If you send your kid to secondary school still believing in Santa the resulting fallout is on your head

[Stripitout]

Try and weigh up how important your Christmas magic is against your kid being mercilessly teased when their peers find out they still believe

I sent both mine still believing and neither were bullied, if they were taken the piss out of, they recovered. I distinctly remember DS coming home from school saying “come on mum, Father Christmas isn’t real is he?” And my answer ever since is, “if you don’t believe you don’t get”.

They are 30 and 27, no suffering was encountered, I have never ever told them the truth. They are not damaged, they think it’s funny that I never burst their bubble.

Probably primary. I had a gradual figuring out myself so I couldn't tell you at what point I stopped. I don't remember kids really talking about Santa much after about Year 2. Even if I'd believed at secondary it was such a hostile environment I doubt I'd have talked about something like that with my peers.

Totally agree, it’s your job as a parent to prepare children for starting secondary school and this is one of the things on that list (assuming they haven’t already figured it out!)
Other kids can be cruel but there are things parents can do to reduce their chances of being targeted. As an ex teacher I witnessed a Y7 boy being mercilessly teased for bringing an elf on the shelf into school.

Yeah, I told mine before he started secondary school.

No I didn't.

Unfairness: in our house Santa is the courier. The kids have ways known that we pay for the presents and choose the presents, Santa simply delivers the gifts. They then appreciate that we have worked hard to pay for the gifts.

The rest of it: it's magic. That's the whole point of it. He hasn't questioned it because he still believes in the magic of it all. It's no different to people believing in gods.

I was also in high school when I stopped believing. I wasnt bullied. I'm not thick or stupid. I went to university, became a teacher and now own my own business and home educate my children. I just held into innocence a little longer and believed in magic.

Genuinely shocked that there are kids who believe in Father Christmas in year 7 and 8. What happened to critical thinking skills?!

I agree with PP that it's selfish to let a kid turn up at secondary school still believing in flying reindeers. There's no emotion stronger than shame and kids are bloody cruel.

A colleague of mine sent her son to year 7 still believing. She thought this was fine as he was a summer birthday. When the teacher mentioned in class something about the myth of Santa, he was devastated and she phoned up to complain.

there really are many children who would go up to secondary still believing and I agree that as parents it’s important to make sure they know the truth by then if they haven’t already worked it out for themselves

I don't know how he squares it all in his head. I'm not in there. Do I think he's a little old to believe? Yes. But I'm not bursting that little bubble of innocence if it makes him happy. It doesn't hurt anyone for him to believe. He's academically ahead of his peers, sitting his history and English igcse exams next summer at age 14. He doesn't believe in tooth fairy or easter bunny, but for some reason is holding onto Santa, and that's fine by me. As I said, his 12 year old brother doesn't believe but his 10 & 5 year olds do.

I'm not worried about his development or critical thinking but crack on if you're worried on my behalf.

Good point!

I may have said “if he doesn’t exist you won’t get anything” (and I may not 😂), anyway neither of them were bullied or traumatised by going to high school still believing. I’m pretty sure they weren't the only ones.

I'd suspect a real lack of critical thinking and surfeit of credulity from a child of that age still believing in santa.

He's home educated.

I have stated that.

He started his igce last year so is in his second year of it.

*igcse

Can I also say that there are also kids who are always super eager to please and be the 'perfect' child.

I think where parents say their 11 or 12-year-old still believes have children like this and who don't want to burst their PARENTS' bubble. ;)

If you're going to try and pick holes in my posts, please make sure your own comprehension skills are up to scratch.

I'm out of this conversation now.

Some kids just really believe until they are told he's not real. I remember my ex 's kid who was in year 5 at the time and he firmly believed. Most kids age 10/11 that believe still have an inkling that the whole thing (santa/sleigh/North pole) doesn't add up but go along with it, but I remember that Christmas his son telling me with firm belief that the reindeers must have sat on the roof and santa came down the (closed off) fireplace and walked past us sleeping (fireplace was in the bedroom). He was so convinced this could actually happen to the point it was really odd for a child that age to be so convinced and I remember thinking do you seriously believe this?

When he was told santa wasn't real he was devastated. Santa's a bit of fun for younger kids, but for an adult to keep going along with the story to that extent with a child of 10/11 is quite cruel because they won't naturally "figure it out", they have to be told which causes devastation.

I am in my early forties and I never fully believed, but once I knew for certain it was a lie I questioned my Mum as to how I'd been taught not to lie but she'd lied to me about it.

Just to ask, how does one go about getting that sort of child? Becuase all mine seem to go out of their way to act like awkward arseholes 🤣