If you live in a different country to your birth - cultural norms you find odd?

[Triffid1]

I am South African originally. As I was dropping DS (13) at his activity last night at 7pm, knowing I'd be picking him at 8:30, I was thinking how I just don't think I'm ever going to get used to the lateness of things for children in this country. I honestly don't think i was out of the house after 6:30 on a school night, ever, until I was about 16!!! Admittedly, we also started our days much earlier - school start was 8:05 I think.

And I admit, I find it even odder because you change your clocks so that it gets light earlier and dark earlier. And certainly where we are (SE England), everything happens LATER, not earlier. I'm also from Cape Town though so to be fair, it gets light much later so getting up in the dark was a pretty normal event in winter for us.

Does anyone else have anything like this that they find odd? Light please - I'm not looking to bash any other cultures just note the differences!

@LadyAmroth
I think we all love to celebrate Christmas the way we were brought up with.
As a Pole who’s been living in the UK for over 20 years, I feel about British Christmas as you feel about German. It seems to me that everything is crammed into one day -25th December.
In my country the evening of 24th is the start of Christmas. We have a special meal after the sunset with lots of dishes, which are often eaten just once a year.
When I was a child it always felt magical - dimmed lighting, candles, lights on the tree, looking out for the first star before exchanging Christmas wishes and sitting down for a meal. It is still my favourite part of Christmas. But to us Christmas is not over after the main event. Christmas Eve is usually with the closest family - children, parents, grandparents.
Christmas Day varies- some people have a chilled day at home with no visitors, but many people will see the family members whom they did not see on Christmas Eve. It is still a big day with fancy food, similar to British Christmas Day. Boxing Day is called ‘second day of Christmas’ and is another day of festive eating, seeing family and friends.
The thing which puzzled me when I first came here was Boxing Day sales with many shops open and lots of people going shopping. In my country shops are closed on both Christmas Day and Boxing Day. British ex husband was really into it so I embraced it for a while, but now with everything available on the internet I have gone back to my old ways. I have noticed that now more shops are closed on Boxing Day, which I think is good for the employees.
Another Christmas tradition, which is different here, is the parties. My country is still very religious so many people won’t party in Advent. The company Christmas parties have become more popular since many international companies started operating in Poland’s in 1990s, but not many people host or attend other parties before Christmas. The main party season is after New Year and lasts through January. We call it ‘Carnival’.
However, with exception to Christmas itself, I have now got used to doing Christmas season the British way.

The only thing in the UK, which I find odd and will never get used to, is not having proper electrical sockets in the bathroom, unless it’s very big.
I have visited quite a few countries and UK is the only one I have been to that does not allow sockets in the bathroom. I really do not understand the logic behind it. If people in other European countries don’t massively electrocute themselves in the bathrooms why don’t British lawmakers trust people to be sensible? When I was growing up most people in my country lived in tiny flats. We all had our washing machines in our tiny bathrooms, we dried our hair in our tiny bathrooms, but I never heard of anybody electrocuting themselves in the bathroom . Even nowadays, unless you have a laundry room, washing machines are usually in bathrooms.

I'm from that area and the sockets in the bathroom are missing indeed 🙈
Electrician told me it's because they run on 230V rather than 240V and the plug pin (the third bit in plug in middle) is earthing, or something to that effect.
Different system was the jist of it.

@Spaceid

Coming from France to the UK:

Lots of people going to the bars and pubs and not drinking, we have a massive drinking culture in France and I found this very refreshing

So interesting to see your observation of English and French drinking habits.
This was actually my impression with France too - but the popular idea on MN is very much that it is only the British that have a drinking culture and that in France everyone sips at the occasional glass of wine with a meal .

To be close to nature. I used to tent camp in Rocky Mountain National Park…hiking in with my pack and tent a few miles and was in real wilderness. It kind of put things in perspective for me, and the feeling of awe when being in somewhere stunningly beautiful is something else.

*@Spaceid Is it true or a myth that french women drink an occasional wine during pregnancy?

Yeah. I am a dual national: US/UK, and driving in the States is much easier and more straightforward for sure. You practically need a PhD to drive in the UK, and I never will get use to the narrow country roads and driving around bends and meeting another car. Rail journeys in the UK always seem to take longer than they should for the distance, but at least you have a rail network unlike the States!

I still don’t really get the appeal of marmite…my British DH loves the stuff.

I'd be afraid of bears, and I prefer a proper toilet rather than a bush.

@BeAzureAnt I have driven in the US and can't get over just how wide the roads are.

A lot of the problems here are because a lot of housing was built before the motor car was invented. We have rows of Victorian terrace houses round here with nowhere to park a car, so they have to park in the road.

Often they have to park half on the pavement otherwise emergency vehicles can't get through. This then causes problems for pedestrians, especially those who have a disability or children in buggies.

@LadyAmroth I very much prefer my German Christmas.

When I grew up, Christmas Eve is just the actual family, presents when it gets dark (when children are younger) and then a short dinner, it's often potato salad and Frankfurter in lots of areas. The older the children, the more it's moved towards later but it's still no full meal.

