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No interest in Christmas/ New Year

117 replies

fedup33 · 01/12/2024 16:49

I try, I really do. But I cant stand this time of year. So isolating.

OP posts:
CrystalSingerFan · 02/12/2024 20:17

May I recommend atheism - I'm one?

I'm also single, old, childfree, orphaned, and Christmas isn't a problem. (Dead parents, dead partners, shops closing, terrible TV, etc. are perhaps different issues?)

Over the years I've enjoyed researching places that are open on THE DAY. Here's one to kick off with - anyone else got any potentially useful input? https://rousham.org/ "Rousham Gardens are open every day of the year from 10 am. Last admission is at 4.30 pm and the gardens close at dusk." Lovely to visit.

Rousham | House & Gardens

https://rousham.org

greengreyblue · 02/12/2024 20:21

That’s great that those gardens are open. Good idea.

greengreyblue · 02/12/2024 20:21

My mil often travels in 25/12. Very cheap apparently for flights.

fedup33 · 02/12/2024 20:25

CrystalSingerFan · 02/12/2024 20:17

May I recommend atheism - I'm one?

I'm also single, old, childfree, orphaned, and Christmas isn't a problem. (Dead parents, dead partners, shops closing, terrible TV, etc. are perhaps different issues?)

Over the years I've enjoyed researching places that are open on THE DAY. Here's one to kick off with - anyone else got any potentially useful input? https://rousham.org/ "Rousham Gardens are open every day of the year from 10 am. Last admission is at 4.30 pm and the gardens close at dusk." Lovely to visit.

Yes, somebody is doing walks based from Keswick, a casual thing. I can post more info.

OP posts:
Catsmere · 02/12/2024 20:38

I haven't been interested in Christmas since I was a teenager. This year I'll be alone for the first time and am looking forward to escaping the village dinner, which is tomorrow. I went last year when my mother was in hospital - never again. The food was dire (slices of rather dry ham and turkey) and the "entertainment" worse. This year she's in her nursing home and I have an appointment, so the perfect reason to dodge it. I'm not a practicing Christian (and if I was I suspect I would dislike the commercialism) so the day has no significance for me, I don't have children or know any (which suits me fine!) and am perfectly happy to spend Christmas quietly at home, especially if it's a stinking hot day (Australian summer).

anythinginapinch · 02/12/2024 20:40

frozendaisy · 01/12/2024 17:09

And when it boils down to it it's not compulsory to enjoy Christmas and New Year many don't. Just pretend it's a normal winter month with lights to brighten the darkest time of the year.

Jog on. There's no avoiding it.

AyrshireTryer · 02/12/2024 20:42

frozendaisy · 01/12/2024 17:07

Even if it's not your thing you might find comfort at church this time of year

The church make a big thing about Christmas, generally.

MerelyPlaying · 02/12/2024 20:53

I hear you; I find December very difficult and last year was in tears at some point almost every day. It’s not the bad memories - although there are plenty - I can generally put those aside. It’s the memory of big family Christmases that don’t happen any more. We are still all in contact but numbers got too big and people want to do their own thing.

I miss my parents tremendously at this time of year, they loved Christmas and always tried to make it special.

And I loathe the ‘perfect’ ads - happy families in glamorous PJs, everyone round the table for a huge roast etc. It’s so rarely like that.

I do enjoy some things - singing Christmas music with my choir, a special get-together with my close friends - but I wish the whole thing was just a few days, not weeks and weeks. I’m lucky enough to have family to spend the day with but still I always feel like an outsider.

So the plan for this December:
no shopping malls. I try and buy local but if I have to I’ll use Amazon for the last bits
Go out for a walk every day
If a shop is playing Christmas music, I’ll walk out
Line up some nice (non Christmas) things to watch on catch-up
Stay off social media
Plan some of my favourite meals, luckily I enjoy cooking

Get some good books out of the library/re-read some of the classics from my shelves
Start a new craft project
Generally be kind to myself - you get the drift. I know what you mean about doing things on your own, but these are all things I can do at home, and I try to enjoy the chance to just be there and not being out as much as usual.

itsmylife7 · 02/12/2024 21:23

ForeverTipsy · 02/12/2024 17:27

I'm actually envious of those without children. I don't have the option of not celebrating (but sure I will when they're older and moved out). It's hard to pretend you're fine when you're not.

That was my long term plan but the, now adult,children keep returning at Christmas.

CrystalSingerFan · 02/12/2024 21:27

fedup33 · 02/12/2024 20:25

Yes, somebody is doing walks based from Keswick, a casual thing. I can post more info.

Keswick's lovely! I miss the Lake District.

Do post details - I know other folk who have problems with conventional Christmas in England and it might help.

StarDolphins · 02/12/2024 21:34

I like the run up doing nice things with my friends but Christmas Day I really don’t like. It’s a stark reminder I basically have no family bar my DD.

I just fake the day for my DD but I’m very glad when it’s over.

It’s tough op, I’m with you.

AuntieMarys · 02/12/2024 21:41

Dh and I never do a traditional Xmas but enjoy what we do. However adult ds died in October which has been awful. There will be no decorations or presents this year.

fedup33 · 03/12/2024 08:31

Sorry,@StarDolphins , I read that as no family bar.

