Not sure this is the right place but couldn't find a Family Board.
Sister has been with DP for around 15 years, there's a 13 year age gap (he's older) when they first met they both seemed to really enjoy the dynamic that she was a young clueless chavy girl from a council estate and he was molding into something better like some Eliza Doolittle wannabe, tbh it was laughable as he wasn't exactly sugar daddy material so we just ignored it.
A few years after they met my sister needed her appendix out and had to stay in hospital a few days longer than expected, my Mum mentioned to him that we would visit her in the hospital as she was getting a bit fed up and asked what times he was going so we could work around him and his work, he said he hadn't planned to visit her as the nurses were taking care of her and didnt want us all trooping in like the Adams family. He was obviously very pleased with this joke as its stuck and he'll often to say to my DH if we are doing something together for the day "Enjoy your day stuck with the Adams family, ha ha"
This weekend I had Mum, Sister, Aunty and Nephew stay and he said it again to DH in earshot of everyone else, DH was annoyed so he just frowned and walked away.
They live over an hour away so we're not in each others pockets but having DC of a similar age we try and spend time together and Im finding myself bracing for the next nasty comment, I've mentioned to my sister that he's rude but she just makes excuses and says he doesn't realise he's doing it??
Im normally so blindsided I can only thing of clever things to say afterwards.
I hate confrontation and I normally try and ignore rude people but Im going to snap at some point and DD is old enough now to start picking up on some of the horrible things he says. For example I asked him if he remembered a specific food from the 80's and he said "I wouldn't know I wasn't raised in a ghetto" then of course my DD is asking me what a ghetto is 🙄