Would you have a child in this situ?

[Notmycircusnotmyotter]

Asking for a friend...

You and husband have brilliant relationship. You have two kids from previous relationship, he has 3. They're here 50/50; he's a wonderful father and husband. All kids are happy.

Would you have one together?

Absolutely not. Quit while you are ahead.

No way

too many children, complicated and blended families already

plus his age

All of above I would say yes but.....

Speak to the other children involved and ask them how they would feel, would they welcome another child, especially the ones that only spend 50/50 with you and dad.

I think their input is the most important.

Also all kids are happy? I don’t buy that for a minute. If they had the choice no kid would chose their dad to live FT with stepsiblings and another woman.

That update while understandable, should not be a reason to add another child into the mix. If things are good at the moment, be grateful the children get on, and know that they will need more attention as they get older. I am assuming that they have not reached teenage years yet.

Then there’s already an imbalance. It would be wise not to risk adding to it or exacerbating it further.

Who is to guarantee the early years would be great? He is someone's ex for a reason, or if he did nothing wrong illness or injury are more likely the older you get as is having a child with additional needs that could greatly impact the quality and standard of living of the existing children.

No, do NOT do this.

It's not fair to put a decision this hugely important onto the shoulders of young children.

Thanks for advice all.

Have to say I agree it would be a madness.

No/ family dynamics will be changed forever and a child will be stuck in the midst of two families blended together

A lot of children asked such a question may be enthusiastic about having a baby sibling. They rarely understand what it all entails.

No

No from me as well. If it's all going well at the moment, I'd just be very grateful for it all and enjoy it.

No.
because the way it is now all children are equal.
If you have a child together he/she will be the special one.
I’ve seen this happen.

Not saying to ask them to make the decision.

If the children are from prev relationships and these are married, they will not be young children I am presuming, his probably teens - I definitely would ask how they would feel about it

No. Priority has to be the existing children and it is in none of their interests to add another child to this mix.

No. Absolutely not.

I don't think they are all young children, if his are teens I would be asking how they felt about it, if it was something they may think about

Having children is never sensible. Adults can over complicate how children will take things. If the existing relationships are genuinely strong I see no reason why you can't be closer as a result of having another child. They bring families together sometimes.

Honestly, no. Prioritise your existing children over a hypothetical future one, this will have an impact on your emotional and practical resources to support them. Babies and toddlers are emotionally demanding and it’s hard work balancing their needs with that of older children. Focus on enjoying them and being the best parent to them that you can be.

No. Even without financial problems time is not infinite and there are already five children whose childhoods have been disrupted by parents separating needing your attention.

OP you’re sure that all the children are happy but did you read a very moving thread on here where adult children from blended families said how hard it was for them, though they smiled and said nothing?

No, because the existing children at secondary school age will need more emotional input and changing the dynamics could be detrimental.

The heck no.

No. You don’t mention if you have income to support 5 kids, but that sounds like plenty of joint and individual responsibilities to me.