I’ve got this friend, she’s a bit like a female, Louis Theroux, likes to ask a lot of questions, but in a snidey kinda way, but she’s so good at it

[JennyTals]

Im trying to distance but she’s not having it
and not making it easy for me to distance

have you ever been in this situation before ?
what did you do ?

it’s weird as she can be fun and I do like her, however the dark sneeky side, I just don’t have the time for

Just make up something different every time she asks.

‘That scar? Shark bite. Or a wolf attack. I can’t remember’

’

You need to take ownership of yourself as a grown woman.

It doesn't matter how difficult she makes it to distance yourself, or what questions she asks you.

Distance yourself anyway as you see fit and (as you have to be in contact due to your mutual friends), don't answer anything you don't want to.

You can choose two ways of doing this.

1. Be vague about any answers if you want to keep the peace.
2. Laugh and tell her to wind her neck in, if you don't.

I have a couple of friends like this at the moment, they don’t know each other but have been the same with their questions. It comes from a place of jealousy and unhappiness, they are comparing their lives to others. I hate it because I often forget to be more guarded with them, I need to put some better boundaries in place if anyone has any tips.

Thanks for the talking to, I’m gonna sleep in it and strengthen my resolve💪🏼

thank you

you could always be 007 and spin the truths with misinformation or half truths etc ?

One trick to be aware of is … when a skilled person is getting you to talk, they will often ask a question followed by silence. You may then feel uncomfortable with the silence and you will find your self gabbing and offering information up. This is a known technique … be aware that you don’t need to fill the silence. Just smile and see what happens next. The person will probably fill the silence themselves

Spoken like a true 007, some detectives/spooks even have no radio in a car when traveling with informant's etc to gain info based on your post with the silence etc

Sounds like an exhausting PITA.
Always worth remembering that ppl can’t see inside your brain. So if you give half answers, barely answers or re-direct the topic they’re left none the wiser as to thing they’re being nosy about.
also you’re free to ask “why do you ask?’ If a question is too personal or obvs coming from a judgemental place. Just bat that shit away. Personally I’d be batting her away altogether but if you really don’t want to, just practice your boundaries more. She sounds like she’s lacking respect which needs to be changed (or just v insecure?) so you’ll need to be more direct back at her.

"Sorry, I didn't hear that. What did you say?"
"NO, sorry, I missed it again. It's so loud in here! Can you say it again?"

Get them to repeat it.
They'll tone it down