Christmas Day is often the main meal at lunch, similar to the UK,, it's often a roast, and then visting family, we often met with other aunts/uncles at one house, exchanged presents, I played with my cousins, had coffee and cake.

Boxing Day - like here, everyone needs a day to recharge.

I feel for my British colleagues who often told me that they would be up at ungodly o'clock as the children woke up and demanded to see if Santa was there. It's such a long day with so much cramped in, especially if you are celebrating with a large family.

@Psychologymam

It’s varies in Ireland, we are a shoe off house but lots of houses aren’t! I do find it funny in the UK though where it’s considered gross to wear shoes inside but it’s perfectly fine for the dog to come in…and their paws touch the same ground as your shoes but it’s seen as very different!

I suspect that the posters who are finding the idea of anything from outside coming into their homes to be gross are the same ones that find dogs to be gross.
Meanwhile others of us are happy to sit indoors in our shoes with our dogs on our laps!

I'm finding this thread very interesting in respect of cultures in other countries - but I do think that some of the things they find odd about the UK are things that I find odd too - and also that a lot of things that seem to be the norm on MN aren't the norm for me or people I know.

She asked for Christmas crackers again this year.

As far as I know crackers are uniquely British - but happy to be corrected.
We gave a box to a Korean friend saying that they were for Christmas Day - usually at lunch or the evening meal. However we didn't give any further instructions and they unwrapped them. Fair enough - we should’ve explained.

Yes - I think that’s true across the board in terms of things being considered the norm for an entire country - someone mentioned women in black veils at Irish weddings which I’ve never seen - apart from photos from generations ago! But the dogs thing, I’ve encountered a good few houses where that’s the case living in the UK, but it might be a particular group of people or location!

At Irish funerals, not weddings!
Presumably mantillas.
I’m Irish and have only very rarely seen people wear black mantillas though my elderly grandmother wore one to her sister’s funeral in the late 80s or early 90s I know.
We wore them for Confirmation, also in the 80s, but they were white.

In my home country it's shoes off and slippers on.
In UK, as I have kids we have hard floors downstairs and wear shoes. Kids go in/out all the time, would drive me crazy to have to take them on/off all day. We just do mopping more often.
We have carpet upstairs and it's shoes off zone.

South African in the UK here also. What shocked me and still does is the reaction to family and friends visits especially last minute or surprise visits. Homes in SA are always open. Sometimes people will just turn up, other times there’s a call or text asking if we home. Then 2 seconds after you’ve sat down, a load drinks and food will be on the table.

Maybe not so much now due to cost of living, but previously most parents here usually expected their kids to have moved out once they hit 18.

At least the UK gives you a full day! Most people here are at work in the morning on Xmas eve. They decorate the tree, do presents and eat all in the afternoon/evening!

Omg, this!
Back home everyone just turns up/calls and meet up are quick.
Here you have to make appt months/weeks in advance and nothing is spontaneous.
My husband's aunt isn't very well and lives around the corner.We wouldn't dream just stopping by and asking if she needs anything.

Probably just my miserable as sin in laws then.

We visited a lovely boutique hotel in California and you could buy a new version of the mattress in our bed. It was heaven. I would have been tempted if the logistics had worked.

My husband is English. A few years ago he was selling his house and we had to go over unexpectedly to sort something out (we live in London & his old house was in Surrey, not too far from his parents) After we were done he called his parents asking if we could visit, we hadn’t seen them in a while. His father was initially lost for words, then asked how long we’ll be, then he said he’ll ask mil. At this point my husband said never mind maybe another time 😳

You dont have to be invited to funerals in the UK. You just turn up

The not being able to buy more than 2 packs of paracetamol is a relatively new thing, and as someone that is born and bred in England. I don’t get it either.

Yes, this! My MIL lives 5 min away and my BIL 20 min. We see MIL probably monthly, BIL 2-3 times a year. It's always appointment. I get on with them very well. After I gave birth, everyone just vanished. I'm not sure if they didn't know what to bring/say. We did get the card in post and a present, but I would much rather they just turned up with some lasagne or something 😂.

I’m English and will always specify a time. I would say most people I know do the same. I would find it very annoying if they didn’t.

I understand that fear totally. You put your food in a bear bag and hang in a tree about 10 feet off the ground, away from where you sleep. That, and don’t leave rubbish around. If you car camp, lock the food in your car. I also carried a pistol in the States if I was in the wilderness. I’m glad I never had to use it. When I lived in the Upper Midwest, black bear would visit my birdfeeder in my back yard because it bordered some forest…smash it the ground and have their fill. I learned to have a smaller feeder and not have fat balls.

Not so fussed about having a toilet. Shovel, toilet paper, I’m fine when camping. I did like to have a dip in a lake every 2-3 days as lack of showering bothered me more! It was worth it to me to see the Milky Way at night with no light pollution.

Everyone has their own preferences.