How much for wedding gift?

[Pickledhen]

Very good friends daughter is getting married in the new year... the couple would prefer money as a gift as they have been living together for a couple of years, but I am unsure how much to give. For context the brides mum and I have been friends since childhood and we have been through thick and thin. I am childless and single so don't have much idea of how much is ' the going rate' as it were. All help gratefully received.

Wow I'm amazed by the recommendations on here £150 seems very generous. If that's the going rate these days I'm glad my friends are all married as I would not be able to justify that amount!!

My daughter got married recently this seemed to be the going rate as it were , I would give this. Some of the replies on here are bizarre and some extremely low!

I'd do £100

At our wedding we received money gifts varying from £20 to about £150 from friends/ family friends. I think anywhere in that range is fine, there isn't a 'going rate'.

Personally I wouldn't give less than £20 because it will cost more than that for each guest to attend the wedding, even if it's a fairly basic one.

Upper limit is just whatever you can afford/ are happy to give.

£50 is perfectly acceptable. If you are comfortable and have more to give, then do it, but only if you can. Most people will not be giving more than that as a single person.

Some that have suggested that amount, like myself, wrote that before the OP said that he/she is attending alone.

As a single person attending all day, having been close to and knowing the family her whole life, I'd likely give £70-£100.

I'd say £100-150 is on the generous side. £50 is plenty, although if you want to give more and can afford it that's fine too.

The size/cost of the wedding is irrelevant. That's entirely down to the bride and groom to decide on and pay for and it's not up to their guests to contribute towards the cost of.

At least no-one's told you to give them a photo frame to make the point that you think their preference for money is in poor taste.

Traditionally you would buy a gift, toaster, iron etc so 50 is more than that so i think 50 is appropriate

Traditionally they put out a list with toasters etc. This is pure greed to expect anything like 150

Apologies for using the term ' going rate' it was the only metaphor I could think of at the time.

It's irrelevant what it costs the couple to host the wedding per person. It's their wedding and they've chosen who to invite, venue, catering costs etc. Wedding money isn't intended to make money back from wedding costs as traditionally gifts were given not money.
I agree £20 is very little these days though and would say £50+ is probably more appropriate.

It’s about €100- 200 (£80 -160) per single person where I am, more for very close friends or family. I’m in Ireland though and the average amount given does seem to be higher than I see on MN usually.

No gift list not many young couples who already live together want toasters that’s very old fashioned now, it was a big Scottish wedding so I can only comment from my experience, but that’s what we were given and that’s what I would give if invited to the whole wedding. Might be different in other parts of the country.

Yes, but I would feel very cheeky attending a wedding and giving money as a gift which I know would come nowhere near the cost of the food I ate at the party. It's personal preference.

£50 is what you spend on a friend or sibling milestone birthday. It's £100 for a wedding.

But that would mean that you'd give a larger gift to a wealthy couple who had the lavish wedding that they could afford than to a couple on a low income who had a modest wedding that they catered themselves because that's what their budget allowed, which makes no sense.

No it's not that definite. Very much depends on your own finances, your relationship with the couple etc

It really makes no sense does it.

I was thinking along the 100 to 150 range but wasn't sure if this was too much or too little

Go with £100 then - it will be seen as generous from a single person given the feedback here. £150 is probs the end of your comfort zone and I dont think you need to go that far.

Have a great day.

Not necessarily. I just wouldn't give a gift worth less than a minimum amount I knew they would spend, regardless of whether it's lavish or not, I wouldn't give a gift worth less than around £20.

Thanks for this. I would hate to be seen as mean but my earning power is less now and will likely diminish once I fully retire. My friend has 3 other children so I am trying to be realistic over what I can afford over the coming years with them all too.

Your terminology is fine op, some mnetters seem obsessed with approved terminology, you see it on every thread!
For a child of a friend, evening guest I would probably give £50. Day guest £100. My household earnings are kind of at the higher end of average.