I’ve got this friend, she’s a bit like a female, Louis Theroux, likes to ask a lot of questions, but in a snidey kinda way, but she’s so good at it

[JennyTals]

Im trying to distance but she’s not having it
and not making it easy for me to distance

have you ever been in this situation before ?
what did you do ?

it’s weird as she can be fun and I do like her, however the dark sneeky side, I just don’t have the time for

I have a friend who is very good at putting me on the spot. You have to learn to censor yourself.

Is it that Marina Hyde with the massive hooter off of Ricard Osman sneering podcasts incorporated??

Oi, lay off Marina 😇

I’ve not heard of Marina Hyde, I’ll check her out

i already try to be guarded around her, as she likes to shit stir
and be judgey too

If you have to be guarded around her she's not a true friend. Been there!

Oh yeah she’s deffo not a true friend as I don’t trust her, which is sad

I think she’s unhappy about a few things in life and it makes her a bit bitter and jealous
soon think she sometimes does mean things, like snidey comments to make herself feel better

the tricky thing is we do have mutual friends, so hard fro get away from

She’s not a friend! Distance yourself. I wouldn’t be surprised if your mutual friends felt the same.

Yes I know they do too, bit it doesn’t seem to bother them as much

and she can be fun and does have a nice side, it’s just that streak in her if you know what I mean !!

Don't be such a knob. Marina Hyde would be a great friend to have.

You can call me a knob but she's a massive snob.

Sorry to detail but Marina Hyde is fabulous - she’s not a snob at all. Comes from a well off background but that’s not the same thing.

OP I think the best thing is to just confront her in a gentle way - “oh that’s actually a very personal question isn’t it - not sure I’m happy to answer” or “it feels like you’re implying x, I’m sure you’re not though”. And don’t be tempted to fill silences!

I couldn’t be arsed with all that questioning and having to be guarded. It’s just nosiness and competitiveness however you look at it. Just keep her as a “group friend” or acquaintance if she’s fun. Never ever confide anything!

Other no-no’s for me in friendships are (a) always talking about themselves ie. narcissistic or b) shoving their opinionated opinions on you.

I honestly seem to attract these kind of people OP. I hope you fare better!

Tbf, as a result I have very few friends now which is a bit sad but honestly I can’t be doing with the drama.

Yes If she wasn’t part of a group friendship I’d always be busy if you know what I mean

she in very nosey wants to know everything
and is also materialistic and snobby and judgey !!

I'm sensing two sides to this story...

She even tries to put words into your mouth with
so your saying ……

then inserts something your not even saying

I pretty much do try n follow what your advice is
don’t confide anything
try and keep it light and surface
i don’t really answer the personal questions but sometimes they do catch you off guard
like say right at the end of the night etc

If you want to check out her work, she used to write Lost in Showbiz in the Guardian (maybe still does? I don’t really read it in the same way now it’s gone online) and now is the co-host of a podcast called The Rest is Entertainment.

She is really ascerbic, knowledgeable and great fun and this shines through in her writing and on the podcast.

Ps as for your friend, I haven’t RTFT but if I have a friend who’s doing my head in or making me feel small in some way I tend to cool things off and put distance between us. Life is too short, find new people.

Nice. You don't have to like the woman but what do her looks have to do with anything?

I love Marina Hyde. She's incredibly smart, forthright, funny and can absolutely laugh at herself. I also like Louis Theroux. I love inquisitive people. I love people who can get other people talking.

Having said all of that. If YOU don't like her then don't spend time with her. It really is that simple. By doing nothing you are choosing something- and in this case that's hanging out with someone who makes you uncomfortable.

I totally hear you, and if she was a one to one friend she’d be gone, but she’s part of a friendship group that I’m part of too, this is why friendship groups can be so hard !!

and thanks I will look up Marina Hydes work as it’s sounds good
infact will perhaps make me realise I should look at this as more of a joke
and just need to look up ways to not answer nosey questions

I mean I have improved in that a lot perhaps form when I got to 30plus, when I was younger I had no concept of boundaries, and always felt obligated to answer questions
and I don’t know why the hell I did that
I’ve improved but got a bit more work to do perhaps

I have a sister exactly like this. She and her DH are covert narcissists I think. She has always had a mean streak. I can't even describe it as she's fucked up many things in my life for me and presented it back in the nicest possible way. She enjoys winding people up and then making out that they have got the wrong end of the stick. She is a horrible mother and I feel sad for her toddler.

These days I keep my distance but end up having to keep contact since she is family. If she was a friend I'd be ignoring her and not seeing her ever again. In your case can you just not cool the friendship a bit and just limit your interactions?

Arrange to meet with the other friends separately and don't invite her. Or if you find yourself in her company avoid conversation with her. If she does get to you and ask you intrusive questions just smile and say "I'm not talking to you about that. But did you see Colleen Rooney on I'm A Celebrity?". If her intention is to piss you off and get a reaction then she will be disappointed, because you won't get angry or annoyed, you'll simply move on. If her intention is to make you look petty in front of other people eg. - "Oh JennyTals is so sensitive . I asked her a question and now she's not talking to me!" Then responding in this way won't give her that either. Everyone will see you smiling, calm and still including her in the conversation. Just keep doing this on repeat. Smile - "I'm not talking to you about that. I love that dress where did you get it from?". She'll soon get bored of you not playing the game and go and bother someone else.

If she