Worried about dc growing up and not fitting in Christmas days out and activities

[Sweetappley]

im worried about dc growing up and not fitting in Christmas days out and activities in the run up to Christmas. The years are so fast but there are so many days out, Christmas breaks and activities I want them to experience. Does anyone else feel like this?

I've got friends with grandchildren and they don't do anything like that. Their parents can't afford it. I think they went to Kew Gardens last year.

There was a very similar thread recently and I found it just as bizarre as I do this one. There is no list of compulsory Christmas activities to complete. If you have the time, money and inclination then choose an activity every year that your children will love, then relax and enjoy it.

As other have said, it’s likely the small family traditions that your children will remember fondly, not the big ticket days out which are often disappointing due to high expectation and over-excited children.

my dcs are now 18 & 14 and we have done non of those, have they missed out I don’t think so. We did do Santa trips and it was to the same place each year, even after we no longer needed the Santa visit we still visited because the dcs loved the tradition.
Im still expected to bake Santa cookies, fill their stockings & movie afternoons. It’s the small things they remember, there is no need to buy into the expensive manufactured fun insta Christmas experiences.

Blimey. We never experienced anything like that at all. My DPs would never have afforded anything like that. I don't feel I've missed out in the slightest, I don't remember any of my friends talking about doing those sorts of things either. We also likewise wouldn't afford anything like that for our three.

On a slight tangent but we've been to CP 3 times so far and there's no way I'd want to pay the money for a time of year where the weather is a lot more likely to be awful. Would never consider an Xmas break there.

There's no wonder some people go on about the cost of living if they think that Lapland, centre parks at Xmas etc are average normal Xmas, I know many comfortable and well off people tooOP with kids and don't know any that do this kind of thing on a regular basis - yes I'm sure some instagrammers may well do , but often on the back of people paying to subscribe to their perfect lives etc - it really is not the norm

My kids are teens now, I started a walk on xmas eve with them when they were really little as they were balls of excited energy and we had no money for "events"

It's still their fave activity and my 13yo is gutted we might not manage it this year as I'm working. It's literally just a walk across a muddy field 😅

You’re putting too much pressure on yourself.

i blame the ‘making memories’ culture that we live in.

Think back to your childhood. What do you remember? I remember making Christmas decorations. Cutting stars out had cereal packets and wrapping them in silver foil (70s childhood) with my grandad.

No, my eldest is 18 and my youngest is 11. We go out for a meal, decorate the house, watch a movie on Xmas eve and love a trip to the cinema before Xmas day. We're passed all the santa claus things and walking round the neighbourhood looking at lights. Been there and done that. I'm enjoying the less stress of it all lol 😆 I go to xmas markets with my mum and friends

Didn’t you post this last week !

I would definitely recommend the Polar Express mind. We went 2 years ago and it was an amazing experience and one we'll never forget 🙂

So book one for next year OP. Or you might be able to get a late booking/cancellation for center parcs next weekend.

No point being regretful and doing nothing about it.

I don't remember a single outing I had as a child not a single one! I do remember mi dad running down stairs in his pants shouting 'Has he been Has he been', I do remember mi mums glasses sliding down her nose cos her face was sweating when she was making our dinner! I remember my nanna and granddad coming and asking us 'what's he brought then?'! I remember opening my girls world one year and being ecstatic and being disappointed the year I didn't get a Mr Frosty and I remember stopping up late with my playdoh. But outings? Nah!

Amongst my friends some of these experiences are normal, but not all of them, every year. We’ve done a few, Center Parcs weekend after NY on those years where the DCs are off school for a while afterwards, it’s not the full on Xmas experience but fairylights in the woods, using the pools in the dark, real fire in the lodge it’s a lovely cosy time to go there for a long weekend and chill out. We’ve done one or two light trails, panto, ice-skating a few times. Friends have done Lapland, I think as long as your DCs enjoy them and you can afford the time and money why not. But not to the point where you are out every weekend all through December cramming it in. And they definitely don’t need to do them, they won’t get to adulthood and wish they’d done them all, it is as others have said, the making of mince pies and paperchains that become proper traditions. The other thing is, you can carry on doing nice things as they grow up, DH and I still do the Christmas market and maybe a light trail or NT property without the DCs, we volunteer as elves on the local Santa run, you don’t have to stop when the DCs grow up.

It has to be, same exact activities mentioned.

We love to do a lot of Christmas activities too (and indeed all year round). I wouldn't say I'm anxious about it but I'm aware that the window of years to do it is relatively short, before they get too old/it gets uncool. And we're in London so there are lots of different experiences on offer! So far what has helped is - using the whole Christmas season (mid Nov to mid Jan) to do things - almost every weekend is booked up with something, eg theatre, panto, concert, Santa experience. DH takes off 2 weeks around Christmas so we have every weekday as well for that period. We do a mixture of annual favourites (we've done a certain panto every year for 4 years, missed 2 years due to Covid), a few concerts, a ballet, and then some new things and a different short break each year. It does cost a lot but experiences are something we value and we would have spent money going to theatres and concerts pre-dc anyway, and most of them are quite easy to get to. DH and I genuinely enjoy going to these events (especially as the dc get older and the shows and days out are as fun for adults as it is for kids) rather than just providing experiences for them - it's a trip out for all of us to enjoy (and not to brag about as we have no SM) so if you can afford it and have the time then why not.

That's not what makes Christmas and nobody should spend money they don't have to make it #magical. That's the advertising industry's version of Christmas to make you spend money. Christmas is about the birth of Jesus's so take your kids to a Christingle church service. Get them to experience the real meaning of Christmas instead of the fake elf/polar experience shite.

If that’s what floats your boat. Sounds exhausting to me. I’ve always valued down time with the children. One day out a week is plenty. Constantly doing activities as you describe may mean you are bringing your children up with an expectation of constant entertainment. Chn do need time to just be bored and use their imagination.

Thanks everyone, I’m going through the replies.

Who would you be fitting in all these activities for? You? Or DC
They don't need to do all this, and probably wouldn't want to
I'm sure I commented on another thread like this

We have polar express and Lapland twice. It's nice to do but you need to book well in advance and have hundreds to spare. Nice to do but definitely not a every year type thing. I'd go to lapland UK ehilst still youngish. But there's still lots you can do with older teens. We go to the cinema Xmas eve etc which is a cheap tradition. Hopefully seeing the live broadcast of nutcracker this week with ds who is now 17

I asked my young adult dc what their favourite christmas memories have been (always had a lot of nice experiences and lots of presents) and they unanimously said watching Home Alone. I forgot that we always do that, as it seems so ordinary compared to other things, but apparently it's not christmas if we don't do that!

Your kids don’t care about instagrammable perfect Christmas moments. Some of the things you’ve mentioned cost a fortune. Do Christmas crafts with them, take them to the local light switch on and a Santa vist. Maybe a panto. They don’t need to go to Centre Parks and the Polar Express.

You do realise that if you flood them with “experiences”, nothing will be special anymore?

None of those are normal Christmas days out. They're very fancy extra things that only the wealthy and privileged can afford to do. They're not standard childhood Christmas staples.

No. You can't do everything and I feel zero pressure to. I do what I can do and not what I can't.

The thing my 8yo has been most excited about this year? Going to Grannie's house to bake things for the freezer to eat over Christmas. Our 5yo just wants to play games with us. I've booked an immersive Christmas play and they have moaned! They would rather go to the trampoline park or just stay in.

Center Parcs have lights up until about end Feb. We went in Feb half term one year which was lovely and nice to have something separate to Christmas. I'd love to do Lapland or similar but I'm pretty sure the kids would just moan they are cold!