I'd love a family bar!

OP posts:
fedup33 · 03/12/2024 08:32

AuntieMarys · 02/12/2024 21:41

Dh and I never do a traditional Xmas but enjoy what we do. However adult ds died in October which has been awful. There will be no decorations or presents this year.

It seems facile to say I'm sorry but I truely am. The isolation is awful.

OP posts:
frozendaisy · 03/12/2024 08:39

anythinginapinch · 02/12/2024 20:40

Jog on. There's no avoiding it.

No there isn't really so you can get cross and stressed or you try and make adjustments to avoid as much as possible.

You don't have to put up decorations easy.
Get shopping delivered so you don't enter a shop
Watch on demand programmes, there are many none Christmas options - make a drink or go for a wee during the few adverts
Decline all Christmas invitations you can no one will notice you aren't there

You can avoid a lot. And that's all you can do.

frozendaisy · 03/12/2024 08:41

AyrshireTryer · 02/12/2024 20:42

The church make a big thing about Christmas, generally.

Yes but church is more quiet and reflective it acknowledges some people struggle. Spiritual guidance if you like.
It's clearly not anti Christmas but it's not commercial Christmas either

fedup33 · 03/12/2024 08:44

frozendaisy · 03/12/2024 08:41

Yes but church is more quiet and reflective it acknowledges some people struggle. Spiritual guidance if you like.
It's clearly not anti Christmas but it's not commercial Christmas either

Church makes me feel more isolated. How I'd love to believe, but I don't.

Our local vicar was friendly till he realised I was probably a non starter for the flock.

OP posts:
Newgirls · 03/12/2024 09:15

Money is the key here. This is when I go to the theatre, cinema etc and I plan a holiday for January. I’d rather go without in the summer and go in winter when I need it. Might not be able to this year but plan for next year?

ILoveMoonDaisies · 03/12/2024 09:19

My DH and I stopped celebrating Christmas 14 years ago. It might sound odd but the reason being we're Christians. We looked into the origins of the celebration and discovered it is largely a pagan festival and the Catholic church has tried to christianise it. But we are not catholics. The evergreen decorations, Yule log, lights etc are all pagan symbols. Even Santa originates from the god Odin and gifts were originally left out to appease him and to ward off evil spirits. We enjoy seeing family and friends over the holiday but avoid everything else connected with Christmas and feel much better for it.

fedup33 · 03/12/2024 11:19

ILoveMoonDaisies · 03/12/2024 09:19

My DH and I stopped celebrating Christmas 14 years ago. It might sound odd but the reason being we're Christians. We looked into the origins of the celebration and discovered it is largely a pagan festival and the Catholic church has tried to christianise it. But we are not catholics. The evergreen decorations, Yule log, lights etc are all pagan symbols. Even Santa originates from the god Odin and gifts were originally left out to appease him and to ward off evil spirits. We enjoy seeing family and friends over the holiday but avoid everything else connected with Christmas and feel much better for it.

Absolute respect for you.

OP posts:
greengreyblue · 04/12/2024 07:00

ILoveMoonDaisies · 03/12/2024 09:19

My DH and I stopped celebrating Christmas 14 years ago. It might sound odd but the reason being we're Christians. We looked into the origins of the celebration and discovered it is largely a pagan festival and the Catholic church has tried to christianise it. But we are not catholics. The evergreen decorations, Yule log, lights etc are all pagan symbols. Even Santa originates from the god Odin and gifts were originally left out to appease him and to ward off evil spirits. We enjoy seeing family and friends over the holiday but avoid everything else connected with Christmas and feel much better for it.

I was a cradle Catholic. No longer believe . The fact that a winter festive period originated with the Pagan era makes much more sense to me than a virgin birth!! A festival of light and cheer in the darkest month of the year. Interesting that you dis Catholics when the Chirch of England basically is the Catholic Church , just reworked to allow a Tudor king to divorce! Hope you enjoy the Catholic Churches that have become C of E due to the reformation! Cheek!

sashh · 04/12/2024 11:00

I don't do it OP.

It can be a bit annoying because things are not open so I'm wither in the house or if I go to a pub I'm surrounded by decorations and people being 'Christmassy'.

When I was teaching it was a good day to get marking done. If you have a job to do then it is a good day to get things done.

CrystalSingerFan · 04/12/2024 14:36

I like sashh's experience: "When I was teaching it was a good day to get marking done. If you have a job to do then it is a good day to get things done."

Someone also told me that choosing to fly on Christmas Day was terrific - less crowded, focussed, everyone who wants to be 'Christmassy' is doing this elsewhere, and it's relatively cheap.

Has anyone done it? Is it true?

greengreyblue · 04/12/2024 15:59

CrystalSingerFan · 04/12/2024 14:36

I like sashh's experience: "When I was teaching it was a good day to get marking done. If you have a job to do then it is a good day to get things done."

Someone also told me that choosing to fly on Christmas Day was terrific - less crowded, focussed, everyone who wants to be 'Christmassy' is doing this elsewhere, and it's relatively cheap.

Has anyone done it? Is it true?

Yes it is and quiet.

CrystalSingerFan · 04/12/2024 16:02

greengreyblue · 04/12/2024 15:59

Yes it is and quiet.

Great to hear! Thanks...