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Original poster

How much for wedding gift?

47 replies

Pickledhen · 14/12/2024 23:35

Very good friends daughter is getting married in the new year... the couple would prefer money as a gift as they have been living together for a couple of years, but I am unsure how much to give. For context the brides mum and I have been friends since childhood and we have been through thick and thin. I am childless and single so don't have much idea of how much is ' the going rate' as it were. All help gratefully received.

OP posts:
Foundpresents · 14/12/2024 23:37

I’d say £150 if it’s a big wedding.. but more to the point, what can you afford?

CousinBob · 14/12/2024 23:40

I don’t know what the ‘going rate’ is, but I am in a similar position and thinking I will give £75-100.

Neveranynamesleft · 14/12/2024 23:41

It doesn't matter what other people think, it's up to you what you want to give and can afford.

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General shopping Weddings
Copperoliverbear · 14/12/2024 23:41

£100 to £150. That's what it would cost for a day out probably. X

WhatIDoIsEnough · 14/12/2024 23:42

The most anyone gave on our wedding was £40. But mostly £20. It added up to a fair amount
Medium sized wedding. 6 years ago
We didn't ask for anything not even cash. So we were grateful and it paid for lounge furniture when we moved which was nice

Enough4me · 14/12/2024 23:44

You'll get everything on here from an empty card to hundreds.
I'd suggest £40 and a nice card.

Mangolover123 · 14/12/2024 23:48

Last wedding I went to, evening invite for me and dh, i gave £100.

Caffeineismydrug35 · 14/12/2024 23:52

If you’re going to the entire wedding and you can afford it then I would suggest £100-150. But I think generally speaking, any amount is absolutely fine. I’m sure they’ll be grateful with whatever you can give.

NoGwenItsABoxingDayTrifle · 14/12/2024 23:54

I got married two years ago and we were given different amounts from our guests, the highest was £200 in a card from the best man and the lowest was 30 euros towards our honeymoon money. Others gave John Lewis vouchers and some just a card. I loved opening all of them, just give what you can afford.

Fuzzyandwarm · 14/12/2024 23:54

I have a close friend's wedding next year and am thinking £150

Galdownunder · 14/12/2024 23:57

If she was my ride or die best friend I’d probably give 500. Family weddings I give 1000. But give what you can afford. Those figures are AUD too sorry not pounds.

JC03745 · 14/12/2024 23:58

OP- are you attending alone or bringing a plus one?

As a couple, attending all day, DH and I would normally give £150-£200 depending on how close we were to the couple- more if a relative or very close. If attending alone, I'd halve it, but obviously depends on your finances and how close you are to your friends child.

Edited as realised I'd put the amount we gave15yrs ago. Haven't attended a wedding in ages so its clearly more than when I last attended one.

BuzzieLittleBee · 15/12/2024 00:02

I hate this notion of trying to match the gift to how much the couple have spent on you attending the day (as suggested by a PP, and is always suggested on these threads). It's not some kind of trade deal.

If they had an old-school gift list, with everything from teaspoons for a couple of £, via crockery at £10-£60, up to table lamps at £150, what would you pick from the list? That's how I'd make my decision about what to put in.

I know people don't want 'stuff', but I HATE this cash gifting thing. If there is something the couple want (honeymoon experiences, things for the house etc etc), then there are plenty of easy ways to set up contributions to those. Cash just makes it into a transaction.

SomuchtodoandhereIam · 15/12/2024 00:04

The going rate varies according to location too.

Original poster
Pickledhen · 15/12/2024 00:11

JC03745 · 14/12/2024 23:58

OP- are you attending alone or bringing a plus one?

As a couple, attending all day, DH and I would normally give £150-£200 depending on how close we were to the couple- more if a relative or very close. If attending alone, I'd halve it, but obviously depends on your finances and how close you are to your friends child.

Edited as realised I'd put the amount we gave15yrs ago. Haven't attended a wedding in ages so its clearly more than when I last attended one.

Edited

I'm a singleton, no plus one and going to the whole day. I think it will be quite a biggish wedding. I haven't been to a wedding in a long while so I'm a bit out of touch.

OP posts:
BuzzieLittleBee · 15/12/2024 00:27

SomuchtodoandhereIam · 15/12/2024 00:04

The going rate varies according to location too.

What is it with this 'going rate'? The amount OP gives is entirely unrelated to the venue, location, style of wedding, size of wedding, amount and type of food and drink served etc. It is a token from the giver to the couple to mark their marriage and wish them well. You're not paying to attend.

People don't apply this logic to birthday gifts, and it shouldn't be applied to weddings either.

SomuchtodoandhereIam · 15/12/2024 02:00

BuzzieLittleBee · 15/12/2024 00:27

What is it with this 'going rate'? The amount OP gives is entirely unrelated to the venue, location, style of wedding, size of wedding, amount and type of food and drink served etc. It is a token from the giver to the couple to mark their marriage and wish them well. You're not paying to attend.

People don't apply this logic to birthday gifts, and it shouldn't be applied to weddings either.

Show quote history

Except OP specifically asked for the ‘going rate’ so just, you know, trying to help her out here…

If you think her question is inappropriate then maybe take that up with her, not with someone addressing the question OP actually asked.

By location I meant the area or country the wedding is taking place in, not the venue btw. OP hasn’t said where she is and these things are cultural as much as anything else.

And a going rate is very often applied to birthday gifts, especially for schoolkids birthday parties and so on.

cassy16 · 15/12/2024 02:02

£200

Mylifeisamesssuchamess · 15/12/2024 04:08

cassy16 · 15/12/2024 02:02

£200

That's crazy unless it's your own child.

Maddy70 · 15/12/2024 04:08

I would say £50

Mylifeisamesssuchamess · 15/12/2024 04:11

The last time I went to a wedding I gave £100 and never even got a thank you. It was a lot of money for me as a single person paying all the bills and mortgage myself. Not a high earner.

CookieMonster28 · 15/12/2024 06:48

Maddy70 · 15/12/2024 04:08

I would say £50

Agree, I'd say £50 is more than generous!

Original poster
Pickledhen · 15/12/2024 06:51

Thanks for the replies. I know I said going rate and there are a lot of variables involved eg relationship to the bride and groom, wealth of the giver etc but I just wanted to have a better feel for what was the current most common amount iykwim. I'm 60 haven't been to a wedding in many years. The last weddings I went to, it was primarily physical gifts given. I was thinking along the 100 to 150 range but wasn't sure if this was too much or too little, it's an awkward question to ask in general so I'm being a chicken and asking here. 😅

OP posts:
SweetBobby · 15/12/2024 06:51

For a friend's daughter and as a single attendee I'd say £50 is absolutely fine. You won't seem cheap like you would if you gave, say £20, but you're not close enough to warrant £100+.

Andoutcomethewolves · 15/12/2024 06:59

I'd go with 50 (or possibly 75) too. 20 seems stingy, 100+ is extravagant unless you genuinely can easily afford it, particularly as this is not your friend but your friend's dd. I usually give 50 to friends personally, gave my sister 1k but that's my sister so very different!