Cannot stop crying wtf is wrong with me?

[LovesCompany]

I just want to cry all the time, and often do. Just spent 30 minutes crying under the shower. Thinking about the crying just makes me want to cry again. Why am I like this?

Likely depressed?

What’s going through your mind when crying?

That’s not good. I’ve had a couple of patches in my life when I was like this and they coincided with big stresses in life, such as a few weeks where I was struggling with job hunting and also a disagreement with my other half over where we should live. Do you have something going on in life that you are stressed/unhappy about?

Hormonal? I cry every month, get mad at myself for crying and end up a sobbing mess wondering why I'm upset
Then my period starts. Every fucking month

Thanks, everyone. It might be hormone-related, I am post menopause (3 years ago) and on HRT, I don’t have any physical menopause symptoms but I do have anxiety. I know the HRT does something as when I forget to take it I have an absolutely awful headache. I will see the gynaecologist soon and mention it and he will no doubt prescribe a blood test.

Depression, stress, hormonal, winter SAD?

Eras tour ending?

More like no money to go to the Eras tour! But that would be a legit reason to cry.

I do hate winter, cold and lack of light.

Hormones and time of year (endless grey drab is bloody depressing)?

Same 😊 but it is quite dreary at the moment. I just feel flat. Hope you feel brighter.

Thank you so much, everyone. I hope you’re all feeling OK.

Things are a bit stressful. Lots of money worries above all and realising that whilst money cannot make you happy it does mean that you can worry a bit less about some things. Dreading Christmas.

a shower is perfect place you’ve chosen - private and you are damp anyway!

get yourself some big cotton hankies for when you are out and about, or in bed so you don’t have to be surrounded by little sodden lumps of tissues

I try to just go with the tears when alone as a sort of release valve to avoid breaking down in front of others - it helps I think

(but anytime I have had small breakdown in public the kindness has been incredible and really helped me feel the good in the world)

I think in the run up to Christmas, or during any challenging time, there is a collective air of barely suppressed fear amongst everyone out in public places

and if any of us are already on edge it can tip us right over!

whatever the physical stuff in the mix, give yourself a big hug and some grace that the tears are just the big flashing light to let you know it’s time to slow down and take time for some self-tlc

and remember Christmas may happen only once a year but it also happens every year

if you want to sit this one out you absolutely can

(I am and know of at least one other person who is “online shop in, door locked, pjs on & cheeseboard open” for the whole shebang this year too!)

💐

I am like this today but I know it’s job related (made a big mistake in moving jobs)

try and stay strong 💐🫖

Maybe talk to your doctor. X

Money problems can really undermine your sense of security and happiness. Yes I cry over these things too. It is amazing how unexpected money coming from somewhere ( although it only happens now and again ) can bring relief and instant happiness.

The progesterone part of HRT makes me feel like this for a few days every month - could it be that?

Vitamin D deficiency.. Need high dose D3 +K2.. Will stop crying after a month

Some good answers above- I’d guess Stress and exhaustion if it’s money related, as someone said above also try taking vitamin D and better sleep (screens away, don’t drink or eat late, try and find a good book etc).

I second high dose Vit D3+K2. In winter especially. I find it makes a real difference to anxiety and rumination/worry. Won’t resolve the money problems of course but makes you stronger to cope.
Can you scale back Christmas?

Thanks again to everyone, you are all so kind.

I have had vitamin D supplements since moving away from a sunny climate, and more since menopause however levels are always a little low when I have blood tests which are pretty regular.

We have scaled back Christmas to…nothing. We are never very lavish but this year we will have no presents, no travel. Hope to be able to buy something nice to eat, the DC love chocolate so I will make a Yule log. It was my birthday on Friday and sadly no cash for a gift, etc. It’s just all a bit shit.

Other than that I had a fairly major and painful operation in September, am now back at work (going well but exhausting and have probably ruined imminent chances of promotion), but can’t do sport which I love and still have pain and have the endless cycle of medical appointments, going to the pharmacy, doing medical admin etc.

That sounds like it warrants a bit of a cry actually <hands over a hankie>

we don’t have to be stiff upper lip all the time and tears have some stuff in them that calms us down <maybe some science-y person can elaborate> so crying around times of stress is the ‘right’ biological response I think

have some virtual 💐 for your birthday and I hope Christmas is a restorative quiet for you

Sounds like you’ve every right to have a bit of a cry OP. Hope your recovery is going ok.
Get some twinkly lights up for Christmas.
A SAD lamp is a real boost in the Winter months, have you tried one?

You sounded very stressed. Then I read your update, no wonder. That's a lot! Hope you get some rest and focus on de stressing. I do better with books, fresh air, sleep and some connection when stressed.

Thank you all so much. I do love reading, DH bought me two books by one of my favourite authors when I was in hospital. I need to join the library as soon as I have the energy to walk that far; it’s an awkward route for public transport (at my old job had access to lots of books so never bothered rejoining the public one when the system changed after COVID). So yes reading is a great idea.

I also have very painful indigestion (which I had hoped and believed my recent operation would cure) which sometimes keeps me up at night, I do have medication.