counselling. Take every leaflet and ring them all. I'll be thinking and hoping the best for your son and you. Best of luck. xx

I am so, so sorry for you and your son. It's nobody's fault, you are not to blame. I did exactly the same thing when I was 15 and my advice is to give him love and support. My parents didn't know what to do so ignored it, when I could have used professional support in the aftermath. I ended up feeling guilty and embarrassed, as that's how they made me feel.
He's told you why - that's a great step, you can now help him to move forward and to heal xxx

Gosh how frightening for you, I will keep your son, yourself and your daughter in my prayers.

Reading anything about suicide and anyone going through difficult times brings a lump to my throat as l lost my sister to suicide.

life can be very challenging but hopefully this will be the starting point in getting the help your son needs and please be kind to yourself too.

🙏🏻🕯️💐

I'm so sorry, I've been there twice with my now 20 year old. Things can get better. I wasn't impressed by the mental health support from the NHS. What did help us was a local charity that offer counselling, cbt, EMDR, so definitely look for some close to you if you need more than the NHS can give you. Sending you both lots of love.

My DS tried twice. For month after dreadful month, we did our best but nothing seemed to work. Eventually, we found DBT and it was like a miracle. It helped him understand himself and us to have practical tools to help him. He is now happy, studying and working, enjoying life. Since then, we have come to understand how incredibly common this is. You are not alone. You and he can get through this. It is a long and gruelling road, but it is possible. Please look into DBT. Sending much love.

@UndertheCedartree.- How utterly terrifying.sending very best wishes. x

I am so sorry you have found yourself having to cope with this. No parent ever wants to find their child having made such an attempt.

My eldest was 14 and made such an explosive attempt he was voluntarily sectioned to a moderate secure tier 4 CAHMS hospital so I have some notion that a determined lad who thinks suicide is the only answer will always find a way to follow through even if you watch them 24/7.Be aware that between 16-18 a teenager can easily fall between the gap between CAHMS and the CMHT services.

May you have found him and got him to A&E well before the Od could cause significant long term harm and may the effects of the drugs start to stabilise and wear off in the following hours. I truly hope your son is seen by a MH crisis team and I recommend refusing to take him home without that having happened. From experience once you are home you end up back on your own until the next MH crisis and your DS does deserve support from MH services even if they are spread so very thin.

Young MINDS helpline for parents might be able to help you navigate accessing support for your son as well as providing some support in how to ask for help for your son. their website was a godsend when my son became extremely mentally unwell and a real risk to himself and others.

Firstly I am so sorry to hear about your son but on the positive you were there just in time and I just want to say that you are an amazing mother with a beautiful boy.

I see a variety of posts recommending NHS mental health support, talking to him, local charities and other support services. My advice is to try them all and see which one seems to work best for your son.

Please stay strong for your sake and his.

Biggest hugs ever

Thank you and I'm so glad you didn't go through with it. I hope this is a turning point for my son to know he can tell me anything xx

Thank you so much.

I'm sorry about your daughter but glad it brought you closer. I hope it will be the same for us

I almost lost my son after his best friend died by his own hand. It is excruciatingly painful. I’m so sorry you are going through this, OP.

My best advice to you is don’t try to fix him, just listen. Just be a solid, loving, rock in his sea of pain that he can cling to. Be available, be non-judgmental. (I’m sure you know all this already, but I will risk telling you anyway).

When my son’s crisis hit I had just completed a two day course in suicide prevention / first aid called ASIST. I never imagined I would be using the skills I learned there just a few days later with my own son but I think the course gave me the confidence to know how to approach him and begin to get him the help he needed.

best wishes to you and your son xxx🙏🏻

Try not to look back and blame yourself. It's hard seeing everything, especially when you're dealing with teenage boys and particularly so when you're struggling yourself, and on your own.
Try to look forward now, and investigate ways you can help DS. Get his dad on board too as fathers are really important sources of support. Maybe he can pay for some counselling too.
Sending a virtual hug.

@UndertheCedartree The worst thing ever, beyond worst, and beyond ever. Other than those who have been through it, no-one will be able to contemplate what it feels like, or be offering advice. I add my love, and wishes to those who have already posted, and hope tomorrow will bring a different day. Incredibly hard to go through and my thoughts are with you xxx

Thank you, lovely people. He is doing so much better this morning. Becoming much more with it. He is very tearful at the thought he could have died xx

I'm so glad to hear that. Poor boy.

There is so much to be done to help. So many things that you can try. That age can be an immensely difficult age; generally speaking things get better.

May this be a turning point for him, and sending you both all my very best.

I hope you have plenty of good support, OP. Don't forget your own need for support even as you help him, in fact essential to enable you to help him. x